TOM PETTY BOTH ACTS & SINGS IN THE MOTION PICTURE 'FM'

<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Os1ElgBqtzQ/TtXOgPN2LjI/AAAAAAAACx0/CYGgXVZOuvk/s1600/253461.1020.A.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5680673558233493042" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Os1ElgBqtzQ/TtXOgPN2LjI/AAAAAAAACx0/CYGgXVZOuvk/s200/253461.1020.A.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 200px; margin: 0 0 10px 10px; width: 161px;" /></a><b>title:</b> FM<br /> <div> <b>year:</b> 1978</div> <div> <b>cast:</b> Michael Brandon, Martin Mull, Cassie Yates, Tom Petty</div> <div> <b>rating:</b> **1/2</div> <br /> <div> The Steely Dan title song playing as a big orange sun rises above the immense city skyline anticipates heaven for rock fans and "no static at all." During the next twenty minutes, through a handing-off of various turns at the mic... meeting each disc jockey working a radio station playing wall-to-wall music... the good times continue to roll. The likable boss (Michael Brandon), also a DJ, fights to keep the airwaves commercial free, providing the dream radio station "for the people." The tunes are great, the live performances pretty good, and the eclectic cast of DJ's are decent enough: including Martin Mull, Cleavon Little, Cassie Yates, Alex Karras, Eileen Brennan, and guest star (in the movie and the station) Tom Petty as Tom Petty. But the initial spontaneous fun (reminiscent of CAR WASH) is soon marred by a cliche subplot involving villainous corporate goons forcing Army commercials on the station, turning a laidback character-study into typical underdog vs big business fare... and guess who wins?</div>

music, seventies, steely dan, tom petty

TOM PETTY BOTH ACTS & SINGS IN THE MOTION PICTURE 'FM'

title: FM year: 1978 cast: Michael Brandon, Martin Mull, Cassie Yates, Tom Petty rating: **1/2 The Steely Dan title song playi...

THE COENS DIRECT 'A SERIOUS MAN' AND RETURN TO THE SUBTLE

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LfXFC4MUNic/U_P3iMvbv_I/AAAAAAAAhdI/7E3lyK595b0/s1600/MV5BMjAwODUxMjA0M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjIyMzY3Mg%40%40._V1_SX214_AL_.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LfXFC4MUNic/U_P3iMvbv_I/AAAAAAAAhdI/7E3lyK595b0/w296-h400/MV5BMjAwODUxMjA0M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjIyMzY3Mg%40%40._V1_SX214_AL_.jpg" width="296" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">year: 2009 rating: ***1/2</td></tr> </tbody></table> Gotta hand it to the Coen Brothers: after a decade of casting Hollywood bigshots like George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Josh Brolin, they make a small film where the most recognized actor is George Wyner in a quaint 1960's character-study involving a Jewish mathematics teacher, downplayed with intriguing droll by Michael Stuhbarg, going through sheer hell that's more a sluggish purgatory: his wife has just left him, his kids don't respect him, his brother mooches off him, and even the local rabbis can't help in his search for the meaning of life... and why life's treating him so badly.<br /> <br />Although wonderfully filmed, and reminiscent of FARGO with a bevy of quirky, long-faced drones sinking deeper into their own personal abyss, the odd charm peters out and we're left with questions without answers, as well as scenes far too long for their own good, and with little payoff: For instance, the b-story involving Stuhbarg's stoned son preparing for his bar mitzvah, and an ultimately pointless tale about teeth and devil worship. But the first ten minutes, which has nothing to do with the rest of the film... centering on a Yiddish couple in the 19th century visited by a dead man... is perhaps the best and/or most intriguing scene; and a dilemna where an Asian kid wants a paid-off grade is also a standout. All part of this hit-miss journey that's actually, come to think of it, a solid home run compared to the adapted crap they've turned out. In a nutshell, it's best when they write their own stuff, choosing characters over actors. <br />

2009, coen brothers, counter culture, dark comedy, george wyner, michael stuhlbarg, zeroes

THE COENS DIRECT 'A SERIOUS MAN' AND RETURN TO THE SUBTLE

year: 2009 rating: ***1/2 Gotta hand it to the Coen Brothers: after a decade of casting Hollywood bigshots like George Clooney, Brad Pit...

GIBSON, RUSSELL & PHEIFFER IN TEQUILA SUNRISE

<div style="text-align: left;"> </div> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Q9Ce3Jos_AM/VMTlI4yJp6I/AAAAAAAAmVo/q28b6kmnHtY/s1600/175px-Tequila-sunrise1988.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Q9Ce3Jos_AM/VMTlI4yJp6I/AAAAAAAAmVo/q28b6kmnHtY/s1600/175px-Tequila-sunrise1988.jpg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">1988 rating: ***</td></tr> </tbody></table> Anyone thinking this will be a corny movie involving three great looking people in a steamy crime melodrama dealing with a predictable love triangle, like the poster implies, you’re only half right...<br /> <br /> Written and directed by Robert Towne, who penned CHINATOWN, arguably the greatest original script-to-film ever made, this starts out all right: building enough suspense and interesting characters through tight dialogue, making you wonder who Mel Gibson, as an infamous L.A. drug pusher, is waiting to connect with as Kurt Russell, playing his high school friend who's a detective, and Michelle Pheiffer, as a restaurant owner, are caught in-between: Gibson, who swears he's gone straight, plays down as a guy being watched by everyone: from the feds to junkies to other dealers.<br /> <br /> Kurt Russell provides an effective counterbalance as the good cop (especially compared to seedy agent J.T. Walsh) with the hots for Pheiffer, who eventually realizes she’s in love with Gibson: and your typical steamy love scene ensues. This, along with searing saxophone riffs heard in every eighties cop film, turns an involving dialog-driven plot into soap operatic fare… yet a tense vibe remains that’ll keep you locked in till the end. And it could have used a better, more fitting title.

cop, eighties, kurt russell, mel gibsin, melodrama, michelle pheiffer, neo noir, robert towne

GIBSON, RUSSELL & PHEIFFER IN TEQUILA SUNRISE

1988 rating: *** Anyone thinking this will be a corny movie involving three great looking people in a steamy crime melodrama dealing w...

