CHANNELLING LITTLE GIRL LOST TWILIGHT ZONE INTO POLTERGEIST

<div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DTKpcLjJHus/VWuk2-VUpQI/AAAAAAAAn2Y/74vM1Ddo53s/s1600/Picture%2B1.png" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DTKpcLjJHus/VWuk2-VUpQI/AAAAAAAAn2Y/74vM1Ddo53s/s320/Picture%2B1.png" width="220" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Writing on the wall</td></tr> </tbody></table> <span style="font-size: small;">It's sheer luc<span style="font-size: small;">k when<span style="font-size: small;"> your</span></span> daughter vanishes, her <span style="font-size: small;">f<span style="font-size: small;">rightened </span></span>voice speaking somewhere behind the walls of the house, late at night… '</span><br /> <span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: small;">That is, if your neighbor just happens to be an expert <span style="font-size: small;">on</span> inner-dimensional travel, beyond capable to guide you <span style="font-size: small;">through</span> the process <span style="font-size: small;">of </span>figuring things out by drawing lines on the wall<span style="font-size: small;"> so </span>she can be pulled back to the real world, on<span style="font-size: small;">ce again</span>… </span><br /> <span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">And f</span>or those unaware<span style="font-size: small;">,</span> the <span style="font-size: small;">"</span>They're<span style="font-size: small;">"</span> in "They're Here" w<span style="font-size: small;">as</span> already around for two decades<span style="font-size: small;">:</span> <span style="font-size: small;">although</span> in POLTERGEIST that helpful male neighbor is a short lady with an intentionally grating voice<span style="font-size: small;">... A</span>nd LITTLE GIRL LOST, from the third season of Rod Serling's THE TWILIGHT ZONE, was written by Richard Matheson<span style="font-size: small;">, who <span style="font-size: small;">later penned</span></span> the television movie that would <span style="font-size: small;">get</span> POLTERGEIST producer Steven Spielberg on the map: JAWS is for killer fish what DUEL is for Mack Trucks, after all. And to connect LITTLE GIRL LOST even fu<span style="font-size: small;">r<span style="font-size: small;">ther</span></span> to <span style="font-size: small;">S<span style="font-size: small;">pielber<span style="font-size: small;">g</span></span></span>: the episode was directed by Paul Stewart, the butler from CITIZEN KANE in charge of <span style="font-size: small;">torching</span> <span style="font-size: small;">Charles Foster Kane's boy<span style="font-size: small;">hood sled</span></span>... Two were used for filming<span style="font-size: small;"> and, </span>years later, the remaining "Rosebud" would be purchased by<span style="font-size: small;"> Steven himself, a<span style="font-size: small;">n </span>Orson Welles</span> <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">fan</span>. </span></span><br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ivMSeXbSMiI/VWtofEPdFmI/AAAAAAAAn08/cmKkfSg2E-A/s1600/Picture%2B2.png" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ivMSeXbSMiI/VWtofEPdFmI/AAAAAAAAn08/cmKkfSg2E-A/s320/Picture%2B2.png" width="217" /></a></span></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Little Girl Found 20 years later</span></td></tr> </tbody></table> <span style="font-size: small;">So with Spielberg and Matheson having scratched each others backs<span style="font-size: medium;"> (DUEL gave<span style="font-size: medium;"> Richard a nice push <span style="font-size: medium;">as well</span>), maybe</span></span> a<span style="font-size: medium;"> </span>deal was worked out so the 1982 <span style="font-size: medium;">film's</span> frantic <span style="font-size: medium;">third</span> act could borrow heavily from what made up the entire ZONE <span style="font-size: medium;">premise</span>…<span style="font-size: medium;"> </span> </span><br /> <span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: small;">Ironic that Spielberg would, the following year,<span style="font-size: medium;"> <span style="font-size: medium;">produce</span> a</span> cinematic TWILIGHT ZONE<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: medium;">...<span style="font-size: medium;"> <span style="font-size: medium;">T</span></span></span></span>he best segment being the William Shatner classic NIGHTMARE AT 20,000 FEET<span style="font-size: medium;"> <span style="font-size: medium;">recasting</span> John Lithgow,</span> directed by George Miller, and originally written by Richard Matheso<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: medium;">n<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: medium;">, thus </span>epitomizing his ZO<span style="font-size: medium;">NE contributor legacy</span>.<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span></span><br /> <br /> Though not his best addition, LITTLE GIRL LOST is quite <span style="font-size: medium;">good</span>, providing a sort of cursed<span style="font-size: medium;"> </span>vibe throughout –<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> edgy</span> turmoil</span> equally shared by father, wife, neighbor, unseen daughter and especially that intrepid pooch… Leading to a glimpse into the other side: a<span style="font-size: medium;">n out of f<span style="font-size: medium;">ocus</span></span>, celestial shadowland that might have been better left to the viewer’s imagination<span style="font-size: medium;">, more developed </span>within the contained Stage Play buildup –<span style="font-size: medium;"> tightly</span> written, acted, directed and allowing one of the best horror<span style="font-size: medium;"> <span style="font-size: medium;">films</span></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">to be made</span> (and then horribly remade) years later. Now that's recycling!<br /> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div>

eighties, richard matheson, science-fiction, sixties, steven spielberg

CHANNELLING LITTLE GIRL LOST TWILIGHT ZONE INTO POLTERGEIST

Writing on the wall It's sheer luc k when your daughter vanishes, her f rightened voice speaking somewhere behind the walls of t...

REVIEW OF THE SIXTH EPISODE OF HAPPYISH

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Yxif2uVtFv0/VWvAkJsgsxI/AAAAAAAAn20/_xNKQ1ikExg/s1600/Picture%2B2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Yxif2uVtFv0/VWvAkJsgsxI/AAAAAAAAn20/_xNKQ1ikExg/s200/Picture%2B2.png" width="78" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">E6 Grade: D</td></tr> </tbody></table> Like the Prince of Egypt crossing the long hot desert, the sixth episode of Showtime's HAPPYISH titled "Moses, Helen Keller & Lenny Bruce" is a bridge between... not sure what exactly...<br /> <br /> Still, the impossible Promised Land is sought after by Kathryn Hahn's Lee Payne during a day of shopping... Meanwhile, Steve Coogan as Thom, her husband and overall partner-in-pessimism, is dealing with a new employee at the Ad Agency, a youngster thinking up a new campaign for The Wonderbra who could very well become his own Pete Campbell...<br /> <br /> And that's pretty much that: A conversational tribute to the art of searching and a searching tribute to the art of conversation. The problem is, there's really no light at the end of the tunnel, or any tunnel anywhere, really... Just open space as, after a Biblical rendition, Moses crosses over, guiding Lee through the mall... And how many times can he scream "Let my Penis Free" before the realization that this week's bland envelope has been pushed far enough?

2015, cable, kathryn hahn, steve coogan

REVIEW OF THE SIXTH EPISODE OF HAPPYISH

E6 Grade: D Like the Prince of Egypt crossing the long hot desert, the sixth episode of Showtime's HAPPYISH titled "Moses, Hele...

