Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Written by / 7/03/2016 / No comments / ,

OMFG AVOID THE BFG YOU WON'T LYFAO

Wherein the last new movie reviewed, INDEPENDENCE DAY RESURGENCE, had no second act, this catastrophe has no first act: The ball gets rolling before we know why, only who...

That being a little girl in an orphanage with an open window peering out into shadowy, cobbled English streets and then a giant who, it turns out, isn't so giant after all, stealing her away to his lair where, living up to his name, Big Friendly Giant, he protects her from the mean and hungry giant-giants outside, in their plush green valley, but what the hell – he kidnapped her in the first place...

Score: 1/2
It takes about twenty long minutes for the duo to supposedly get to know each other. It feels like a nightmare CGI stage play in purgatory, the giant speaking like a mentally challenged Yoda reciting Shakespeare on Ludes and resembling a twisted old codger pedophile while the Spielberg touch, of making little kids seem like little adults, just isn't there in child actress Ruby Barnhill; not because she can't act... she's alright in that department... but she doesn't seem like part of a story at all, reacting to what feels like a Green Screen void. By the time they venture outside, and the not-so-giant giant is bullied by the really big boys on his way to his job, of capturing dreams, THE BFG has already run its course...

With attempts by Spielberg to maneuver his camera in the usual fantastical style, trying to, like his good movies, make us feel involved in the action as it takes place, stock maestro John Williams doesn't miss a note to cover every single pointless step, bounce, trounce and pounce in this convoluted mess that makes HOOK seem like RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK and could very well be the worst... T-H-E W-O-R-S-T... children's movie ever made. The good news is, after completely bombing with a tragic $18 Million Opening, it's already almost completely forgotten, and you can bet it will never acquire a cult following, or even an epitaph.
Share This Post :
Tags : ,

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

All Time Popular

Featured Post

DIRECTOR JACK ARNOLD GROUNDS 'IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE'

Richard Carlson and Barbara Rush in IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE Year: 1953 Rating: ***1/2 The same year as the theatrical WAR OF THE WORLDS, wh...

WWW.CULTFILMFREAKS.COM

WWW.CULTFILMFREAKS.COM
Movie Reviews, Interviews, Articles and Pop Culture from White Heat to Blue City

RIP KEN HUTCHISON MONTH

RIP KEN HUTCHISON MONTH
Reviews with the late Scottish tough guy actor

TOTAL HITS

Popular Trending

FOUNDED BY JAMES M. TATE

FOUNDED BY JAMES M. TATE
RANDOM QUOTE: "You don't say Hitler in an airport." Harley Morensteinm from TUSK

CRIME/FILM NOIR/NEO NOIR


Gritty Exploitation Cinema of Charles Bronson

FAVORITES SHORTLIST

1)OTLEY 2)THE FEARMAKERS 3)HOT CARS 4)RAIDERS FROM BENEATH THE SEA 5)CANYON PASSAGE 6)THE CROWDED SKY 7)JUNGLE STREET 8)VIOLENT SATURDAY 9)ANATOMY OF A MURDER 10)HELL IS A CITY 11))THE MAN FROM LARAMIE 12)SHARKS' TREASURE 13)SWEENEY TWO 14)HARDCORE 15)FRENZY 16)THE SYSTEM 17)WHITE HEAT 18)THE SERGEANT 19)AL CAPONE 20)FALLEN ANGEL 21)ASH WEDNESDAY 22)CURSE OF THE DEMON 23)THE HIJACKERS 24)KILLER FISH 25)AIR PATROL 26)DUEL IN THE JUNGLE 27)EASY LIVING 28)WILLIAM CONRAD'S BRAINSTORM 29)THE NIGHT OF THE FOLLOWING DAY 30)WHERE THE SIDEWALK ACTORS 1)DANA ANDREWS 2)JAMES CAGNEY 3)MARLON BRANDO 4)JACK NICHOLSON 5)STANLEY BAKER DIRECTORS 1)JACQUES TOURNEUR 2)RICHARD FLEISCHER 3)STANLEY KUBRICK 4)ORSON WELLES 5)OTTO PREMINGER 6)JOHN LANDIS 7)JOHN GUILLERMAN 8)VAL GUEST 9)JOHN CARPENTER 10)MICHAEL WINNER

BRITISH NEW WAVE CINEMA

RARITIES AND EXPLOITATION

HAMMER HORROR & THRILLER

Popular This Month

WESTERN GENRE REVIEWS

CINEMA INCUBO SPAVENTATA

CINEMA OF DANA ANDREWS

PEAKING IN THE SIXTIES

KICKING IN THE EIGHTIES

TALES AND REFLECTIONS

REVVING THE SEVENTIES

Most Popular Last Year

RETURN TO THE HOMEPAGE