ARTHUR CHRISTMAS

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-owk6tDMBhsE/TtMqqmC4qVI/AAAAAAAACn8/5T5nd-HDTpM/s1600/arthur-christmas-movie-poster-teaser-01.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 141px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-owk6tDMBhsE/TtMqqmC4qVI/AAAAAAAACn8/5T5nd-HDTpM/s200/arthur-christmas-movie-poster-teaser-01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679930466299849042" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">title:</span> ARTHUR CHRISTMAS<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">year:</span> 2011<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">voices:</span> Bill Nighy, James McAvoy, Hugh Laurie, Jim Broadbent<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">rating: </span>***<br /><br />In the spirit of those great Rankin/Bass Christmas movies like RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER and FROSTY THE SNOWMAN comes ARTHUR CHRISTMAS, and while it’s computer animated, the film has the vibe of the stop-motion stuff of yesteryear. The place is the North Pole, and Santa Claus doesn’t use a sled with reindeer any longer. Instead there’s a giant space ship with tons of “Elf Ninjas” who have it all down to a science: every good kid is counted for. But something goes wrong and one child's left out. Just happens to be the same little girl who’s letter touched Santa’s youngest son’s heart… His name is Arthur Christmas, he’s a clumsy slacker and is degraded to reading letters for pop. And while Santa and the oldest militaristic son, in line for the big white beard the following season, call it a night: Santa’s father, the last of the sled riding Claus's, takes a forlorn but dedicated Arthur on a retro journey to deliver the girl’s bike before sunup. Till then a whole lot happens and the suspense keeps building to the very finish. And despite pockets of downtime with too much exposition, and some intricate British humor that might fly by youngsters, this has a good (if forced) message: no kids are to be left behind. And beware anyone over eleven years old: instead of an animated short there's a video of Justin Beiber singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town." And if you could imagine how bad this is… it’s even worse. Thank goodness the film makes up for it till the end credits and the song repeats, reminding you of that nightmare all over again.

animated, children, tens

ARTHUR CHRISTMAS

title: ARTHUR CHRISTMAS year: 2011 voices: Bill Nighy, James McAvoy, Hugh Laurie, Jim Broadbent rating: *** In the spirit of those great ...

THE MUPPETS

<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rHP46OK3gjs/TtGZo22m9OI/AAAAAAAACks/S9UVCgtJ7E8/s1600/kermit-the-frog-in-the-muppets-2011.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679489532289283298" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rHP46OK3gjs/TtGZo22m9OI/AAAAAAAACks/S9UVCgtJ7E8/s200/kermit-the-frog-in-the-muppets-2011.jpg" style="float: right; height: 200px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 178px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">title:</span> THE MUPPETS<br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">year: </span>2011<br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">cast:</span> Jason Segel, The Muppets<br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">rating:</span> **<br /> <br /> The Muppets brought a generation of youngsters (myself included) out of Sesame Street and into a world where they didn’t feel like airhead children any longer. With THE MUPPET MOVIE, Kermit, Fozzie, Miss Piggy and the gang discovered each other on a cross-country adventure that was a true odyssey. But here we’ve mentally gone back to Sesame Street with some silly sing-alongs, flat jokes, and an unexciting journey out of a small town where resides Jason Segel, his school teacher girlfriend, and a puppet named Walter who loves watching – and relating to – the original TV series. They decide to take a trip to the Muppet studio, but it’s but a wasteland. And here they discover a greedy oilman wants to turn the dilapidated theater into his very own goldmine.<br /> <br /> The trio find a melancholy Kermit and they head off to collect the remaining group throughout America and Europe. Thus the road trip begins, which could have (should have) taken most of the film like the original, but it’s but a fifteen-minute rushed romp where not much happens, leading to a big show where the Muppets have to raise ten million dollars to save their studio.<br /> <br /> The Muppets themselves are all present, but they don’t do much nor are they individually vital to the story – but then again, there’s not much of a story to begin with. The fundraiser is a rushed montage of skits lacking what THE MUPPET SHOW had in creativity and humor. As for star/producer Jason Segel, whose effort to get the Muppets back together has merit, the result is too banal for what these characters, and their audience, truly deserve. The entire film centers on the long-lost nostalgia of the Muppets during the late seventies/early eighties, forgetting the movies made after the death of Jim Henson, which might have explained their departure. But perhaps Segel wanted to only remember the golden era; it's too bad he failed to recreate it.

jack black, jason segel, tens

THE MUPPETS

title: THE MUPPETS year: 2011 cast: Jason Segel, The Muppets rating: ** The Muppets brought a generation of youngsters (myself inclu...

GEORGE CLOONEY IN ALEXANDER PAYNE'S 'THE DESCENDANTS'

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jUuw66INwe0/XuOIDf2VBwI/AAAAAAABVBo/zuNau2ZkY_0P3c39vwRBwoqGEdxJQBoiACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/103805011_992499641179212_4757232546747682020_n%2B2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="599" data-original-width="774" height="308" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jUuw66INwe0/XuOIDf2VBwI/AAAAAAABVBo/zuNau2ZkY_0P3c39vwRBwoqGEdxJQBoiACLcBGAsYHQ/s400/103805011_992499641179212_4757232546747682020_n%2B2.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Shailene Woodley and Amara Miller in The Descendants Year: 2011</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> The first five minutes, through narration, sets up the main character Matt King as a person anyone can relate with. Of course he’s not: being the heir of an abundance of land in Hawaii dating back to the early settlers. But he’s a simple, honest man with a lot going on: including an upcoming sale that would make good for himself and his unlucky cousins...<br /> <br /> But this is just the core of a film that's not so complicated as King’s wife, in a coma after a boating accident, has left him with the sole responsibility of two daughters, both hard pressed to shun their busy and neglectful dad. George Clooney's acting, wearing the put-upon haggardness of a man who, despite having everything, feels his life has little value, is great – not only when he tears up or shows emotion, but when he holds back... And with gray hair he's playing slightly older, and isn't about good looks...<br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3sbrkMrW5No/XuOG-bljnjI/AAAAAAABVBU/CHQt_FMiAAg9eXkKoQPCEfl0iAXlvd65ACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/103293838_992499634512546_3790058351740492375_n%2B2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="462" data-original-width="510" height="361" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3sbrkMrW5No/XuOG-bljnjI/AAAAAAABVBU/CHQt_FMiAAg9eXkKoQPCEfl0iAXlvd65ACLcBGAsYHQ/s400/103293838_992499634512546_3790058351740492375_n%2B2.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>George Clooney in The Descendants Rating: ****</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <div style="text-align: left;"> </div> Speaking of... Shailene Woodley as the rebellious oldest daughter Alexandra keeps him on his toes: especially after dropping the bombshell that her mom/his wife had cheated before the accident. So Matt, the kids, and Alexandra’s slacker boyfriend go in search of a mysterious real estate agent i.e. the guy who cheated with mom. And here’s where the plot thickens and the audience has something to anticipate other than an inevitable death or the closing of a land deal...<br /> <br /> Using addictive elements of melodramas and soap operas while keeping an underlying dry wit throughout, it's a story that aims for sheer realism with terrific results, and best yet, gorgeous shots of Hawaii that, like the California Wine Country in director Alexander Payne's SIDEWAYS and middle America in ABOUT SCHMIDT, is a character in itself. And veteran actors Robert Forster, as King’s curmudgeon step-dad, and Beau Bridges as a seemingly friendly cousin, add to ensemble cast that’s so down to earth, you’ll forget they're in a movie.<br /> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yrFYmuziJ1w/XuOLeBg0aXI/AAAAAAABVB4/9yBej3edo_M8yrDCK1G4uvXgnMqLCtcEgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/102972973_992509721178204_3915595816490567309_o.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="618" data-original-width="1417" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yrFYmuziJ1w/XuOLeBg0aXI/AAAAAAABVB4/9yBej3edo_M8yrDCK1G4uvXgnMqLCtcEgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/102972973_992509721178204_3915595816490567309_o.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Shailene Woodley, George Clooney, Barbara L. Southern and Robert Forster in The Descendants</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div>

alexander payne, beach, dark comedy, drama, george clooney, hawaii, laird hamilton, oscar nominated 2011, robert forster, shailene woodley, tens

GEORGE CLOONEY IN ALEXANDER PAYNE'S 'THE DESCENDANTS'

Shailene Woodley and Amara Miller in The Descendants Year: 2011 The first five minutes, through narration, sets up the main character Ma...