REVIEW OF CAMERON CROWE'S ALOHA

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-J36WkMw4NuM/VWngOyGiZcI/AAAAAAAAnzQ/NLho0XBF6hE/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-J36WkMw4NuM/VWngOyGiZcI/AAAAAAAAnzQ/NLho0XBF6hE/s200/1.jpg" width="129" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2015 rating: 1/2</td></tr> </tbody></table> The Politically Correct Machine has helped save ALOHA by venting complaints that there aren't enough actual Hawaiians in a movie set in Hawaii. Controversy covering up for an empty shell. <br /> <br /> First off, there's hardly anyone around beyond the primary cast, with the exception of a small village of… Native Hawaiians that, unlike the greedy white folk, are like “Indians” in Neo Westerns, looking to the sky with wisdom while those neurotic Caucasians race around like gaudy checkers on a plush chessboard. And what really needs to be centered on is how truly awful ALOHA is, in every regard – which might be an impossible feat since no other recent movie has lacked so much: including plot and character-development, two things attempted right off the bat simply because three popular and attractive movie stars appear together on the big screen: After cramming everything into a rushed introductory narration, we meet Bradley Cooper’s Brian Gilcrest, a maverick defense contractor sent to Hawaii – and yet we never actually experience anything he’d ever risked. Imagine if Han Solo were first introduced to audiences already frozen in carbonate... Tony Stark in a coma.<br /> <br /> <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2Sg9RAeX87g/VWngThhhyFI/AAAAAAAAnzY/eTWq0_dQlwo/s1600/2.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2Sg9RAeX87g/VWngThhhyFI/AAAAAAAAnzY/eTWq0_dQlwo/s320/2.jpg" width="192" /></a>By his side, overacting to the hilt… an embarrassing, hyperactive attempt to <i>steal the picture</i>... is Emma Stone as Allison Nig, a spunky fighter pilot never once seen fighting or piloting. Hired to keep an eye on Cooper’s ambiguous shyster while they get lost in the "magical" Hawaiian night, working out a land deal with the natives, their Romantic Comedy chemistry is beyond awkward. She seems to be frantically auditioning for the “role of a lifetime” while Cooper blandly rehearses for just another paycheck: as if his SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK character overdosed on Valium, and went with it. Meanwhile, in writer/director Cameron Crowe’s usual low-rent Hal Ashby fashion, he throws in a collection of otherwise good tracks for no apparent reason: a jukebox playing in a barroom of chattering nincompoops.  <br /> <br /> If this pseudo couple weren't bad enough, throw in an ex girlfriend, Tracy, played by the always overly-angelic Rachel McAdams, and her two perfect Hollywood-Cliché kids, attempting to give our leading man legitimate background as a flawed-endearing human being. Yet no one is fleshed-out beyond idyllic chatter tethered to a buried plot involving a really rich guy (Bill Murray, wasting his and our time) who wants to launch a rocket... of some kind... to the local’s existential chagrin.  <br /> <br /> As for an actual story – there isn’t one. In fact, ALOHA is neither a popcorn time-filler, an arthouse comedy, a political/military satire or any kind of romance. By far the best character, involved in a humorous moment towards the end, does the audience a favor by hardly speaking a word, a miracle in itself: For Cameron Crowe’s dialogue has become so vapid, he should start making Silent Films… Let’s just hope someone else writes the title cards.

2015, bill murray, bradley cooper, cameron crowe, emma stone, rachel mcadams, romantic comedy

REVIEW OF CAMERON CROWE'S ALOHA

2015 rating: 1/2 The Politically Correct Machine has helped save ALOHA by venting complaints that there aren't enough actual Hawaiia...

ROCK VS EARTHQUAKE IN SAN ANDREAS

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3mxAATY77DE/VWfyHzzgrCI/AAAAAAAAny8/YJv7skPzck0/s1600/Picture%2B1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3mxAATY77DE/VWfyHzzgrCI/AAAAAAAAny8/YJv7skPzck0/s320/Picture%2B1.png" width="160" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2015 rating: ***</td></tr> </tbody></table> The Disaster genre, ranging from EARTHQUAKE to TITANIC, relies mainly on two things: characters and... disaster. And they should be in that order because, after all, you can only invest so much on a catastrophe…<br /> <br /> That aspect takes care of itself, especially with today’s special effects, allowing just about anything to occur on the big screen – and in the case of SAN ANDREAS, the sky is the limit. Thankfully, the few humans on board are likable enough. And instead of setting up a normal story before being catapulted into turmoil halfway through, it all flows together, from one obstacle to the next. <br /> <br /> Dwayne Johnson is the perfect fit here, and as a helicopter-flying rescuer, he has all the attributes and machinery once the crap hits the fan – the Bay Area getting pummeled by more than just the ground shaking. Meanwhile, the coolest looking sequence is also the most ridiculously far-fetched, as our heroes venture off the land and into the water, facing unbelievable odds. Yet somehow, even Rock’s corniest devil-may-care lines seem pretty natural... <br /> <br /> The only cringe moments occur between his daughter and her two new friends – but their plight is connected enough to Johnson, who, along with an equally intrepid ex-wife, are the ones to follow through this relatively basic "save the family" action flick disguised as a big budget epic.

2015, action, disaster, dwayne johnson

ROCK VS EARTHQUAKE IN SAN ANDREAS

2015 rating: *** The Disaster genre, ranging from EARTHQUAKE to TITANIC, relies mainly on two things: characters and... disaster. And th...

LAWRENCE TIERNEY CINEMA: TOUGH GUYS DON'T DANCE

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-shR5pb5QHXU/XJfwYIjcboI/AAAAAAABBmg/nypTBcQpH1UPQvvXOTtlPqLptDgUpQeIACLcBGAs/s1600/55498733_673483169747529_2011815122997084160_n.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="616" data-original-width="785" height="313" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-shR5pb5QHXU/XJfwYIjcboI/AAAAAAABBmg/nypTBcQpH1UPQvvXOTtlPqLptDgUpQeIACLcBGAs/s400/55498733_673483169747529_2011815122997084160_n.jpeg" width="400"></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Ryan O'Neal and Lawrence Tierney YEAR: 1986</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> Ryan O’Neal’s infamous “Oh Man Oh God” moment, while awful and embarrassing, taken on its own accord... linked all over the Internet and embedded below this review... within context of an equally bizarre vehicle, just sort of comes and goes, coinciding with a cheesy spinning camera-glide in this Neo Noir thriller with little thrills, tons of intentionally pulpy dialogue that Norman Mailer, who directed based on his novel turned screenplay, purposely borrows from the likes of Raymond Chandler and Mickey Spillane...<br> <br> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rsxlxLu92Ow/VV48Pe6KxHI/AAAAAAAAnus/1kv0WZ_RAfg/s1600/6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rsxlxLu92Ow/VV48Pe6KxHI/AAAAAAAAnus/1kv0WZ_RAfg/s320/6.jpg" width="168"></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Camp Value: ***1/2</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> Although there weren’t many cocaine addicts written about back in those dime novel days; at least not for an aimless anti-hero to be involved with without a second thought. Enter O’Neal’s low-rent ex-con writer, Tim Madden, literally counting the days with shaving cream on a mirror of his missing wife's beachfront mansion...<br> <br> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div> We begin as Tim finds his dad sitting reposeful in the living room, and Lawrence Tierney, a man who reigned genuine terror in the true crime flicks of yesteryear (and would growl in RESERVOIR DOGS a few years later), actually has a reason to be bald-headed: His surprisingly subdued, world-weary Dougy Madden is suffering from the after-effects of chemotherapy. The conversations with his son, including banal dialogue seeming like ad libs from a macho actor's workshop (O'NEAL: "You always worried I'd turn out queer" TIERNEY: "Your mother was delicate, she spoiled you a lot" O'NEAL: "Well I did my three years in the slammer standing up, no one made me a punk" TIERNEY "Good for you... I didn't want to ask") is how, instead of the usual narration, we're provided exposition through this steamy, uneven tale centering on O’Neal trying to figure out how the severed skull of a woman got buried in the woods, and why he knows the exact location.<br>

eighties, lawrence tierney, neo noir, norman mailer, ryan o'neal

LAWRENCE TIERNEY CINEMA: TOUGH GUYS DON'T DANCE

Ryan O'Neal and Lawrence Tierney YEAR: 1986 Ryan O’Neal’s infamous “Oh Man Oh God” moment, while awful and embarrassing, taken on it...

EPISODE FIVE HITS RELATIVE HIGH ON HAPPYISH

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-R_WZvTgQDL4/VWKJZbYxi4I/AAAAAAAAnyc/ip_SVvm11bs/s1600/Picture%2B2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-R_WZvTgQDL4/VWKJZbYxi4I/AAAAAAAAnyc/ip_SVvm11bs/s200/Picture%2B2.png" width="81" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">E5 Grade: A-</td></tr> </tbody></table> After four episodes of overly catering to those who, like Bob Dylan wrote, are at the point where negativity won't pull them through, HAPPYISH hits a highpoint, somewhat...<br /> <br /> That is, the main character, Thom Payne, ad man un-extraordinaire, is stuck on a stalled New York train on the way to work, and doesn't philosophize as much as experiences the doldrums in which his theories are often derived... Like finally witnessing what's inside the guy who goes outside his own pontificating box, and, despite the eclectic title "Starring Josey Wales, Jesus Christ and the New York Times," we begin shouting "F--- You" to Arthur Miller, the playwright whose DEATH OF A SALESMAN reflects Thom's nowhere job... in his mind. Standing next to Marylin Monroe, the epitome of a trophy wife, Miller deserves to be cursed at or they'd have chosen another photo. Meanwhile, co-star Kathryn Hahn's Lee gets stuck in a rented studio, listening to a man who lost his family to the Nazis. Herein, she's as bored as the audience. <br /> <br /> Jesus is praised obnoxiously, Clint Eastwood's Josey Wales is quoted quickly, and The New York Times is what people read on the train, annoying Thom to death and finally bringing this Showtime show to life. Funny that it took a dead train to get a potentially good ride on track... without even trying this time around.

