CHRISTMAS IN CONNECTICUT

title: CHRISTMAS IN CONNECTICUT
year: 1992
cast: Dyan Cannon, Kris Kristofferson, Tony Curtis, Richard Roundtree
rating: *1/2

Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Terminator. Arnold Schwarzenegger is one bad dude. He’s a barbarian, a commando. Gunning down villains, chopping off heads or hunting down frightened damsels: it doesn’t matter because he’s cool, he’s mean, he’s tough… And he’s the director of Christmas in Connecticut. Okay, what’s wrong – very, very wrong – with this picture? Just about everything. Dyan Cannon's the star of a popular cooking show who, pushed by a finicky, uptight and horrendously over-the-top movie producer Tony Curtis, feigns knowledge in the ways of the kitchen – when she’s really a shallow actress living in New York City. Then there’s Kris Kristofferson as a backwoods county Sheriff, famous for saving a boy’s life. Thus Curtis gets an idea to put Cannon and Kristofferson in a holiday special taking place in her fictional country home replete with a bogus family, each member unfunnier than the next. All this is to trick Kristofferson but there’s absolutely no reason he needs to be fooled, nor does it matter when he – or the viewing public when the show goes live – finds out the truth, making the entire TV movie a dull, predictable mess… Posing the question: What on earth was Arnold thinking? And as for his career as a director: after this, he wouldn’t be back.