HUGO

<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-g8GjTGnDjSI/Ts88smpi9RI/AAAAAAAACkI/NeNymdy-70Q/s1600/hugo-2011-movie.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5678824392124200210" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-g8GjTGnDjSI/Ts88smpi9RI/AAAAAAAACkI/NeNymdy-70Q/s200/hugo-2011-movie.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 200px; margin: 0 0 10px 10px; width: 178px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">title: </span>HUGO<br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">year:</span> 2011<br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">cast: </span>Asa Butterfield, Chloë Grace Moretz, Sacha Baron Cohen<br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">rating:</span> **1/2<br /> <br /> If you wonder why Martin Scorsese (delving into Tim Burton territory) chose to direct a “children’s story” of a young orphan living inside of – and surreptitiously working the clocks of – a tower in a Paris train station… just wait for the second half: when the somewhat slow-paced but beautifully shot contained journey turns into a whimsical celebration of one of the greatest innovators of cinema. But that’s another story – making this feel like two tales in one. The first has our young hero, straight out of a Dickens novel, named Hugo Cabret with only the memories of his deceased father, who left behind an automaton robot that needs a heart-shaped key to make it run: perhaps providing a message from beyond. Enter the granddaughter of an old and bitter toy dealer; she has the key needed – but leading to this point is a somewhat thin story stretched out too long. On the peripheral, and making up the comedy, action, and suspense is the station inspector played by Sacha Baron Cohen, doing a somewhat tongue-in-cheek nod to clumsy silent film antagonists. With a Doberman at his side, the lone keystone cop strives to catch the young tinkerer: whose only goal is to get that automaton working. Then the second half – after a crucial discovery – is where Scorsese’s true aim lies. But with the built-up mystery gone, the youthful awe is only partially replaced by a cinematic history lesson more dreamlike than fact based, although the nostalgic aura can be infectious. The young star Asa Butterfield, with sad eyes and a curiously insightful expression, while looking the part makes for a somewhat bland title character. But it’s Chloë Grace Moretz, as his lovely young sidekick, that not only brightens the film with her tremendous acting but whose bookworm dreamer yearns for adventure more than Scorsese's film delivers it. Yet despite the flaws, there's enough residual magic for (creative) kids and (patient) adults to enjoy.

martin scorsese, oscar nominated 2012, sacha baron cohen, tens

HUGO

title: HUGO year: 2011 cast: Asa Butterfield, Chloë Grace Moretz, Sacha Baron Cohen rating: **1/2 If you wonder why Martin Scorsese (...

VANNA WHITE IS THE GODDESS OF LOVE

<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XzHDYEOB2Xw/TsswctVB2FI/AAAAAAAACjk/ZaeJos7zf90/s1600/Picture_4.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XzHDYEOB2Xw/TsswctVB2FI/AAAAAAAACjk/ZaeJos7zf90/s200/Picture_4.JPG" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5677685024992909394" style="float: right; height: 180px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #cccccc;"><span style="color: #073763;"><b>1988 rating: ***</b></span></span></td></tr> </tbody></table> Well you can't get any worse than this. Then again, you can't get any better than this any worse. Make sense?<br /> <br /> Oh well, either does a TV movie centering on Venus, the goddess of Love, banished from the clouds and sent to Earth and, after a Venus statue's been stolen by two goofy thieves, it comes to life after hairdresser David <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Naughton</span> unwittingly puts his wedding ring on the stone finger.<br /> <br /> The impending ceremony to Amanda Beasley might provide difficult... <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Naughton's</span> got Venus for eternity, and she won't let him go.<br /> <br /> Vanna White, the WHEEL OF FORTUNE <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">blonde</span> playing the title role, can't act very well; but perhaps she speaks in a deliberate monotone because she's not of this world (obviously intended as a handicap). Bad movie fans might want to see this just for the banal attempt to make White a movie star. Although halfway through, her performance actually starts improving – perhaps <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Naughton</span>, who was brilliant in AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, rubbed off on her a bit.<br /> <br /> The best scenes involve the main characters at odds with each other and/or Venus adapting to civilization. But things gets clumsy when the thieves, and the local police, move in: making an actual plot (or resolution thereof) seem completely unnecessary.

amanda bearse, comedy, david naughton, eighties, tv movie

VANNA WHITE IS THE GODDESS OF LOVE

1988 rating: *** Well you can't get any worse than this. Then again, you can't get any better than this any worse. Make sense? ...

PAUL

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EQ2EstNM8cY/Ts0ZiFPFoRI/AAAAAAAACj8/pXWO3Q9neCI/s1600/2011_paul_wallpaper_004.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 153px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EQ2EstNM8cY/Ts0ZiFPFoRI/AAAAAAAACj8/pXWO3Q9neCI/s200/2011_paul_wallpaper_004.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5678222778495770898" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">title:</span> PAUL<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">year:</span> 2011<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">cast:</span> Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">rating:</span> **<br /><br />Oh if only our two geeky protagonists never ran into that stupid alien, voiced so humanlike by the always contented with his own lazy rhythm Seth Rogen that, instead of seeming like a real character, he's simply… Seth Rogen voicing a computerized alien. The first twenty minutes is fantastic as a long-haired, overweight, fledgling science-fiction writer named Clive, and his laidback, balding sidekick Graeme… both native Englanders… visit Comic Con in Middle America and then venture in an RV to Area 51 to rekindle their nerdish origins. The entire purpose for the road trip is a honeymoon for geeks: renewing a marriage to science fiction, and the audience takes part. A few stops along the way, showing the non-dynamic duo at odds with rednecks, and going back and forth with each other like dudes who’ve known each other forever, are fun and natural. And then they find Paul (or vice versa), an escaped alien set up during the intro – whose spaceship landed on a dog with the same name in the 1950s. This is where the real story begins and the movie, though wielding decent action-based chase scenes and introducing three likeable yet villainous federal agents, goes to pot. Seth Rogen’s not only the wrong person for the alien’s voice, sounding like a long-lost fraternity brother… farting, drinking, smoking, swearing, and railing against the only religion Hollywood’s allowed to bag on… but his forced, bitterly cocky aura takes away from the film's charming premise. And Kristen Wiig as a redneck religious fanatic, so cartoonishly exaggerated in her faith that she’s begging to be talked out of it, adds more to the writer’s blatant contempt for something he hasn’t the patience to tolerate. Yet there are some cool nods to Lucas’s STAR WARS and the films of Steven Spielberg, the latter providing a special voice cameo. Perhaps he'd have made a better Paul!

comedy, science-fiction, seth rogan, tens

PAUL

title: PAUL year: 2011 cast: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig rating: ** Oh if only our two geeky protagonists never ran...