2015, cable

EPISODE FIVE HITS RELATIVE HIGH ON HAPPYISH

E5 Grade: A- After four episodes of overly catering to those who, like Bob Dylan wrote, are at the point where negativity won't pull...

WEEKEND REVIEW OF TOMORROWLAND

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8Z7eKOJRFRQ/VWA2sJJOLjI/AAAAAAAAnyI/Ce57OBYYixU/s1600/Picture%2B1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8Z7eKOJRFRQ/VWA2sJJOLjI/AAAAAAAAnyI/Ce57OBYYixU/s200/Picture%2B1.png" width="108" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">year: 2015</td></tr> </tbody></table> Veiled in sparse, mysterious promotion, TOMORROWLAND is, well, kind of based on the section of Disneyland providing a retro-reversed future, viewed through the awe-inspired eyes of the 1950’s when true Science Fiction reigned and dreams were storybook creative and Utopian deluxe. <br /> <br /> Starting out as a ROCKETEER meets CONTACT, we have two young heroes – first a brilliant boy who will grow into George Clooney; and then a determined girl who receives a magical pin to enter the titular location that includes a monorail (sans the rail) and other futuristic CG visuals, as if George Lucas created a live-action JETSONS... But Steven Spielberg seems the nostalgic influence of director Brad Bird. Unfortunately, as we’re detoured into a clunky road picture involving intrepid kids and banal villains, it's more of a limp GOONIES than a Millennial CLOSE ENCOUNTERS. <br /> <br /> <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GCLEvdwdXwQ/VWAY8qu0jOI/AAAAAAAAnxo/OOlMHziccu4/s1600/Picture%2B3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GCLEvdwdXwQ/VWAY8qu0jOI/AAAAAAAAnxo/OOlMHziccu4/s320/Picture%2B3.png" width="114" /></a>The lead character, Casey Newton, has a “special” gift, especially heightened when she receives that device, allowing her to glimpse into a strange new world, introducing that splendid location teased upon before detouring back on our "filthy" present time. The action sequences are shot well enough, but there’s never a legitimate reason to go from one point to the next. And as Britt Robertson overacts throughout this big budget blockbuster, she's far better suited for sappy melodramas...  <br /> <br /> <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wTiVX-VHOMk/VWAZCUiczQI/AAAAAAAAnxw/OAO4vnxW6hE/s1600/Picture%2B2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wTiVX-VHOMk/VWAZCUiczQI/AAAAAAAAnxw/OAO4vnxW6hE/s320/Picture%2B2.png" width="127" /></a>Not that our A-list George Clooney is that much better. Grumpy and lethargic, when his eccentric former boy genius Frank Walker engages in physical activities, it’s as awkward as the non-chemistry with his young partner – think Doc Brown and Marty McFly, on Valium. And from the very onset, there’s another young girl whose purpose shouldn’t be spoiled… She winds up taking away from what Robertson should have had: a genuine connection with Clooney. Instead, the trio, together during a supposedly pivotal arc, seem like they’re rehearsing for three different movies at the same time… and badly.  <br /> <br /> Calling TOMORROWLAND preachy, as some mainstream critics have had to reluctantly admit, is an understatement – and an insult to films with a more subtle/less overwhelming message intact: not uncommon in the Sci-Fi genre, especially going back to the Atomic Era 50’s. Yet the final doomsday monologue by Hugh Laurie, while reminiscence of Michael Rennie’s anti-nuke lecture at the peak of THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL, is more annoyingly hypocritical (coming from Disney) than overall effective.  <br /> <br /> Too silly to be deep and too complicated to be involving, TOMMOROWLAND doesn't feel especially catered to any particular age group. Basically, director Brad Bird and co-scriptwriter Damon Lindelof have taken us for a long misleading ride. And the irony is... they meant to. <br /> <br /> RATING: *

brit robertson, disney, george clooney, hugh laurie, science-fiction

WEEKEND REVIEW OF TOMORROWLAND

year: 2015 Veiled in sparse, mysterious promotion, TOMORROWLAND is, well, kind of based on the section of Disneyland providing a retro-r...

POLTERGEIST REMAKE THURSDAY REVIEW

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q_ultJhFZHc/VV7GxJ5OaTI/AAAAAAAAnwo/81qiNBsEjhM/s1600/Picture%2B1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q_ultJhFZHc/VV7GxJ5OaTI/AAAAAAAAnwo/81qiNBsEjhM/s200/Picture%2B1.png" width="84" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2015 rating: **</td></tr> </tbody></table> Well there was a theme park ride based on Steven Spielberg’s JAWS, so why not POLTERGEIST? You sit inside a tram connected to winding tracks, rolling through a riveting haunted house. Yet what separates this from any other frantic horror movie rollercoaster of the last decade is an evil clown doll… numerous clowns, actually… and a cute little girl sucked inside the television set. Hi Def, with no Star Spangled Banner. <br /> <br /> Wherein the original had three complete acts, each a fulfilling story in itself, the new POLTERGEIST cuts right to the chase – and it’s only a chase this time around. The family consists of mellow patriarch Sam Rockwell, seeming more like a cool young uncle than a responsible adult; his wife; two curious kids and one bitter teen… just like before. But this suburban fam act like they all just met each other, lacking the ingrown chemistry before the haunting occurs and hardly earning the post-traumatic, devil-may-care attitude after the research staff, led by Jane Adams, moves in to investigate the paranormal emergency. <br /> <br /> <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RF-Ir8fnj-w/VV7HdxHOSDI/AAAAAAAAnw4/-Uym1ikjtlE/s1600/Picture%2B3.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RF-Ir8fnj-w/VV7HdxHOSDI/AAAAAAAAnw4/-Uym1ikjtlE/s200/Picture%2B3.png" width="80" /></a>Like the unnecessary CLOSE ENCOUNTERS Special Edition brought us quickly inside the spaceship, this reboot takes us deeper into the ghoulish depths of the house built on a relocated cemetery. A nice attempt to learn the ingredients of all the bedlam, but without any explanation there’s no purpose to go one step beyond even when the usually-effective Jared Harris (reunited with his HAPPINESS co-star, Adams)… a cross between the original Tangina and Robert Shaw’s grizzled shark hunter… arrives to clean house, literally. <br /> <br /> Not that there isn’t a fair amount of suspenseful jolts. It just wasn’t necessary to remake a cinematic experience that took its time to put the characters, and the audience, through an immense ringer. At a sparse 93-minutes, these people hardly suffer at all. The main clown serves as a cameo. And not long after "They're Here," they're gone.

2015, horror, jane adams, jared harris, sam rockwell

POLTERGEIST REMAKE THURSDAY REVIEW

2015 rating: ** Well there was a theme park ride based on Steven Spielberg’s JAWS, so why not POLTERGEIST? You sit inside a tram connect...

