Written by / 11/13/2011 / No comments / , , , , , ,

IMMORTALS

title: IMMORTALS
year: 2011
cast: Henry Cavill, John Hurt, Stephen Dorff
rating: *1/2

While it’s common for gladiator movies to have people looking like they’re straight from a modeling agency, never has one been so replete with perfectly chiseled male and female supermodels seeming fresh from a personal training session. But the problem is the setting; basically a mountaintop where there’s never any sense of adventure i.e. our heroes have nowhere else to go.

The plot has evil King Hyperion, played by a grisly Mickey Roarke in scarred, distracting makeup, seeking an important weapon in order to free the titans, which would then cause… bad stuff to happen. Which it does, but only the third act harbors any sort of meaningful battle – although with so many men fighting at once, it’s never personal enough to merit our hero Theseus (Henry Cavill) as being any more than a skillful warrior in a video game.

The other characters are one-dimensional and dull, including posturing beauty Frieda Pinto as the virginal "McGuffin" (a device driving the plot that no one pays attention to) and John Hurt as a narrating old man who turns into a young Zeus – yet another G.Q. pinup.

Stephen Dorff’s Stavros is almost interesting – a cocky antihero the likes of Han Solo – but he soon becomes part of the vicious blender of gory C.G.I. that’s too over-the-top to look realistic, happening amongst quick-paced MATRIX style slow-motion karate... raising the question: When and where did this ancient race study Bruce Lee films?

So here’s yet another movie about gods and titans taking itself way too seriously: the thunderous soundtrack and explosive effects outshining the characters, who, lacking any real depth, motivation, or purpose, seem like shiny pieces on an overpriced chessboard.
Share This Post :
Tags : , , , , , ,

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

All Time Popular

Featured Post

TOBE HOOPER DIRECTS THE TV VAMPIRE MOVIE OF 'SALEM'S LOT'

David Soul in SALEM'S LOT Year: 1979 Rating: ****1/2 Although groundbreaking horror/exploitation director Tobe Hooper is best known for...

WWW.CULTFILMFREAKS.COM

WWW.CULTFILMFREAKS.COM
Movie Reviews, Interviews, Articles and Pop Culture from White Heat to Blue City

RIP ACTOR KEN HUTCHISON

TOTAL HITS

Popular Trending

FOUNDED BY JAMES M. TATE

FOUNDED BY JAMES M. TATE
RANDOM QUOTE: "Some guys, they just hate for no reason." Joe Spinell, Rocky

FILM NOIR & NEO NOIR CRIME

FAVORITES SHORTLIST

1)OTLEY 2)HELL IS A CITY 3)ROBBERY 4)THE FEARMAKERS 5)CANYON PASSAGE 6)VIOLENT SATURDAY 7)HOT CARS 8)JUNGLE STREET 9)ANATOMY OF A MURDER 10)THE CROWDED SKY 11))THE MAN FROM LARAMIE 12)SHARKS' TREASURE 13)SWEENEY TWO 14)RAIDERS FROM BENEATH THE SEA 15)HARDCORE 16)THE SYSTEM 17)WHITE HEAT 18)AL CAPONE 19)THE SERGEANT 20)FALLEN ANGEL 21)NIGHT CREATURES 22)CURSE OF THE DEMON 23)ASH WEDNESDAY 24)THE BREAK 25)AIR PATROL 26)DUEL IN THE JUNGLE 27)EASY LIVING 28)WILLIAM CONRAD'S BRAINSTORM 29)FRENZY 30)THE ROARING TWENTIES 1)DANA ANDREWS 2)JAMES CAGNEY 3)STANLEY BAKER 4)MARLON BRANDO 5)JACK NICHOLSON 1)VIRGINIA MAYO 2)SUE LYON 3)GENE TIERNEY 4)MERRY ANDERS 5)FAYE DUNAWAY DIRECTORS 1)JACQUES TOURNEUR 2)RICHARD FLEISCHER 3)STANLEY KUBRICK 4)ORSON WELLES 5)OTTO PREMINGER 6)JOHN LANDIS 7)JOHN GUILLERMAN 8)VAL GUEST 9)JOHN CARPENTER 10)MICHAEL WINNER

BRITISH NEW WAVE CINEMA

RARITIES AND EXPLOITATION

HAMMER HORROR & THRILLER

Popular This Month

CHARLES BRONSON CINEMA

CINEMA OF DANA ANDREWS

WESTERN GENRE REVIEWS

PEAKING INTO THE SIXTIES

KICKING IN THE EIGHTIES

TALES AND REFLECTIONS

REVVING THE SEVENTIES

FOR HORROR MOVIE REVIEWS


Reviews for the British series The Sweeney

Most Popular Last Year

RETURN TO THE HOMEPAGE