HAPPY FEET 2

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GIsDCTbKu-Q/TsigS38b9JI/AAAAAAAACjY/drhtyFtNKdA/s1600/Happy%252BFeet%252B2.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 154px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GIsDCTbKu-Q/TsigS38b9JI/AAAAAAAACjY/drhtyFtNKdA/s200/Happy%252BFeet%252B2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5676963576416040082" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">title: </span>HAPPY FEET 2<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">year:</span> 2011<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">voices:</span> Robin Williams, Elijah Wood, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">rating: </span>**<br /><br />There’s a wee bit of actual adventure as a few brave penguins, when they’re not singing popular pop tunes and dancing, venture off to save their world – these are the best parts of the movie. And although the tunes are the purpose for a musical involving penguins, the songs and the frolicking get downright annoying. Our new hero is the son of Mumble and Gloria, Erik... with a voice so cutesy you’ll want to squeeze the cheeks of the theater screen (or else punch the heck out of it). He lacks confidence and can’t dance, but these are the least of his problems. The ice caps are melting (inverted political message) and the penguin city is trapped – and it’s up to Mumble and Erik to save the day. Peripheral characters include a flying penguin who’s become a counterfeit messiah to the race and his flamboyant spokesman: both part of a backstory weird enough to confuse even Rod Serling’s children. And beneath the water... involving the best special effects, especially in 3D whenever whales appear... are two whining Krill (Brad Pitt and Matt Damon, sounding like themselves) who yearn to be independent from the vast herd – eventually realizing they might be headed for Brokeback Mountain. It’s Robin Williams’s mohawked underdog penguin Ramon who makes the movie; it’s too bad he’s hardly in it at all. What's needed is a fuller story and more places to go. Although young kids... really, really young kids... will enjoy themselves.

animated, brad pitt, george miller, matt damon, robin williams

HAPPY FEET 2

title: HAPPY FEET 2 year: 2011 voices: Robin Williams, Elijah Wood, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon rating: ** There’s a wee bit of actual adventure...

WE RELOCATED THE ORIGINAL FRIGHT NIGHT

<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VsBkO1ejtSs/URGFDhkxQqI/AAAAAAAAWAM/siQ7frf7S5c/s1600/fright+night+amanda.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VsBkO1ejtSs/URGFDhkxQqI/AAAAAAAAWAM/siQ7frf7S5c/s640/fright+night+amanda.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.cultfilmfreaks.com/2017/10/FN.html">CLICK HERE TO WHERE WE MOVED THE NEW REVIEW</a></td></tr> </tbody></table> <br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Q_ZIl-Mh9G0/VhzNwwMQddI/AAAAAAAApcA/XLdNrh2Qljs/s1600/Screen%2Bshot%2B2015-10-13%2Bat%2B2.25.41%2BAM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Q_ZIl-Mh9G0/VhzNwwMQddI/AAAAAAAApcA/XLdNrh2Qljs/s320/Screen%2Bshot%2B2015-10-13%2Bat%2B2.25.41%2BAM.png" width="247" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.cultfilmfreaks.com/2017/10/FN.html">CLICK FOR NEW REVIEW</a></td></tr> </tbody></table> <br /> <br />

amanda bearse, eighties, horror, roddy mcdowall

WE RELOCATED THE ORIGINAL FRIGHT NIGHT

CLICK HERE TO WHERE WE MOVED THE NEW REVIEW CLICK FOR NEW REVIEW

CHEERLEADERS WILD WEEKEND

<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bU2JeyVd3SY/TrzNNUH3ZnI/AAAAAAAACg0/XxToCnCxG7s/s1600/391685_145303855569347_143718382394561_148787_675286006_n.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 188px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bU2JeyVd3SY/TrzNNUH3ZnI/AAAAAAAACg0/XxToCnCxG7s/s200/391685_145303855569347_143718382394561_148787_675286006_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5673635259203675762" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">title:</span> CHEERLEADERS WILD WEEKEND<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">year: </span>1977<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">cast: </span>Jason Williams, Kristine DeBell, Anthony Williams, Leon Isaac Kennedy<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">rating: </span><span>**1/2</span><br /><br />Originally (and more fitfully) titled THE GREAT AMERICAN GIRL ROBBERY, here’s a low-low budget 70’s exploitation that’s one of a kind… make that two of a kind. Featuring Kristine DeBell and starring, written and produced by FLESH GORDON’s Jason Williams, here’s a nearly forgotten flick about three rival cheerleader squads, who, while on their way to a <span style="font-style: italic;">wild weekend</span>, are kidnapped by terrorists: an eclectic group led by Williams as a has-been football player joined by his passive brother and a tough lesbian. But it’s Anthony Lewis as an African American bully who really takes charge, in one scene threatening to show his “Salami” (pronounced “Soul-ami) to any girl willing or unwilling. The screaming vixens writhe around on the floor, making up most of the film: naked, frantic cheerleaders in a claustrophobic cabin (except DeBell, who refused to do nudity and only shows up when the plot – as it were – thickens). One scene involving Williams having a football flashback while scoring the ransom is actually creative, and the acting’s better than most movies of this ilk. Williams and Lewis make worthy antagonists while DeBell, on the verge of a real career in movies like MEATBALLS, is more than just eye-candy. And PENITENTIARY icon Leon Isaac Kennedy plays a DJ used as a patsy to make sure that something happens concerning the plot, which, when stuck in a film about sweaty cheerleaders being held hostage, doesn’t matter anyway. (And join The <a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);" href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kristine-DeBell-Official-Fan-Page/143718382394561?sk=wall">Official Kristine DeBell fan page</a> on Facebook, which includes photographs, videos, and more.)

blaxploitation, exploitation, kristine debell, seventies

CHEERLEADERS WILD WEEKEND

title: CHEERLEADERS WILD WEEKEND year: 1977 cast: Jason Williams, Kristine DeBell, Anthony Williams, Leon Isaac Kennedy rating: **1/2 Origi...