STEVEN SPIELBERG PRESENTS THE ORIGINAL POLTERGEIST

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yYNgwr24hhk/VVqIfV1abHI/AAAAAAAAnsw/n5qIQtzGanA/s1600/1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yYNgwr24hhk/VVqIfV1abHI/AAAAAAAAnsw/n5qIQtzGanA/s320/1.png" width="205" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">year: 1982 rating: ****</td></tr> </tbody></table> Although executive produced and not technically directed by Steven Spielberg, who was busy with E.T. THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL, few projects have perfectly encompassed the successful and groundbreaking filmmakers' style and overall rhythm, while fulfilling his college dream of creating a genuine horror flick, as the iconic POLTERGEIST: beginning with a spooky introduction wherein a television actually… get ready for a shock, millennials… ceases programming late at night following the Star Spangled Banner – the screen becomes "snow" and a little blond girl, Carol Anne, played by the late Heather O’Rourke, is summoned from her bed, puts her hands to the static and utters the famous line…<br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sHi5iM_tKzM/VVqG_cYS6wI/AAAAAAAAnsU/g7G8tHPXK1s/s1600/4.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sHi5iM_tKzM/VVqG_cYS6wI/AAAAAAAAnsU/g7G8tHPXK1s/s320/4.jpg" width="133" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">JoBeth Williams</td></tr> </tbody></table> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div> Well you know that line, and many know the film already…<br /> <br /> A taut combination of at least two horror sub-genres, Haunted House and Paranormal Research, POLTERGEIST exists within the suspenseful collision of either, introducing the family at a newly developed semi rural suburbia, a pivotal character in itself…<br /> <br /> Craig T. Nelson and JoBeth Williams are cool parents of three kids, and only two really matter. Sadly, in real life, a few years before O'Rourke's death, teenage daughter Dominique Dunne, playing the temperamental and eventually absent teenage daughter, was killed by her boyfriend – catapulting the “Poltergeist curse" that unfortunately adds to the overall pop culture spell of the original vehicle and eventual franchise. <br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-19LZ7es64GE/VVqHeLwcICI/AAAAAAAAnsc/t_0ecqZBWQA/s1600/2.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-19LZ7es64GE/VVqHeLwcICI/AAAAAAAAnsc/t_0ecqZBWQA/s320/2.jpg" width="133" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nelson &amp O'Rourke</td></tr> </tbody></table> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> Behind the lens, TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE auteur Tobe Hooper channels Spielberg’s lavish vision, beginning with random odd occurrences that are, by the ex-hippie parentals, mistaken as simply good vibrations at first… that is until Carol Anne vanishes into the television set, and then into the clutches of the house itself, which, by the time professional researchers arrive, has gone completely bonkers… <br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q-vJmnwuZmE/VVqHqU1PtqI/AAAAAAAAnsk/ecw3y8CjlII/s1600/3.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q-vJmnwuZmE/VVqHqU1PtqI/AAAAAAAAnsk/ecw3y8CjlII/s400/3.jpg" width="186" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Send in the Clown</td></tr> </tbody></table> Expository scenes where Beatrice Straight and her two assistants perform a sort of ghostly stakeout within the central living room, as Carol’s voice echoes through the shadowy walls, are both entertaining and educational – also showing how the family has become like seasoned war vets, hardly scared or even skittish after everything that's happened previously: arguably making up the best scenes, free from what would become a bit too much frantic screeching, exist within the mysterious and even humorous 45-minute initial buildup, which includes smoking grass, remote controls, sudden furniture stacking, and a dead parakeet... <br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mvq6IQKWirI/VVqyHNLRcSI/AAAAAAAAntQ/rBQjnhcA_bk/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mvq6IQKWirI/VVqyHNLRcSI/AAAAAAAAntQ/rBQjnhcA_bk/s320/3.jpg" width="162" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No Bozos After This</td></tr> </tbody></table> And there's an underrated horror starlet in JoBeth Williams’ Diane Freeling, keeping a strong connection with her daughter even as scene-stealing, ghost channeling Zelda Rubinstein, as Tangina, a sort of mystic Columbo and the film’s most memorable cult figure, arrives: butting heads with Nelson’s stalwart father/husband Steve while trying to coax Carol Anne towards, and away from, "the Light"...<br /> <br /> But it’s Oliver Robins as young son Robbie Freeling, attacked by his infamous clown doll not long after a nightmarish tree grabs him into a menacing thunderstorm, who goes through the most hellish torture – that’s if you don’t count the guy who pulls his face off under heavy bathroom lights, supplying Tobe Hooper fans a taste of 70’s exploitation smoothly combined with Spielberg’s stylistic vision that earns genuine chills while avoiding cheap thrills, and eventually focuses on not only the house but where it was built, giving the tagline and famous dialogue “They’re here” a deeper meaning since, basically, "they" never left: it's the family that moved in. <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div>

craig t. nelson, eighties, heather o'rourke, horror, steven spielberg

STEVEN SPIELBERG PRESENTS THE ORIGINAL POLTERGEIST

year: 1982 rating: **** Although executive produced and not technically directed by Steven Spielberg, who was busy with E.T. THE EXTRA T...

ANOTHER GOODBYE TO DAVID LETTERMAN

<div style="text-align: left;"> <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9zATmAH6Y2M/VV2Wvf4kB4I/AAAAAAAAntw/mAWxsksw_HM/s1600/Picture%2B1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9zATmAH6Y2M/VV2Wvf4kB4I/AAAAAAAAntw/mAWxsksw_HM/s1600/Picture%2B1.png" /></a></div> David Letterman's final show. He said goodbye after 33-years, which includes both networks... Although for some of us, 11:30 CBS compared to 12:30 NBC was so bright and shiny. Letterman was just too visible. On the old show he sort of blended into the woodwork. And he would actually bomb. More jokes fell flat because he wasn't a polished standup, he was... different. Better than the comics who relied their humor on the quality of the joke itself. Dave's jokes in the old days filtered through an aura of him not caring either way. Skits, too. Then on CBS: suddenly he got huge laughs for every single line, and it was like... he cared. He was suddenly a really famous guy instead of a guy laughing at really famous people. But hey, it was a damn good final show tonight. And the end of an era. Two, actually. And right now, the new late-late host James Corden is doing a couple things at once: bidding farewell to Letterman and, all revved up, imitating Jimmy Fallon. But that's another story. For the Millennials to figure out.<br /> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8JNNgJD441M/VV2dIzxAxYI/AAAAAAAAnuA/ep1K3BHwjU8/s1600/Picture%2B2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="278" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8JNNgJD441M/VV2dIzxAxYI/AAAAAAAAnuA/ep1K3BHwjU8/s640/Picture%2B2.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Robin Williams on Late Nite with David Letterman and below a very unfunny unhappy clown</td></tr> </tbody></table> <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RhCxLr99QPQ" width="420"></iframe>

2015, TV

ANOTHER GOODBYE TO DAVID LETTERMAN

David Letterman's final show. He said goodbye after 33-years, which includes both networks... Although for some of us, 11:30 CBS compa...

JUDD NELSON IN 'MAKING THE GRADE'

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4c8SrFG0XUk/VVk0KMaoCgI/AAAAAAAAnqs/rykSZ7LTISQ/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4c8SrFG0XUk/VVk0KMaoCgI/AAAAAAAAnqs/rykSZ7LTISQ/s200/1.jpg" width="140" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">1984 rating: ***1/2</td></tr> </tbody></table> A year before THE BREAKFAST CLUB made Judd Nelson a star, turning his energetic acting style into a focused study of teenage angst and rebellion, he played a similar character – only his MAKING THE GRADE hero Eddie Keaton break-dances instead of jamming an air guitar Cream riff; his rebellion is catered strictly for humor. Wild on the streets, he owes a bookie, Dice Man, played by Andrew Clay, and winds up taking the place of a spoiled rich kid: attending a prep school whilst hiding from mobsters. <br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NjWnFe2JsIE/VVk0n50gbII/AAAAAAAAnrE/riChbIuvx44/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NjWnFe2JsIE/VVk0n50gbII/AAAAAAAAnrE/riChbIuvx44/s1600/2.jpg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Judd and Jonna</td></tr> </tbody></table> That’s the plot in a nutshell, and GRADE, within this framework, packs a lot of hit and miss humor as well as likable or fitfully unlikable side-characters, throwing everything into the pot: from pratfalls to one-liners to stereotypes to action scenes, and beyond. <br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uDvYAK4aqyw/VVk0vQObl-I/AAAAAAAAnrM/84g6pw2ftug/s1600/3%2B17-35-27.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uDvYAK4aqyw/VVk0vQObl-I/AAAAAAAAnrM/84g6pw2ftug/s1600/3%2B17-35-27.jpg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Judd with Carey Scott</td></tr> </tbody></table> No surprise Nelson plays the part with gusto – though sometimes too much. Yet where Eddie’s urban-hip con artist stuck in the fledgling Preparatory academy tries stealing every scene on board, he’s given an ultimately thankless lead to people like Dana Olsen as, technically, the most important person herein...<br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7TaivnfVV5U/VVk06UarHGI/AAAAAAAAnrU/8EDfQeZ3luQ/s1600/4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7TaivnfVV5U/VVk06UarHGI/AAAAAAAAnrU/8EDfQeZ3luQ/s320/4.jpg" width="146" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Judd as Eddie/Palmer</td></tr> </tbody></table> Olsen's Woodrow Palmer is not only a person, but a name with plot significance – for Eddie becomes Palmer as the real Palmer vanishes through the middle of the story, focusing on the misadventures of the school including a cool slob gym teacher Walter Olkewicz; WKRP big guy Gordon Jump as the passive Dean; Scott McGinnis as a conceited jerk; RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK Peter Lorrie clone Ronald Lacey as Eddie’s New York buddy; and gorgeous ingénue Jonna Lee as Tracey Hoover, whose father has a ton of bread, practically owning the school. <br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nuUtk0SwdW0/VVk1Av_RGhI/AAAAAAAAnrc/o9hMnKsdGP8/s1600/6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nuUtk0SwdW0/VVk1Av_RGhI/AAAAAAAAnrc/o9hMnKsdGP8/s320/6.jpg" width="233" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dana Olsen as the real Palmer</td></tr> </tbody></table> So opposites attract… the poor kid and the rich beauty… Only she doesn’t know he’s poor, and his savvy charm makes her smitten almost right off the bat, deleting any genuine chemistry and leading to overlong scenes between the duo.<br /> <br /> Carey Scott’s Rand is perhaps the most natural character, a resilient geek and the only student who knows Eddie’s, and Palmer’s, true identities: helping the first become a preppy while keeping the other safe from being sought out. Meanwhile, Nelson combats The Dice Man, who moves in with relatively serious threats, and when Dana Olson’s Bill Murray-like slob returns, GRADE hits an ensemble peak where the eventual turnout matters less than all the fun being had: Which, as we learn at the tail end of the credits, was supposed to result in a sequel called TOURISTA. Maybe because Nelson would hit the Brat Pack stratosphere, outshining any zany Golum/Globus produced followup, it never came to pass. And an important note… While Judd was street savvy here and in BREAKFAST CLUB, during the same time he played a dork “weenie” in an early Kevin Costner road flick, FANDANGO, showing his eclectic range as an actor – who, later on, turned out to be an underrated, underused one at that.

