Written by / 11/13/2011 / No comments / , , , , , ,

IMMORTALS

title: IMMORTALS
year: 2011
cast: Henry Cavill, John Hurt, Stephen Dorff
rating: *1/2

While it’s common for gladiator movies to have people looking like they’re straight from a modeling agency, never has one been so replete with perfectly chiseled male and female supermodels seeming fresh from a personal training session. But the problem is the setting; basically a mountaintop where there’s never any sense of adventure i.e. our heroes have nowhere else to go.

The plot has evil King Hyperion, played by a grisly Mickey Roarke in scarred, distracting makeup, seeking an important weapon in order to free the titans, which would then cause… bad stuff to happen. Which it does, but only the third act harbors any sort of meaningful battle – although with so many men fighting at once, it’s never personal enough to merit our hero Theseus (Henry Cavill) as being any more than a skillful warrior in a video game.

The other characters are one-dimensional and dull, including posturing beauty Frieda Pinto as the virginal "McGuffin" (a device driving the plot that no one pays attention to) and John Hurt as a narrating old man who turns into a young Zeus – yet another G.Q. pinup.

Stephen Dorff’s Stavros is almost interesting – a cocky antihero the likes of Han Solo – but he soon becomes part of the vicious blender of gory C.G.I. that’s too over-the-top to look realistic, happening amongst quick-paced MATRIX style slow-motion karate... raising the question: When and where did this ancient race study Bruce Lee films?

So here’s yet another movie about gods and titans taking itself way too seriously: the thunderous soundtrack and explosive effects outshining the characters, who, lacking any real depth, motivation, or purpose, seem like shiny pieces on an overpriced chessboard.
Share This Post :
Tags : , , , , , ,

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Featured Post

ROBERT FORSTER VS THE JAWS OF 'ALLIGATOR' W/ ROBIN RIKER

Poster art for Lewis Teague's ALLIGATOR Year: 1980 Of all JAWS-clones, ALLIGATOR is the most original, and, the second written by Jo...

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Most Popular Last Year

WWW.CULTFILMFREAKS.COM

WWW.CULTFILMFREAKS.COM
Movie Reviews, Interviews & Pop Culture ranging from White Heat to Blue City

FOR TELEVISION REVIEWS

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK

TOTAL HITS

Popular Trending

FOUNDED BY JAMES M. TATE

FOUNDED BY JAMES M. TATE
RANDOM QUOTE: "Maybe you're too pure, Paul. Too pure for the natural impurities of the law." Arthur O'Connell to James Stewart in Otto Preminger's Anatomy of a Murder

Blog Archive

ETERNAL ART OF FILM NOIR

FAVORITES SHORTLIST

MOVIES 1)THE FEARMAKERS 2)JAWS 3)THE CROWDED SKY 4)HOT CARS 5)RAIDERS FROM BENEATH THE SEA 6)VIOLENT SATURDAY 7)ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD 8)THE MAN FROM LARAMIE 9)CANYON PASSAGE 10)SHARKS' TREASURE 11)AIR PATROL 12)EASY LIVING 13)CURSE OF THE DEMON 14)HARDCORE 15)WICHITA 16)WILLIAM CONRAD'S BRAINSTORM 17)KILLER FISH 18)ANATOMY OF A MURDER 19)WHITE HEAT 20)FALLEN ANGEL 21)AL CAPONE 22)THE SERGEANT 23)THE DEFECTOR 24)CANYON RIVER 25)WHERE THE SIDEWALK ENDS

ACTORS 1)DANA ANDREWS 2)JAMES CAGNEY 3)MARLON BRANDO 4)ORSON WELLES 5)JACK NICHOLSON 6)PETER O'TOOLE 7)TOM COURTENAY 8)CHARLES BRONSON 9)GENE HACKMAN 10)STEVE COCHRAN DIRECTORS 1)JACQUES TOURNEUR 2)RICHARD FLEISCHER 3)STANLEY KUBRICK 4)ORSON WELLES 5)OTTO PREMINGER 6)MAURY DEXTER 7)JOHN GUILLERMIN 8)JOHN LANDIS 9)MICHAEL WINNER 10)SAM PECKINPAH ACTRESSES 1)VIRGINIA MAYO 2)FAYE DUNAWAY 3)SUE LYON 4)GENE TIERNEY 5)MERRY ANDERS

SCIENCE-FICTION STUFF

Popular This Month

OUR OWN CORNERSTONE

OUR OWN CORNERSTONE
Open the door to DANA ANDREWS Cinema

DANA ANDREWS FACEBOOK

BLOGS OF INTEREST

STARING INTO THE SIXTIES

RARITIES & EXPLOITATION

All Time Popular

KICKING IN THE EIGHTIES

TALES AND REFLECTIONS

TALES AND REFLECTIONS
"Really cool and a lot of class." Yaphet Kotto

TARGETING THE SEVENTIES

RETURN TO THE HOMEPAGE