J. EDGAR

<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ANQ8ZBkcFeo/Tr30yGellYI/AAAAAAAAChM/E_cXkBTvauw/s1600/tumblr_ln5yf5y8ez1qfo293.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 138px; height: 200px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ANQ8ZBkcFeo/Tr30yGellYI/AAAAAAAAChM/E_cXkBTvauw/s200/tumblr_ln5yf5y8ez1qfo293.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5673960247126234498" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">title:</span> J. EDGAR<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">year:</span> 2011<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">cast:</span> Leonardo DiCaprio, Naomi Watts, Armie Hammer, Ken Howard<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">rating:</span> *<br /><br />Never has a movie trailer been so deceiving, teasing an epic biographical drama about the rise and fall of a powerful man with secrets that ruined him. But there’s no rise to merit a fall… or much of anything else for that matter. Leonardo DiCaprio, playing J. Edgar Hoover, bounces from one boring scene (and/or time period) to the next… displaying no qualities of a person who, although flawed and now considered a joke, did make an impact. His innovations in fingerprinting, and the climb from a snoopy young agent to the head of the F.B.I., are treated as importantly as a midnight snack. And the only revelations are that he loved his mother and was a closeted homosexual, but even these stories play out like bad soaps. Segments following taut historical situations, like the Lindbergh kidnapping, build no suspense – leading only to Hoover screwing things up: time and time again. And most of the side-characters, from biographers to politicians to fellow agents to his closest friends, are used merely as counterpoint-mouthpieces: questioning everything Hoover says just in case the audience can’t figure out each lie on their own. DiCaprio is far better here than THE AVIATOR, where he was completely miscast playing a grownup. With desperate, narrowed eyes fervently seeking purpose, he does <span style="font-style: italic;">try</span> hard... even in the fake looking old man makeup… but with a script so lacking of any personal or historical significance, it feels like he’s treading water. But the worst crime, exceeding the fact most of the dialog occurs between two people who'd never reveal these conversations, is the dull direction by Clint Eastwood, who should either retire or go back to making action movies, because this clunker has no pulse whatsoever.

biopic, clint eastwood, leonardo dicaprio, tens

J. EDGAR

title: J. EDGAR year: 2011 cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Naomi Watts, Armie Hammer, Ken Howard rating: * Never has a movie trailer been so d...

MEATBALLS

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-v-TbUX5jVM0/TsI4v4Hr1XI/AAAAAAAACiU/CTRlFk5zfa0/s1600/297219_143766609056405_143718382394561_144828_827558372_n.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 189px; height: 200px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-v-TbUX5jVM0/TsI4v4Hr1XI/AAAAAAAACiU/CTRlFk5zfa0/s200/297219_143766609056405_143718382394561_144828_827558372_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5675160875609871730" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">title: </span>MEATBALLS<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">year:</span> 1979<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">cast: </span>Bill Murray, Harvey Atkin, Kristine DeBell, Jack Blum<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">rating:</span> ***1/2<br /><br />Before Bill Murray and director Ivan Reitman joined the army or battled ghosts, they spent a summer at the underdog arsenal, Camp North Star. Made during his last season on SNL, this is Murray’s ANIMAL HOUSE, but here he’s both Bluto (the party hound) and Otter (the charmer) at the same time: playing "Tripper," a lovable slob who heads up the C.I.T.’s – Counselor in Training... youngsters making up the heart of the film much like the caddies in co-writer Harold Ramis's CADDYSHACK. These include mostly Canadian actors like Jack Blum and Keith Knight as Spaz and Fink, both epitomizing a geek and a slob and possibly the greatest duo ever. While two young American actors, <a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);" href="http://morecultfilmfreak.blogspot.com/2010/02/kristine-de-bell-meatballs.html">Kristine DeBell</a> and Todd Hoffman, help fill the young-lover aspect – teenagers reminiscent of people we grew up with (not to forget Matt Craven, who'd go onto many other projects). And that’s the charm of this film – these kids are the real deal: but it’s Murray’s performance that keeps everyone in check. And while Tripper's bond with troubled camper Chris Makepeace is sweet, and gives Bill a chance to really act, the scenes go on a bit too long. But no matter, this is a classic comedy that’s much more than goofing off – and there's tons of that too: only here it all means something. (And join the <a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);" href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kristine-DeBell-Official-Fan-Page/143718382394561?sk=wall">Official Kristine DeBell Fan Page</a> on Facebook for pictures, videos, and more.)

bill murray, comedy, kristine debell, seventies

MEATBALLS

title: MEATBALLS year: 1979 cast: Bill Murray, Harvey Atkin, Kristine DeBell, Jack Blum rating: ***1/2 Before Bill Murray and director Iva...

IMMORTALS

<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NQ2KuLi3Slw/TsB6prPtJ5I/AAAAAAAACiI/IFIIrpQ2nIA/s1600/4.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5674670386888648594" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NQ2KuLi3Slw/TsB6prPtJ5I/AAAAAAAACiI/IFIIrpQ2nIA/s200/4.jpg" style="float: right; height: 220px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; width: 119px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">title:</span> IMMORTALS<br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">year: </span>2011<br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">cast: </span>Henry Cavill, John Hurt, Stephen Dorff<br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">rating:</span> *1/2<br /> <br /> While it’s common for gladiator movies to have people looking like they’re straight from a modeling agency, never has one been so replete with perfectly chiseled male and female supermodels seeming fresh from a personal training session. But the problem is the setting; basically a mountaintop where there’s never any sense of adventure i.e. our heroes have nowhere else to go.<br /> <br /> The plot has evil King Hyperion, played by a grisly Mickey Roarke in scarred, distracting makeup, seeking an important weapon in order to free the titans, which would then cause… bad stuff to happen. Which it does, but only the third act harbors any sort of meaningful battle – although with so many men fighting at once, it’s never personal enough to merit our hero Theseus (Henry Cavill) as being any more than a skillful warrior in a video game.<br /> <br /> The other characters are one-dimensional and dull, including posturing beauty Frieda Pinto as the virginal "McGuffin" (a device driving the plot that no one pays attention to) and John Hurt as a narrating old man who turns into a young Zeus – yet another G.Q. pinup.<br /> <br /> Stephen Dorff’s Stavros is almost interesting – a cocky antihero the likes of Han Solo – but he soon becomes part of the vicious blender of gory C.G.I. that’s too over-the-top to look realistic, happening amongst quick-paced MATRIX style slow-motion karate... raising the question: When and where did this ancient race study Bruce Lee films?<br /> <br /> So here’s yet another movie about gods and titans taking itself way too seriously: the thunderous soundtrack and explosive effects outshining the characters, who, lacking any real depth, motivation, or purpose, seem like shiny pieces on an overpriced chessboard.

fantasy, freida pinto, john hurt, mickey rourke, stephen dorff, stephen mchattie, tens

IMMORTALS

title: IMMORTALS year: 2011 cast: Henry Cavill, John Hurt, Stephen Dorff rating: *1/2 While it’s common for gladiator movies to have ...