comedy, eighties, jonna lee, judd nelson

JUDD NELSON IN 'MAKING THE GRADE'

1984 rating: ***1/2 A year before THE BREAKFAST CLUB made Judd Nelson a star, turning his energetic acting style into a focused study of...

HAPPYISH EPISODE 4 SHARES A COKE WITH MAD MEN

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PupTubN6W4c/VVmflBxl7dI/AAAAAAAAnr0/mO0PfIOR08s/s1600/809875326_8694518cb0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PupTubN6W4c/VVmflBxl7dI/AAAAAAAAnr0/mO0PfIOR08s/s320/809875326_8694518cb0.jpg" width="117" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">E4 Grade: D</td></tr> </tbody></table> The corny yet catchy commercial jingle that some of us grew up on, "I'd like to buy the world a Coke," where a race-uniting of spaced-out hippies sing a peaceful song about a billion dollar corporation's drink made of sugar and syrup for "perfect harmony", is of two-fold significance tonight: ending one show about ad writers and beginning another... <br /> <br /> Thus, forever gone is MAD MEN, and here's a quick writeup of the fourth episode of HAPPYISH titled "Starring Sigmund Freud, Charles Bukowski and Seven Billion A-Holes."<br /> <br /> While Steve Coogan's Thom Payne flipped off God the last time around, now both he and his wife want a spaceship to free them from a vapid world of... happy jerks. And with a side-story involving their brooding son bullied by a mean kid at school, tonight was unfocused, and not very profound. In fact, Bradley Whitford's grouchy Jonathan has deeper insight than Thom, and he's not even trying. Let's just hope that horrendous Coke commercial doesn't make an actual comeback anytime soon. Maybe, like with pop-up ads, the mere sight of it, twice in one night, will seal its fate, permanently.  

2015, cable, steve coogan

HAPPYISH EPISODE 4 SHARES A COKE WITH MAD MEN

E4 Grade: D The corny yet catchy commercial jingle that some of us grew up on, "I'd like to buy the world a Coke," where a...

LOOKING INTO THE WAYWARD PINES PILOT EPISODE

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OY3UyutSHZ4/VVcFaN_TBdI/AAAAAAAAnqA/jxwn25gnDfE/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OY3UyutSHZ4/VVcFaN_TBdI/AAAAAAAAnqA/jxwn25gnDfE/s1600/2.jpg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2015 Grade: C+</td></tr> </tbody></table> Matt Dillon stars in WAYWARD PINES, and how. There’s little left for any other character since his Secret Service Agent Ethan Burke is so desperately alone, and beyond LOST... No not on an island but an idyllic small town ala Norman Rockwell; a sort of Mayberry existing in THE TWILIGHT ZONE. And with genre producer M. Night Shyamalan at the helm, you would think a few surprise elements would appear out of the woodwork – but the twists in this adaptation of someone else’s novel are already built in from the get-go…<br /> <br /> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-smcPbwyIKm8/VVcGB95to5I/AAAAAAAAnqI/m0b2QwK216c/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-smcPbwyIKm8/VVcGB95to5I/AAAAAAAAnqI/m0b2QwK216c/s320/1.jpg" width="124" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Outsider</td></tr> </tbody></table> PINES has been compared to TWIN PEAKS since its very conception, but the Neo Noir aspect of David Lynch’s bizarre mystery is nowhere to be found, really, other than a guy in a stiff suit out of his element. Just a 45-minute setup where we met a few strange people – especially one particular nurse who provides the sole indication that M. Night is involved beyond the pilot’s meticulous direction: she could do a horror movie wonders, and Melissa Leo seems to be having a blast unveiling her creepy, campy, old fashion Alpha Female role.<br /> <br /> The pilot WHERE PARADISE IS HOME cuts back and forth with an injured Dillon… involved in a car crash on the way to investigate missing Secret Service agents, waking up in a sparse hospital without a cell phone… to his hometown where a brooding son and perfect wife stress on the news, while the Agency tries locating his whereabouts, in vain… <br /> <br /> But what only seems to matter, while a bleeding, bruised Dillon trudges around and finds no resources... except for Juliette Lewis's port in the storm... is the final establishing exterior shot that the show’s very own promotion and description already gave away, blunting any mystery that should still be lurking around every shady corner. For in a town as openly strange as WAYWARD PINES, where else is there to go? It almost feels like the magician revealed the trick too soon.

m. night, matt dillon, suspense, TV

LOOKING INTO THE WAYWARD PINES PILOT EPISODE

2015 Grade: C+ Matt Dillon stars in WAYWARD PINES, and how. There’s little left for any other character since his Secret Service Agent E...

GEORGE MILLER DIRECTS MAD MAX: FURY ROAD

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4PtldQ2_6nM/VVWIkcfcvDI/AAAAAAAAnpI/QJRgiFLlTZQ/s1600/Picture%2B1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4PtldQ2_6nM/VVWIkcfcvDI/AAAAAAAAnpI/QJRgiFLlTZQ/s320/Picture%2B1.png" width="186" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">year: <span id="goog_475067870"></span><span id="goog_475067871"></span>2015 rating: *1/2</td></tr> </tbody></table> George Miller’s original MAD MAX films might have broken too much ground since every other <i>barren landscape within a post-Apocalyptic</i> action vehicle is compared to the source – and here’s a reboot by the man himself, perhaps bringing something fresh to the dilapidated table...<br /> <br /> Well the action scenes are done all right, and the direction is quick and tense. But the characters… including MAX himself, cursed with sudden flashbacks to partially explain his brute-like mannerisms and Charlize Theron’s Imperator Furiosa, equally bad ass and a far better driver… are about as important as avatars controlled on a noisy video game.<br /> <br /> The score seems intentionally melodramatic, encapsulating a grandiose old school epic vibe, trying way too hard for genuine cult status – treating our heroes like they’ve earned their thick skin without being fleshed out beyond cool weaponry and nostalgic roots – FURY ROAD actually feels more like a second film following a proper introduction. Meanwhile, the tyrannical main villain looks straight out of a HE-MAN cartoon, and the only hint of a plot evolves around beautiful slaves being protected from his banal wrath.    <br /> <br /> Technically, a ROAD is a particular section of a larger area that takes you down one specific lane, but FURY has too much open space where everything is going on while absolutely nothing happens, back and forth, in either direction. 

2015, action, charlize theron, george miller, reboot, tom hardy

GEORGE MILLER DIRECTS MAD MAX: FURY ROAD

year: 2015 rating: *1/2 George Miller’s original MAD MAX films might have broken too much ground since every other barren landscape with...

