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Title: CONAN THE DESTROYER Year: 1984 Rating: ***1/2
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John Milius's CONAN THE BARBARIAN was a passion project for the ruggedly raucous auteur, who loved Robert E. Howard's short stories but with Oliver Stone's overlong and brooding, revenge-driven Spaghetti Western-inspired script, there was hardly anything Howardesque about it despite becoming a rabid cult phenomenon...
And journeyman director Richard Fleischer's far more mainstream and conventional and therefore fan-maligned CONAN THE DESTROYER, replacing exploitive ultra-violence with a more family-oriented, comic book inspired, horse-ridden road movie appeal, actually embodies Howard's original Gothic tales by simply involving a constant handing-off of adventurous tasks and battles that includes good old fashion pre-computerized monster suits and, shot in Mexico, while the landscapes look a bit too clean, the interior sets are both lavish and formidable...
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Arnold Schwarzenegger in CONAN THE DESTROYER Wilt Chamberlain, Mako & Tracey Walter |
As for the characters, Conan's cowardly sidekick Tracey Walter, an offbeat character-actor mostly used sparingly as quirky burnouts or bizarre thugs, seems more befitting a Saturday Morning cartoon, marring both suspense and urgency in action sequences, while 1980's fad Grace Jones's mere presence is now horribly dated, providing Wilt Chamberlain the most fleshed-out of Conan's overcrowded traveling troupe...
Since, as a loyal bodyguard, he's neither good or bad, despite working for evil queen Sarah Douglas, who wants ingenue princess Olivia D'Abo to be virgin-sacrificed by the end of Conan's chore to keep her protected...
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSIRY18okCYJ8kR3u2E1o3b7g07V397KvN33Ony5Y_T0RJsWNhfFJBpt_AYRaqb_5ag8dCgL1L6aI1dw6UkM6SgiTWqaoYFNRcIDFW1-qzVe4WCbEmaZ5xv-MIk9EXGzbuOyFS8LhS8p2WdcM3EaTsZbHZLS0IndxAaTAX2tQDd73sgd8zacaEs4IcEQ/s16000/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-09%20at%207.19.38%20PM.jpeg) |
Arnold Schwarzenegger in CONAN THE DESTROYER |
And it's the random perilous attempts that make DESTROYER a decent enough ride, providing an-ever shirtless Arnold Schwarzenegger enough reason to flex his savagely savvy, muscular prowess...
Especially being that the deliberately basic plot's to simply get through dangerous situations alive — serious enough business to where the inserted PG-rated humor's simply not needed, and can do more harm than good: yet for a pulp-adapted sword-and-sandal Barbarian yarn, it shouldn't be joyless either.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger in CONAN THE DESTROYER with Olivia d'Abo
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Grace Jones in CONAN THE DESTROYER |
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Richard Fleischer's CONAN THE DESTROYER |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRrMZFRFdiuoIIK9DS6V8R8GYeA98K3dRw5XPn4Jh50xHI5QepFryvifENO_iU1wlTtgLDUJpr23V2EreL2Ab-4WJ5O1Jii5uebWnNc6UuEdz-UoLkhGGWZuKkCI7lsz-9AK0U0rBkQVZTa7Mr-POjcSDvEyHcRB2rvqsxaDwm2vwh16SQW9yUK8GRyA/s16000/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-09%20at%207.23.32%20PM.jpeg) |
Sarah Douglas in CONAN THE DESTROYER |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY48ZODmjH3szZxsPOhwZvJx6V9jArB1revu3fcQG-JDwdFh1g8abXUbfim2hXM7mhj0FZAlisdJ9fO_AdizSpts-TFc3a9BXn56OfCLlYHAX60x9JVv1mAldZ8n47DW9aDv-AUe8d_SUJjqcIZ483G65dwuZ54hWvHKfII8ucMoJDRZQyQprtyX53XA/s16000/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-09%20at%207.23.37%20PM.jpeg) |
Olivia d'Abo in CONAN THE DESTROYER |
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Arnold Schwarzenegger in CONAN THE DESTROYER |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglAskFvz4d3XjV-imiCrhMCCSzYctp4sku8tHKquVUaDWdPFv0FIYjDxwi4EK6x_-GRHLn0y2UwStnqr8nWM6ODMRvqBGJii-uLsr9nGVv7x2hO_5pykyo37yOf8KS25WFUeM4iBAVLJZVx4TRBrkXEUBhuLyqDceASSOSdKTMQOtsbO3HnLf9Aw3tOw/s16000/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-09%20at%207.21.09%20PM.jpeg) |
Arnold Schwarzenegger in CONAN THE DESTROYER |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp_qcXyRg1lqj8IEGhhN1zuRio5AFNIfzdElYcazTxIFqIpfHArS9-l8A5-OVGHfV1rgUfJKK9JSmmqouQ7Nt0S3b6wUwmVrKbL1L6zgHxMbaU8HsbAkH3GrKokjXxP-fHd6Z1nCovhYbznr563ZSKx4OkpFz4qchf6PaH8QvmXHd7iNn4TLn4TY5rAg/s16000/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-09%20at%207.24.27%20PM.jpeg) |
Arnold Schwarzenegger in CONAN THE DESTROYER |
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Olivia d'Abo in CONAN THE DESTROYER |
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilvj2FbsrcDT2-cQHeDo-Gxix7CMeSS_Iuo3aUq4p4OlkYgxAf5d7Ov5pVtMVODZKGpb1YkNVBBsEadWXHTO9ahUOUOP0Tuu6fsiu_YikUWcKwdrIx7-eNMYHaS7bXXScs4sL9NVoi-kRu_isG0qOCVP7PJ4YTfYw-vLdM1LuBTDfdNAdr7qsIUh90Fw/s16000/Screen%20Shot%202023-04-09%20at%207.20.46%20PM%202.jpeg) |
Arnold Schwarzenegger in CONAN THE DESTROYER with Pat Roach |
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Arnold Schwarzenegger in CONAN THE DESTROYER with Grace Jones
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