JACK AND JILL

<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S_3rxvl6NXY/Tr8QJX52oMI/AAAAAAAAChk/v994ufbbGLY/s1600/jack.and.jill.columbia.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" height="400" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5674271808731652290" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S_3rxvl6NXY/Tr8QJX52oMI/AAAAAAAAChk/v994ufbbGLY/s400/jack.and.jill.columbia.jpg" style="float: right; height: 200px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 196px;" width="392" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">title:</span> JACK AND JILL<br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">year: </span>2011<br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">cast: </span>Adam Sandler, Al Pacino<br /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">rating: </span>**<br /> <br /> Does it even need to be said that Adam Sandler playing his own sister would make an awful movie? It’s pretty obvious, being that this particular gimmick is an indication that a sitcom's run out of ideas – which this plays out like: a pilot that’d be cancelled in a flash. And does it have to be said that Al Pacino, playing "himself" with the hots for Adam Sandler in drag, is blasphemous to classic filmgoers?<br /> <br /> For anyone who thinks Al merely provides a cameo, he’s one of the main characters. Scenes involving the iconic actor dating Jill, the twin sister of TV director Jack… who really wants Pacino to star in a donut commercial… are about as bad as things get. But worst of all: it’s not even fun to bag on. While a few one-liners involving Jill spouting politically-incorrect statements aren’t completely without merit, and there's a so-bad-it's-entertaining aspect during the first half, the rest of the film, as a melancholy score evokes sympathy for her subliminally lonesome character, is an uneven mess.The locations involving Jill ruining Jack’s existence on a prolonged holiday visit go from a mansion to a cruise ship, where Sandler returns to his bad movie roots ala GOING OVERBOARD, which is THE WEDDING SINGER comparably. Pretty bad stuff here, but who’s surprised? And there's one telling scene where Pacino, after viewing the cheesy commercial he filmed for Jack, says something like: "This is terrible. No one can see this." Perhaps he was speaking of the movie itself, because the commercial is way more entertaining, and funnier too.

adam sandler, al pacino, comedy, tens

JACK AND JILL

title: JACK AND JILL year: 2011 cast: Adam Sandler, Al Pacino rating: ** Does it even need to be said that Adam Sandler playing his ow...

EMILIO ESTEVEZ DIRECTS DAD MARTIN SHEEN IN 'THE WAY'

<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XmiXteurQK8/TroFEQ1bIYI/AAAAAAAACfU/bTcjfthb_FY/s1600/The-Way-2011-Film-Still-Martin-Sheen.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="325" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672852251423220098" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XmiXteurQK8/TroFEQ1bIYI/AAAAAAAACfU/bTcjfthb_FY/w180-h325/The-Way-2011-Film-Still-Martin-Sheen.jpg" style="float: right; height: 220px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 122px;" width="180" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>2011 ***</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> For a story about a father taking over the journey of his son, who died on the first day of the El Camino de Santiago… a spiritual-based hiking expedition from France to Spain… it’s not too bad. But as an ensemble involving three other hikers joining the trek, THE WAY tries too hard making up for the difficulty of basing an entire movie on a long walking trip. Other than gorgeous exterior locations and peaks into various small towns along the way, what’s there to do? Well that’s what characters are for, but other than Martin Sheen as the grieving father, the eclectic tagalongs can be annoying: including an opinionated, tough Canadian woman (Barbara Eden lookalike Deborah Unger from THE GAME but noticeably aged) who doesn't try very hard to quit smoking; a babbling Irish travelogue writer aka the token neurotic; and an overweight jovial Dutch guy taking the comic relief mantle. The script and direction by Emilio Estevez is hit and miss – while the shots are beautiful (mostly because the location is beautiful) and the quest is heartfelt, some of the dialogue feels contrived: reminding us it's just a movie. And each problematic situation… like Sheen getting his son’s backpack and ashes stolen… are resolved way too easily (or quenched with a breezy feel-good tune). But it's the moments when we stick closely on the face of our protagonist that it seems a worthwhile journey. After all, it’s his story, and knowing his son (in the film) is not only on his mind, but is (in real life) behind the camera: that is, if anything else, what really matters.

drama, emilio estevez, martin sheen, tens

EMILIO ESTEVEZ DIRECTS DAD MARTIN SHEEN IN 'THE WAY'

2011 *** For a story about a father taking over the journey of his son, who died on the first day of the El Camino de Santiago… a spirit...

JOHN CARPENTER 'ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13' W/ LAURIE ZIMMER