MAKING TRAGIC CAMPY NOIR SENSE OF TOMMY WISEAU'S THE ROOM

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3EetNrc6FuM/VUuU826kiNI/AAAAAAAAnj4/lTbyUgS_66M/s1600/Picture%2B2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3EetNrc6FuM/VUuU826kiNI/AAAAAAAAnj4/lTbyUgS_66M/s1600/Picture%2B2.png" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2003 Grade: F Camp Value: A</td></tr> </tbody></table> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> Gotta give credit to writer/director/actor/producer Tommy Wiseau. He paid tribute to Orson Welles from a different source than Fred Flintstone, Bruce Lee, Woody Allen and many others have – for there’s no LADY FROM SHANGHAI trick-mirror homage in THE ROOM, considered the “CITIZEN KANE of bad movies"...<br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eSPN9uQGnqc/VUuVnQAhiUI/AAAAAAAAnkI/Wz7z1UpgQVA/s1600/2c6fb41e-f62e-49c3-8485-dd1a3d95fd8d.PNG" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eSPN9uQGnqc/VUuVnQAhiUI/AAAAAAAAnkI/Wz7z1UpgQVA/s320/2c6fb41e-f62e-49c3-8485-dd1a3d95fd8d.PNG" width="170" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Original Smashing Tantrum</td></tr> </tbody></table> Whether he admits it or not, it’s Charles Foster Kane that Tommy imitates at the end of his disastrously brilliant independent film turned accidental cult phenomenon, destroying the titular pad during his dramatic tantrum caused by betrayal and heartache. And while Orson was beginning what would be a maligned yet brilliant career as a director, actor, and voice-over artist, Tommy Wiseau obviously needed to get himself... including long dyed black hair, a short muscular body and a severely limited acting talent hindered further by what sounds like an Austrian accent... onto the big screen, to simply prove his worth as a cinematic presence since he probably would never be hired otherwise: Make your own ground if you can’t stand on theirs... He was buying the stairway to Hollywood.  <br /> <br /> Thus THE ROOM, if anything else, is more of an attempted Acting Reel for the sake of the leading man… Outright propaganda for Tommy as well as a showcase for his celebrated character, Johnny, a banker who lives in a San Francisco loft with a cheating fiancé, Lisa, played by Juliette Danielle, a sultry vixen with the prowess of an evil femme fatalle, having a steamy affair with Johnny’s Best Friend...<br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pumngWpssB4/VUvw6NPgenI/AAAAAAAAnkg/f8v6zTjM3Ic/s1600/Picture%2B1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pumngWpssB4/VUvw6NPgenI/AAAAAAAAnkg/f8v6zTjM3Ic/s1600/Picture%2B1.png" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Greg Sestero as Mark</td></tr> </tbody></table> Enter the vulnerable male co-lead, Mark, and Greg Sestero looks the most like an actor. The character is a sheepish dolt yet wolfishly cheats with his best friend’s girl, shifting the genuine vulnerability to Wiseau’s Johnny as both dudes share Lisa in abundant sex scenes, taking up a good percentage of screen time – light "porn" without penetration scored by a glossy soundtrack while every scene, sensual or otherwise, provides a gateway of San Fran B-Roll shots that are totally random and hardly Establishing. <br /> <br /> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_2oKhGU_Aao/VUv0l-XUcTI/AAAAAAAAnlY/RveTnVnL7Hw/s1600/Picture%2B1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_2oKhGU_Aao/VUv0l-XUcTI/AAAAAAAAnlY/RveTnVnL7Hw/s200/Picture%2B1.png" width="83" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lisa in hot red</td></tr> </tbody></table> Other characters that fill a... dare it be said... Film Noir template include a young guy (or old boy) with the heart of gold peaking into the dark side, exhibiting a creepy penchant for his mentor’s girl… That being Denny, a pseudo drug-addict who looks around thirty but is a teenager Johnny's paying through college, making random "TV sitcom neighbor" type appearances that further establishes our shaggy hero as an extremely super fella. In fact, Johnny is spoken of endlessly. Even when Tommy “the actor” isn’t on screen, entering and exiting like a stiff muscular "Mollusk" (quoting Rifftraxx), or throwing a football around with his buddies, he’s talked about by Lisa and her food-fetish best girl-friend, her lively dying mother, and of course, her lover i.e. Johnny's guilt-tortured best friend…<br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TQW-00i3lB4/VUvxlrfpoWI/AAAAAAAAnkw/I5lPUVh_tTY/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TQW-00i3lB4/VUvxlrfpoWI/AAAAAAAAnkw/I5lPUVh_tTY/s200/2.jpg" width="175" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Welles as Lime</td></tr> </tbody></table> So when Johnny does breeze in, Wiseau’s East European accent makes the character that much intriguing, bizarre, and undeniably classic. And while Johnny is the main character <i>and</i> the plot-driving, expository McGuffin of his own tepid tale... looking forward to an upcoming wedding and celebrating his surprise birthday party while being cheated on... he’s also his own special guest star throughout, making him more of an anticipated off-screen THIRD MAN Harry Lime than main player Charles Foster Kane: after all the promotion, his eventual input means everything.  <br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-L_F3QnSAvU4/VUvxsvnuGdI/AAAAAAAAnk4/AxCU4etnjuU/s1600/3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-L_F3QnSAvU4/VUvxsvnuGdI/AAAAAAAAnk4/AxCU4etnjuU/s1600/3.png" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Frankly, Lisa..."</td></tr> </tbody></table> Thus, Lisa is really the true leading role: She alone holds all the cards, and is playing the deck in a twisted, cunning, mischievous fashion… Like all evil Noir dames, there’s no limit to her meticulous venom. It might be Johnny’s ROOM, but it’s really Lisa’s agenda-driven ride. In fact, while Tommy's influences border on Orson Welles and James Dean (his words), Lisa, at the very end, becomes a sort of millennial Scarlet O'Hara... Her 11th hour desperation could have led Mark to spout the famous Clark Gable damning farewell, and it would have fit.  <br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0KjT6j4mhr0/VUvx1GyGsSI/AAAAAAAAnlA/Jqmgk-77gkA/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0KjT6j4mhr0/VUvx1GyGsSI/AAAAAAAAnlA/Jqmgk-77gkA/s200/1.jpg" width="161" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Official Room Blu Ray</td></tr> </tbody></table> And so, whatever Wiseau attempted with THE ROOM is unclear. Like the Italian director of TROLL 2, Tommy insists his film was meant for laughs so basically – all this poking-fun-at was intended all along. But it just doesn’t seem like a vehicle that’s <i>in on</i> its own joke and punchline. The extremely serious melodramatic manner in which the actors throw uneven dialogue around, including tormented breakdowns along with an omnipresent heated sexual tension and intense male bonding...<br /> <br /> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UOpvwzdbL0s/VVEqE9NpGuI/AAAAAAAAnok/qjI919OWOtg/s1600/Picture%2B1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UOpvwzdbL0s/VVEqE9NpGuI/AAAAAAAAnok/qjI919OWOtg/s1600/Picture%2B1.png" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Having a Ball</td></tr> </tbody></table> If this were in fact a “black comedy” like the man himself insists, it would not have been this “good” because frankly, there’s nothing funny about THE ROOM; at least not on purpose. Like mentioned earlier, it all seems an outright, contrived attempt to make Wiseau a bonafide movie star; and if that failed than writer, producer, or director credit would do...  <br /> <br /> And perhaps he was trying to tell us something within the story itself, about himself: Greg Sestero’s Mark, the more conventional, better-looking pretty boy, is preferred by Johnny's own fiancé, whom he lives with and will (eventually want to) die for: So maybe Lisa’s character represents the Hollywood industry, preferring the cookie-cutter American babe to a beefy, bizarre Euro stud? Either way, without Tommy Wiseau's insanely original style, and everything else he brings to the table, there would be no ROOM at all. For he not only made this movie, he completely makes it. And we can only hope and pray TW attempts to write another serious art film. So far, he's playing into the wacky costume bestowed upon by his accidental aftermath as a pop culture bad movie court jester. But it's when he tries... way too hard... to be legitimate: therein the true glory lies.   <br /> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oaTcjECpXWw/VUv2K5AuvfI/AAAAAAAAnlo/rQhXKNi__Ek/s1600/Picture%2B2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="170" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oaTcjECpXWw/VUv2K5AuvfI/AAAAAAAAnlo/rQhXKNi__Ek/s640/Picture%2B2.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">From Welles to Wiseau, we celebrate all those brave enough to make a film... <i>any</i> film!</td></tr> </tbody></table> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/aYRydundnt8" width="560"></iframe>

2015, indie

MAKING TRAGIC CAMPY NOIR SENSE OF TOMMY WISEAU'S THE ROOM

2003 Grade: F Camp Value: A Gotta give credit to writer/director/actor/producer Tommy Wiseau. He paid tribute to Orson Welles from a d...

