JOHNNY DEPP STARRING IN MORTDECAI

2015 rating: *

At this point, after a string of quirky roles, Johnny Depp doesn’t have to try very hard, but sometimes he should try just a little… After all, not everyone is drowned in the Kool Aid: he still has a few of us left to sell.   

Reminiscent of Inspector Clouseau with a dash of Austin Powers, this could be Johnny's revenge for not landing THE THIN MAN… As a British boozing rogue with drowsy one-liners spoken with a put-on accent, he has a muggy expression for every occasion and even overacts while sleeping.

Sporadically injecting KILL BILL style retro kitsch, especially when a fake looking jet flies to and from each plush location, MORTDECAI plays out like an arthouse spy thriller not funny enough for a parody or realistic enough to be taken even half seriously. Involving the frantic hunt for a stolen painting, side characters include Mort's resilient womanizing henchman, an assertive wife and a cop who loves her. And while each scene promises a brisk spurt of delightful madcap energy, we're always derailed into tedious conversations overdosing on witty and clever.  

The best scene takes place at an art auction… everyone finally has purpose and the endless jaunt is nearing a conclusion in what's probably the worst Johnny Depp vehicle to date, making THE LONE RANGER seem like PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN. COLLECTIVE RANK: Jedi, Rebel, Droid, Sith.