<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Rujy6sRAu0U/W9myyo39vNI/AAAAAAAA7JU/j_-DSmDg-EATIpAitbJ_yejT_Glbt5VNwCLcBGAs/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2018-10-31%2Bat%2B6.44.35%2BAM.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="999" data-original-width="1430" height="279" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Rujy6sRAu0U/W9myyo39vNI/AAAAAAAA7JU/j_-DSmDg-EATIpAitbJ_yejT_Glbt5VNwCLcBGAs/s400/Screen%2BShot%2B2018-10-31%2Bat%2B6.44.35%2BAM.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>year: 1976 cast: Austin Stoker, Laurie Zimmer, Kim Richards </u></td></tr> </tbody></table> JOHN CARPENTER is the renown “Master of Horror,” and his scary films, often mixed with science fiction, followed this '70s low-budget crime/exploitation. And thanks to the Panavision, the gliding camera, and an ominous synthesized score, his latter classics owe a lot to this gritty, urban predecessor.<br /> <br /> <div style="text-align: right;"> </div> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RXZs4EamVSs/Vht5cAM4TsI/AAAAAAAApZg/tN6sjK4QmTk/s1600/precinct_13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RXZs4EamVSs/Vht5cAM4TsI/AAAAAAAApZg/tN6sjK4QmTk/s320/precinct_13.jpg" width="184" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>ASSAULT Rates: ****</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> Loosely based on Howard Hawks' RIO BRAVO, the plot centers on a nearly vacant police precinct about to be closed as Austin Stoker, a dependable cop, is sent to oversee the transition. Meanwhile, on the streets outside, a gang of bloodletting criminals gun down a little girl played by Kim Richards. Her father kills the leader and runs for shelter at the precinct while the vengeful thugs, like Indians in the Westerns Carpenter grew up watching, surround the precinct.<br /> <br /> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uKPy87RUdvw/Vht5kDCFBfI/AAAAAAAApZo/wFOs6W5b62c/s1600/Screen%2Bshot%2B2015-10-12%2Bat%2B1.58.55%2BAM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uKPy87RUdvw/Vht5kDCFBfI/AAAAAAAApZo/wFOs6W5b62c/s200/Screen%2Bshot%2B2015-10-12%2Bat%2B1.58.55%2BAM.png" width="167" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Shout Factory busy Cover</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> It’s now the good guys verses the bad guys: yet one of the heroes is a convicted killer, played with slow burn cool by Darwin Joston who, with Stoker and gorgeous yet tough office worker Laurie Zimmer between mousy office girl Nancy Loomis, fight off the antagonists within the darkened, claustrophobic confides.<br /> <br /> The first half, setting up the precinct and the city streets… more of a barren wasteland than a lethal metropolis… wields the patented Carpenter long shots with mesmerizing suspense in an intentionally slow manner, far exceeding the last half as the frantic trio battle unseen exterior forces. And while the lead actors have chemistry with each other, their performances are often so low-key and monotone you’ll long to see the goons beyond the precinct walls. But Frank Doubleday, as the gangland sniper setting the entire plot into motion, is the most memorable: reminiscent of the sinister forces Carpenter would use later on.<br /> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YNbdaaaAc-w/W9olc0B0CiI/AAAAAAAA7KE/Ortu_6sGlEIjIFqoSIfSzVVwIzrff6_jgCLcBGAs/s1600/0.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="330" data-original-width="739" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YNbdaaaAc-w/W9olc0B0CiI/AAAAAAAA7KE/Ortu_6sGlEIjIFqoSIfSzVVwIzrff6_jgCLcBGAs/s1600/0.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>John Carpenter soon-to-be regulars Charles Cyphers & Nancy Loomis with Laurie Zimmer</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fwLrctDjWJA/W9oldIgNFsI/AAAAAAAA7KM/w4sqA4VtEas9ruSVU5EQEOQQKvJO6eaIQCLcBGAs/s1600/1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="498" data-original-width="841" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fwLrctDjWJA/W9oldIgNFsI/AAAAAAAA7KM/w4sqA4VtEas9ruSVU5EQEOQQKvJO6eaIQCLcBGAs/s1600/1.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Austin Stoker, Laurie Zimmer and Darwin Joston in ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZdxsHRjsFq0/W9oleA0SzMI/AAAAAAAA7KY/nnPGjWB-qLMNh8JTba7iAixzb1evFwtbACLcBGAs/s1600/2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="484" data-original-width="936" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZdxsHRjsFq0/W9oleA0SzMI/AAAAAAAA7KY/nnPGjWB-qLMNh8JTba7iAixzb1evFwtbACLcBGAs/s1600/2.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Austin Stoker, Laurie Zimmer and Darwin Joston in ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pSvkVq-cPl8/W9olea4yRqI/AAAAAAAA7Kc/viv4mwS64CY4Z5FpUk3n2VQhhMfnTBm4gCLcBGAs/s1600/4.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="854" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pSvkVq-cPl8/W9olea4yRqI/AAAAAAAA7Kc/viv4mwS64CY4Z5FpUk3n2VQhhMfnTBm4gCLcBGAs/s1600/4.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>A Papillon like poster image of Nancy Loomis and Laurie Zimmer in Assault on Precinct 13</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ICVsYukFczo/W9oldh0iRZI/AAAAAAAA7KQ/EAfjNZXPdZIKQ3Ju1rCHXfyg3s_n7J9cACLcBGAs/s1600/13.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="295" data-original-width="746" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ICVsYukFczo/W9oldh0iRZI/AAAAAAAA7KQ/EAfjNZXPdZIKQ3Ju1rCHXfyg3s_n7J9cACLcBGAs/s1600/13.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Noir blinds shadowy look in Assault on Precinct 13 w/ Laurie Zimmer and Austin Stoker</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5yIX8XXuf4g/W9old1_ij1I/AAAAAAAA7KU/ljpT6q2-cM01sObOKG6gkF2sBPus4EFfwCLcBGAs/s1600/15.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="359" data-original-width="805" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5yIX8XXuf4g/W9old1_ij1I/AAAAAAAA7KU/ljpT6q2-cM01sObOKG6gkF2sBPus4EFfwCLcBGAs/s1600/15.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Austin Stoker, Laurie Zimmer in ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/--rt4DA9S7cg/W9olc-tzGZI/AAAAAAAA7KI/-mLq-AT4sgoUfz7Y_cjc_Xk7kUfkjuXVwCEwYBhgL/s1600/11.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="355" data-original-width="819" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/--rt4DA9S7cg/W9olc-tzGZI/AAAAAAAA7KI/-mLq-AT4sgoUfz7Y_cjc_Xk7kUfkjuXVwCEwYBhgL/s1600/11.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Charles Cyphers and Charles Cyphers in John Carpenter's Assault on Precinct 13</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-21BUUut1GKA/W9m7I9IBM9I/AAAAAAAA7J4/JTql9PZDDi4n8I0A302z1jWQTWnumElkwCLcBGAs/s1600/45055750_594203651008815_5825772027742519296_n.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="526" data-original-width="960" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-21BUUut1GKA/W9m7I9IBM9I/AAAAAAAA7J4/JTql9PZDDi4n8I0A302z1jWQTWnumElkwCLcBGAs/s1600/45055750_594203651008815_5825772027742519296_n.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Laurie Zimmer and a tough stroll in John Carpenter's Assault on Precinct 13</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q50HDYAER_4/W9mv6Podn4I/AAAAAAAA7JI/ev8VUe_JLmQiW0x0p1GedaGRqAx4PAV6gCLcBGAs/s1600/0%2B3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="469" data-original-width="895" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q50HDYAER_4/W9mv6Podn4I/AAAAAAAA7JI/ev8VUe_JLmQiW0x0p1GedaGRqAx4PAV6gCLcBGAs/s1600/0%2B3.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Laurie Zimmer with Nancy Loomis in the background in ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iIGMiZbxt6w/W9mvmZ1bP5I/AAAAAAAA7Iw/lH-5CklU1PE52iS73MFjwLC2LVvuXu6SACEwYBhgL/s1600/1%2B3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="484" data-original-width="840" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iIGMiZbxt6w/W9mvmZ1bP5I/AAAAAAAA7Iw/lH-5CklU1PE52iS73MFjwLC2LVvuXu6SACEwYBhgL/s1600/1%2B3.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Laurie Zimmer Assault on Precinct 13 Laurie Zimmer John Carpenter</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KJihWgJzJzM/W9mvmSvnW9I/AAAAAAAA7Is/7J27vU0wA0g3jwHesz3T2bXq_UJ4XkkNQCEwYBhgL/s1600/2%2B3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="505" data-original-width="960" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KJihWgJzJzM/W9mvmSvnW9I/AAAAAAAA7Is/7J27vU0wA0g3jwHesz3T2bXq_UJ4XkkNQCEwYBhgL/s1600/2%2B3.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Halloween's Cute and pointy Nancy Loomis begins her Carpenter's training in Assault on Precinct 13</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YEaNMTJi_c8/W9mvn2Nd10I/AAAAAAAA7I4/YgfDjVlG9Fwd8yANmvfTwTY5V40ueXx6ACEwYBhgL/s1600/44444444.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="611" data-original-width="1600" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YEaNMTJi_c8/W9mvn2Nd10I/AAAAAAAA7I4/YgfDjVlG9Fwd8yANmvfTwTY5V40ueXx6ACEwYBhgL/s1600/44444444.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Frank Doubleday is a backseat driver assassin in Assault on Precinct 13</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ibreXpnDkf8/W9mvniBSUAI/AAAAAAAA7I0/szAJtPYM_mkh6WYaJxnZHW-sK1EtKwetgCEwYBhgL/s1600/33333333333344444.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="627" data-original-width="1243" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ibreXpnDkf8/W9mvniBSUAI/AAAAAAAA7I0/szAJtPYM_mkh6WYaJxnZHW-sK1EtKwetgCEwYBhgL/s1600/33333333333344444.jpeg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><u>Escape from New York's Romero in Carpenter's second feature Assault on Precinct 13 Frank Doubleday</u></td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0QCHYpg3eGs/T9Uga0EV1EI/AAAAAAAAHnE/5oiWxpinr2I/s1600/305556_10150712413874708_477660298_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0QCHYpg3eGs/T9Uga0EV1EI/AAAAAAAAHnE/5oiWxpinr2I/s1600/305556_10150712413874708_477660298_n.jpg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">Kim Richards enjoys the final flavor</td></tr> </tbody></table> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wQv6ZMRZzoM/T9UgcfzvkTI/AAAAAAAAHnU/CoJe7pe49bg/s1600/384564_10150382836849708_758290294_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wQv6ZMRZzoM/T9UgcfzvkTI/AAAAAAAAHnU/CoJe7pe49bg/s1600/384564_10150382836849708_758290294_n.jpg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">"Why didn't I just stay at Witch Mountain?"</td></tr> </tbody></table> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FNkEBfdeoyw/T9UgboGYrkI/AAAAAAAAHnM/RStAZ7MhwiQ/s1600/376839_10150382836919708_1036519759_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FNkEBfdeoyw/T9UgboGYrkI/AAAAAAAAHnM/RStAZ7MhwiQ/s1600/376839_10150382836919708_1036519759_n.jpg" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Why are you on that stupid reality show? See where it got you?"</td></tr> </tbody></table>