JOHN CARPENTER DIRECTS 'BODY BAGS' ALONG W/ TOBE HOOPER

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1Skwcn0_q4A/VU_RGalXv2I/AAAAAAAAnnY/WtxpGCEyFKc/s1600/BODY-BAGS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="273" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1Skwcn0_q4A/VU_RGalXv2I/AAAAAAAAnnY/WtxpGCEyFKc/s320/BODY-BAGS.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Carpenter's homage to Hooper circa 1993 overall: ***1/2</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> John Carpenter, director of horror classics HALLOWEEN and THE FOG, must have been influenced by TALES FROM THE CRYPT, the anthology series hosted by a longhaired smart-ass skeletal Crypt Keeper that, as The Coroner in a dusty morgue, the lanky Carpenter (donning ghoulish makeup) is fairly reminiscent of...<br /> <br /> And the famous director’s jovially wicked performance seems like he's having fun with family and friends, showing them how the acting bug rubbed off after working with good to great actors and actresses, but he's too self conscious to make the wacky character really work. Although it's a decent enough gimmick to introduce the segment: Seeing each dead body, especially those wrapped in BODY BAGS — which means the cause isn't natural — leads creatively into three cable TV stories… The first vignette, one of two directed by Carpenter himself, is aptly titled...<br /> <br /> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XicYA4ohdcw/XWZjDPCLVTI/AAAAAAABGW8/EfZZdte91hQj7GND4DmPmBzVGwWBmy1ZACLcBGAs/s1600/70125981_772035056559006_6214776973906935808_n.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="509" data-original-width="732" height="277" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XicYA4ohdcw/XWZjDPCLVTI/AAAAAAABGW8/EfZZdte91hQj7GND4DmPmBzVGwWBmy1ZACLcBGAs/s400/70125981_772035056559006_6214776973906935808_n.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u><span style="font-size: small;">1. THE GAS STATION ****</span></u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <span style="font-size: large;"><u>THE GAS STATION</u></span>: Where we center on attractive college-aged employee Peggy (Alex Datcher) on her first night at the self-serve garage, in what seems like the middle of nowhere...<br /> <br /> Handed over by Robert Carradine’s super-friendly Bill, Peggy's shift is full of surprise visitors: customers filling their tanks seen outside the glass  structure. <br /> <br /> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> The thrills rely on whenever Peggy steps out of the safety zone, finding out which of several quirky customers are dangero. Then, when the killer is revealed, the suspense shifts to gruesome and, despite part of the fun being lost, it's still a neat, nifty, contained little ride. Perhaps the best thing Carpenter did in the 1990's, and then he lightens up with...<br /> <br /> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c8sjE7bxtgo/XWZhovAs1lI/AAAAAAABGWg/FjqYhWGJBCIxMEz5Z4rw5G88T9jAwgbvACLcBGAs/s1600/69631798_772060146556497_6898975743879938048_n.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="648" data-original-width="960" height="270" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c8sjE7bxtgo/XWZhovAs1lI/AAAAAAABGWg/FjqYhWGJBCIxMEz5Z4rw5G88T9jAwgbvACLcBGAs/s400/69631798_772060146556497_6898975743879938048_n.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Sheena Easton faces Stacy Keach's bad hair day</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <span style="font-size: large;"><u>HAIR</u></span>: With Stacy Keach as an egotistical middle-aged man trying to stop the inevitable balding process. This is the comic relief segment and also very predictable — when Keach’s Robert finds a successful way of acquiring hair from a cheesy television specialist, played by David Warner, it’s too much a good thing.<br /> <span id="goog_119292035"></span><span id="goog_119292036"></span><br /> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-o3rK4HKZSNA/XWZjho-vl-I/AAAAAAABGXM/1WrvoXYYFesYgyY9QmwL7KYYReOHf4ofwCLcBGAs/s1600/69816311_772060159889829_1960223898528120832_o.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1197" data-original-width="576" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-o3rK4HKZSNA/XWZjho-vl-I/AAAAAAABGXM/1WrvoXYYFesYgyY9QmwL7KYYReOHf4ofwCLcBGAs/s320/69816311_772060159889829_1960223898528120832_o.jpeg" width="153" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u><span style="font-size: small;">2. HAIR ***</span></u></td></tr> </tbody></table> A montage where a jealous Robert watches men, women and dogs with flowing manes, orchestrated by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young’s Almost Cut My Hair, is as good as it gets, and perhaps could have lasted a bit longer for Keach to serve his end results more...<br /> <br /> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> The skit’s wry, satirical humor far exceeds the eventual comeuppance for a character taking a short cut, leading to a “careful what you wish for” twist that's extremely similar to Stephen King's second story from CREEPSHOW where he himself literally gathers moss... <br /> <br /> Also, Keach's girlfriend's so cute (singer Sheena Easton), loving and understanding, it's a wonder he ever needed anything else. Basically, HAIR shows Carpenter's fun side of direction between his dark-comedy acting chops as the show's Master of Ceremonies, and changing gears from slasher to black comedy to psychological thriller, our next and last victim is another unlucky fella in another fitfully and sparsely titled tale called...<br /> <br /> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4vpcTDiAd18/XWZw0jtC5JI/AAAAAAABGY4/k75u_uzQ0n8txDbokmZNUqd08Gu9mHjywCLcBGAs/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2019-08-28%2Bat%2B5.01.39%2BAM.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1013" data-original-width="869" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4vpcTDiAd18/XWZw0jtC5JI/AAAAAAABGY4/k75u_uzQ0n8txDbokmZNUqd08Gu9mHjywCLcBGAs/s200/Screen%2BShot%2B2019-08-28%2Bat%2B5.01.39%2BAM.jpeg" width="171" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u>3. EYE **1/2</u></span></td></tr> </tbody></table> <span style="font-size: large;"><u>EYE</u></span>: Only his situation, losing an eye from a near-fatal car accident, is much more dire and necessary: In order to continue playing professional baseball, Brent Matthews, played by STAR WARS icon Mark Hamill, receives a donor’s eye. Soon he sees horrible images: from a zombie climbing out of his dirt-filled, pool-constructed backyard to bloody arms reaching from the garbage disposal… <br /> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <br /> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4bHS8FAGI80/XV1VbsTSjoI/AAAAAAABGJg/eurDF81pn-AYC8uNwNFCbT0d7IQh123-wCLcBGAs/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2019-08-21%2Bat%2B7.29.44%2BAM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="842" data-original-width="1032" height="261" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4bHS8FAGI80/XV1VbsTSjoI/AAAAAAABGJg/eurDF81pn-AYC8uNwNFCbT0d7IQh123-wCLcBGAs/s320/Screen%2BShot%2B2019-08-21%2Bat%2B7.29.44%2BAM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>John Agar and Roger Corman</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> As EYE continues, STAR WARS legend Mark Hamill becomes more and more edgy and over-the-top, his voice transforming into a Southern preacher while madness gets the best, or rather, the worst of him, acting-wise.<br /> <br /> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DZtU8AcpoIk/XWZpWIKTrEI/AAAAAAABGYI/v_xI32tWzWgbu2oBuIA2M38Spk6c7spcwCLcBGAs/s1600/69290778_772073329888512_4043298043703853056_n.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="749" data-original-width="613" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DZtU8AcpoIk/XWZpWIKTrEI/AAAAAAABGYI/v_xI32tWzWgbu2oBuIA2M38Spk6c7spcwCLcBGAs/s320/69290778_772073329888512_4043298043703853056_n.jpeg" width="261" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Mark Hamill on what was called a payphone</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> Directed Tobe Hooper (with more cameos: which include, as the lead doctor, former b movie actor John Agar along with b producer legend Roger Corman and a a far more obscure Sean McClory from RING OF FEAR as a priest)...<br /> <br /> From the man behind THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE and FUNHOUSE, it's the second scariest after GAS STATION and intentionally the most terrifying on an exploitation cinema level. But since Carpenter's HAIR has a few worthy laughs, EYE is perhaps the dullest overall, dragging at times and while eerie never all that scary and is basically Mark Hamill having more ghastly fun than the audience, which really isn't such a bad thing. And unlike the others, this particular story <i>could have</i> been prolonged into a feature-length film, making it feel like an incomplete movie as opposed to a complete vignette. So while BODY BAGS is no CREEPSHOW (or even CAT'S EYE), it's definitely worth a midnight gander.<br /> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EaGySPTEGwc/XWZrOW75cdI/AAAAAAABGYQ/yzlvQwOJgeIz1Su_u6nfA-p7zzXRbRhUACLcBGAs/s1600/69252849_772081123221066_1524484528452665344_n.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="617" data-original-width="960" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EaGySPTEGwc/XWZrOW75cdI/AAAAAAABGYQ/yzlvQwOJgeIz1Su_u6nfA-p7zzXRbRhUACLcBGAs/s1600/69252849_772081123221066_1524484528452665344_n.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Mark Hamill in Body Bags seqment Eye directed by Tobe Hooper</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JLXHFVuJ1vo/XV1LQv9y4vI/AAAAAAABGIQ/n-98uyqpiYYcIq6gmgaILqWx0hiLJpbzgCLcBGAs/s1600/69183938_767790283650150_2222478265228984320_n.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="568" data-original-width="960" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JLXHFVuJ1vo/XV1LQv9y4vI/AAAAAAABGIQ/n-98uyqpiYYcIq6gmgaILqWx0hiLJpbzgCLcBGAs/s1600/69183938_767790283650150_2222478265228984320_n.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Gas station bathroom artwork in the John Carpenter story THE GAS STATION</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YIp5ho3Psyc/XWZlx5x6E3I/AAAAAAABGXg/o34sNTyxWHQU9yoahp1bO1DG5v1lD-LqgCLcBGAs/s1600/Screen%252BShot%252B2018-09-15%252Bat%252B6.23.06%252BAM.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="982" data-original-width="1600" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YIp5ho3Psyc/XWZlx5x6E3I/AAAAAAABGXg/o34sNTyxWHQU9yoahp1bO1DG5v1lD-LqgCLcBGAs/s1600/Screen%252BShot%252B2018-09-15%252Bat%252B6.23.06%252BAM.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>John Carpenter hosts and directs two of three in Body Bags</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YWUyU8guKyU/XV1NW7N64yI/AAAAAAABGIY/RY6l_ainu6cqLEd-YuZZx3VLn0_SXPnpwCLcBGAs/s1600/69168201_767793863649792_3204267747114483712_n.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="597" data-original-width="960" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YWUyU8guKyU/XV1NW7N64yI/AAAAAAABGIY/RY6l_ainu6cqLEd-YuZZx3VLn0_SXPnpwCLcBGAs/s1600/69168201_767793863649792_3204267747114483712_n.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Lucy Boryer and her perfect asset in THE GAS STATION</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kilceh_UNxs/XWZWaRHBW-I/AAAAAAABGVg/DRL0wr1NlcQp0M6sGiVYpKV18trCR2QpwCLcBGAs/s1600/69570689_772035066559005_7241182889595895808_n.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="576" data-original-width="960" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kilceh_UNxs/XWZWaRHBW-I/AAAAAAABGVg/DRL0wr1NlcQp0M6sGiVYpKV18trCR2QpwCLcBGAs/s1600/69570689_772035066559005_7241182889595895808_n.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Alex Datcher in Body Bags THE GAS STATION facing...</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GIIA8tgrYIM/XWZWaWHtnvI/AAAAAAABGVc/e58VHoD9vaglM_4oDswVACsbQeuL13QVACLcBGAs/s1600/69917236_772035059892339_3951675409048797184_n.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="570" data-original-width="960" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GIIA8tgrYIM/XWZWaWHtnvI/AAAAAAABGVc/e58VHoD9vaglM_4oDswVACsbQeuL13QVACLcBGAs/s1600/69917236_772035059892339_3951675409048797184_n.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Wes Craven craves attention from Alex Datcher in THE GAS STATION</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0VxIglON8J0/W50IXOv0-RI/AAAAAAAA5YU/iUwE-9oW0Fk2nLCgktZWU_D2j0F1yrsRwCLcBGAs/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="555" data-original-width="960" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0VxIglON8J0/W50IXOv0-RI/AAAAAAAA5YU/iUwE-9oW0Fk2nLCgktZWU_D2j0F1yrsRwCLcBGAs/s1600/1.jpg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>"Kiss and make up" says John Carpenter's hybrid of Crypt Keeper and Beetlejuice</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-95oloJ5LsME/W50LOndPIII/AAAAAAAA5Y0/3BWjTM_Ja88yNc_zmzbKC_VJeMBJSxyhwCLcBGAs/s1600/41858675_572210843208096_5590184211039387648_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="635" data-original-width="960" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-95oloJ5LsME/W50LOndPIII/AAAAAAAA5Y0/3BWjTM_Ja88yNc_zmzbKC_VJeMBJSxyhwCLcBGAs/s1600/41858675_572210843208096_5590184211039387648_n.jpg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Deborah Harry and Stacy Keach in Carpenter's second segment HAIR Deborah Harry Body Bags</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zoLl59sN9pc/XV1SJsjNRKI/AAAAAAABGJY/iCnjCCHapeAL-O4JpZE2dKUPNNBfpGexwCLcBGAs/s1600/69170962_767801553649023_4477736403760840704_n.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="535" data-original-width="960" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zoLl59sN9pc/XV1SJsjNRKI/AAAAAAABGJY/iCnjCCHapeAL-O4JpZE2dKUPNNBfpGexwCLcBGAs/s1600/69170962_767801553649023_4477736403760840704_n.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Sheena Easton and Stacy Keach in HAIR by John Carpenter from BODY BAGS</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-38TAdA1NDfg/XWZaO8MyRxI/AAAAAAABGVs/kq3hK2gn3z4mwu6n8kbXUlu4Qd5xpaxgwCLcBGAs/s1600/69689628_772042556558256_7972175199409799168_n.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="551" data-original-width="960" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-38TAdA1NDfg/XWZaO8MyRxI/AAAAAAABGVs/kq3hK2gn3z4mwu6n8kbXUlu4Qd5xpaxgwCLcBGAs/s1600/69689628_772042556558256_7972175199409799168_n.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Alex Datcher with Lucy Boryer in Body Bags: The Gas Station</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nVHvXPqzLyY/XWZcSTbpNKI/AAAAAAABGV0/GC44UKk_6_4eSRUDaUFV25vzisoce-8AwCLcBGAs/s1600/69085712_772049629890882_847680644191354880_n.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="671" data-original-width="908" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nVHvXPqzLyY/XWZcSTbpNKI/AAAAAAABGV0/GC44UKk_6_4eSRUDaUFV25vzisoce-8AwCLcBGAs/s1600/69085712_772049629890882_847680644191354880_n.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Another of Alex Datcher who has the cutest scream queen butt in horror cinema from Body Bags The Gas Station</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tLjrLCyL8Jw/XWZyVjEcNrI/AAAAAAABGZA/b_snupYYpLw9hHQYD9Z_E2RmVRsoJi_HwCLcBGAs/s1600/69644571_772094696553042_6996420958323998720_n.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="656" data-original-width="960" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tLjrLCyL8Jw/XWZyVjEcNrI/AAAAAAABGZA/b_snupYYpLw9hHQYD9Z_E2RmVRsoJi_HwCLcBGAs/s1600/69644571_772094696553042_6996420958323998720_n.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Alex Datcher in THE GAS STATION from John Carpenter's BODY BAGS</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iGqXinjtMec/XWZsYy9AWaI/AAAAAAABGYY/nhpBtwHiUMY_NVYNWIrSTH32cwvvgsPjQCLcBGAs/s1600/69695503_772083573220821_3972804930158198784_n.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="554" data-original-width="960" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iGqXinjtMec/XWZsYy9AWaI/AAAAAAABGYY/nhpBtwHiUMY_NVYNWIrSTH32cwvvgsPjQCLcBGAs/s1600/69695503_772083573220821_3972804930158198784_n.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Mark Hamill and the not so twiggy Twiggy in EYE from Body Bags by Tobe Hooper</u></td></tr> </tbody></table>

alex datcher, david naughton, david warner, horror anthology, john carpenter, mark hamill, nineties, peter jason, robert carradine

JOHN CARPENTER DIRECTS 'BODY BAGS' ALONG W/ TOBE HOOPER

Carpenter's homage to Hooper circa 1993 overall: ***1/2 John Carpenter, director of horror classics HALLOWEEN and THE FOG, must have...