action, austin stoker, charles cyphers, cop, crime, cult, darwin joston, exploitation, john carpenter, kim richards, laurie zimmer, nancy loomis, seventies, tony burton

JOHN CARPENTER 'ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13' W/ LAURIE ZIMMER

year: 1976 cast: Austin Stoker, Laurie Zimmer, Kim Richards JOHN CARPENTER is the renown “Master of Horror,” and his scary films, often ...

TOWER HEIST

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LaLsJWJUqZs/TrRRAR3i9hI/AAAAAAAACeA/8FRqGiHrK44/s1600/Eddie-Murphy-and-Ben-Stiller-in-Tower-Heist-2011-Movie-Image-600x317.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 112px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LaLsJWJUqZs/TrRRAR3i9hI/AAAAAAAACeA/8FRqGiHrK44/s200/Eddie-Murphy-and-Ben-Stiller-in-Tower-Heist-2011-Movie-Image-600x317.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5671246896004527634" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">title:</span> TOWER HEIST<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">year:</span> 2011<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">cast: </span>Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Casey Affleck, Alan Alda, Judd Hirsch<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">rating: </span>**1/2<br /><br />It’s tough not to feel for the employees of The Tower, a high rise harboring a crooked penthouse tycoon who’s swindled their pensions. And Ben Stiller, playing his usual likable everyman, gets caught in the middle – as the manager who suggested they invest in the first place. After getting fired for standing up to the Ponzi-scheming Arthur Shaw, played with cocky indifference by Alan Alda, Stiller decides to rob the penthouse suite along with Casey Affleck as a flaky concierge, Matthew Broderick as a whining has-been investor, Michael Pena as a sweet-natured elevator operator, and Eddie Murphy as Stiller’s convict neighbor called upon, thanks to his criminal record, to oversee the caper. On the surface it seems Murphy’s back to form, playing the jive-ass from his cinematic origins; but his frantic rants seem like a Reggie Hammond (48 HRS) and/or Billy Ray Valentine (TRADING PLACES) imitation more than an actual person. And the other characters, though partaking in a worthy cause, seem to have little motivation or risk. As a comedy, there aren’t many funny lines or moments; a large percentage of the film has our over-their-head heroes either planning, or executing, the heist while spouting pop trivia. And the heist itself happens much too breezily till a third-act twist catapults the plot to a new level. It’s here – when the mission seems (and is) thoroughly implausible – that the best moments occur, including nail-biting scenes that'll keep you on edge while the characters, who sort of slept-walked through the first half, become a team to root for.

ben stiller, caper, comedy, eddie murphy, ensemble, team-up, tens

TOWER HEIST

title: TOWER HEIST year: 2011 cast: Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Casey Affleck, Alan Alda, Judd Hirsch rating: **1/2 It’s tough not to feel ...

CHRISTMAS IN CONNECTICUT

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hQZwV27wTZY/TsVza_dYVbI/AAAAAAAACi0/wKGI5xbEM0A/s1600/268664_1020_a.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 138px; height: 200px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hQZwV27wTZY/TsVza_dYVbI/AAAAAAAACi0/wKGI5xbEM0A/s200/268664_1020_a.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5676069812918834610" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">title:</span> CHRISTMAS IN CONNECTICUT<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">year: </span>1992<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">cast: </span>Dyan Cannon, Kris Kristofferson, Tony Curtis, Richard Roundtree<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">rating: </span>*1/2<br /><br />Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Terminator. Arnold Schwarzenegger is one bad dude. He’s a barbarian, a commando. Gunning down villains, chopping off heads or hunting down frightened damsels: it doesn’t matter because he’s cool, he’s mean, he’s tough… And he’s the director of Christmas in Connecticut. Okay, what’s wrong – very, very wrong – with this picture? Just about everything. Dyan Cannon's the star of a popular cooking show who, pushed by a finicky, uptight and horrendously over-the-top movie producer Tony Curtis, feigns knowledge in the ways of the kitchen – when she’s really a shallow actress living in New York City. Then there’s Kris Kristofferson as a backwoods county Sheriff, famous for saving a boy’s life. Thus Curtis gets an idea to put Cannon and Kristofferson in a holiday special taking place in her fictional country home replete with a bogus family, each member unfunnier than the next. All this is to trick Kristofferson but there’s absolutely no reason he needs to be fooled, nor does it matter when he – or the viewing public when the show goes live – finds out the truth, making the entire TV movie a dull, predictable mess… Posing the question: What on earth was Arnold thinking? And as for his career as a director: after this, he wouldn’t be back.

arnold schwarzenegger, comedy, dyan cannon, kris kristofferson, nineties, tv movie

CHRISTMAS IN CONNECTICUT

title: CHRISTMAS IN CONNECTICUT year: 1992 cast: Dyan Cannon, Kris Kristofferson, Tony Curtis, Richard Roundtree rating: *1/2 Arnold Schwar...