Written by / 2/03/2017 / No comments /

NO MORE IMDB MESSAGE BOARDS & FAREWELL HERMIT C-2

As The Children of Cinema Reflect Upon The Slain & Beloved Board
Alas, it's the End of an Internet Era. Soon the IMDb message boards will be dead and gone. It was a place that Cult Film Freak would link sporadic movie reviews to, and yes, some complained that that wasn't what IMDb was for (yet only if they disagreed with the writeup)...

But this is a bonafide site with over a million hits, and a right is a right, and the real culprits are vapid monopolizers known as Trolls: People taking over an entire thread with a boatload of intentionally pointless theories and comments, and some were over-the-top in a lewd and racist fashion, obviously created and intended just to be deleted. And yet, as obnoxious as Trolls could be, they are merely Red Herring Scapegoats... This situation is reminiscent of when another brilliant pop culture site, consisting entirely of a message board, was destroyed: Jump The Shark on Jump The Shark Dot Com was and still is one of the greatest pop culture terms ever invented. Inspired by the HAPPY DAYS episode in which Fonzie and friends take a trip to California, The Fonz wore his leather jacket with swim trunks and, just as the Mork episode was inspired by Steven Spielberg's CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND, that same famous young director's shark classic JAWS was the reason that the epitome of cool, who would protect his friends by beating up rivals back home, could also take on a treacherous and hungry Carcharodon Carcharias.
A personal favorite, how the subject for SON OF KONG leads to content that adds a quick sentence to sum it up
Fonzie was up against The California Kid, played by ANIMAL HOUSE "Nazi Youth" James Daughton. And for people who love Camp Value, it's not a terrible episode (or rather, episodes). In actuality, you would have to search far and wide to find a three-part "TV Sitcom Movie" that throws anything and everything into the pot simply for the sake of pure unapologetic entertainment. So for anyone who doesn't know, the term Jump The Shark is... When a TV show begins to go downhill, it's thus referred to as Jumping the Shark. Movies too, bands, authors, etc. Hell, you can even use it on friends and family. A similar term would be, Selling Out.
This one where the Reply makes the threat great... Starting out with a kind of trick subject then laying it out...
Followed by The Reply that describes Pamela Franklin in FOOD OF THE GODS splendidly...
Also about this HAPPY DAYS episode, which is titled "Hollywood" followed by Part 1, 2 or 3 — there were other things... other than leaping over the formidable fish (like he'd done previously on dry land but with a motorcycle over trashcans or something)... that served as an indicator that the show was on the rudimentary stages of an inevitable decline...

Who Knew This Bad Greatness Would Catch On A Universal Catchphrase
The main reason (i.e. plot) for the clan to take a vacation was that Richie was to leave Milwaukee and become a film writer. California would be his new home and it took a collected 90-minutes for Fonzie to not only leap for his life, but to talk his buddy into going back with his friends and family. The truth is, former ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW child icon Ron Howard wanted to quit acting and become a director before the series even began, which was inspired by a movie that he starred in, AMERICAN GRAFFITI, and a sort of "short film" centered on the first season's leads, Richie and pal Potsie Webber, first premiered as a standalone episode of LOVE AMERICAN STYLE. Our theory is: Knowing Ron's beloved, red-haired, boy-next-door Richie Cunningham... the centerpiece of the entire series... was gonna be gone soon, producer Garry Marshall was preparing the audience for his departure. For while Richie didn't stay in California, it wouldn't be long before he, and the show's hilarious comic relief, Donny Most as Ralph Malph, would pack their bags for boot camp in... some snowy region somewhere far, far away. And now back to the point at hand...
What's written matters not... The importance is that it's the final post by IMdB's most active user, Hermit C-2
Google-Proof That Hermit C-2 and IMDb Were One
Since Cult Film Freak doesn't review new movies like it used to, the impending death of the IMDb Message Boards isn't as tragic as it would've been, say, last year. But all the hilarious observations by members, along with fabulous screen names like UnholyGiraffe, SampanMassacre, ILoveBigKnockers, FBruceLee & SlaveJuan, will be sorely missed: So above and below are screen captures of our favorite quotes, and one "legendary" board poster: Hermit C-2 (technically Hermit_C-2), who died a few years back, had more Happy Birthday posts than any human alive: From Rock Stars (he was a big Traveling Wilbury's fan) to Movie Stars to Porn Stars, Hermit would never forget. One of his greatest (and wonderfully creepy) quotes was "Porn are People too." Farewell Hermster— now it's permanent!

This will be the IMDb message board system on February 20th 2017
Summing up: When TV Guide bought the Jump The Shark site, making founder John Hein rich in the process, they quickly destroyed it. The answer to why this happened is obvious: Studio Heads didn't want anyone to know why their shows suck, or sucked, and how or, most importantly, when exactly they began to. It feels like the same thing's going on here. Now movie fans will have to blindly reach for opinions and theories like being in a dark, unfamiliar room while the Corporate BigWigs run the show, like always, and without all those pesky opinions from common folk. The word "Negative" is used in their excuse to obliterate the Message Boards. And yet, there is one Pro to this tragic and completely unfair Con: No more bitter, envious people will be able to attack movies like THE GODFATHER for being "flawed" or "overrated" or "actually boring" while always finding more and more mistakes. It seems like, for many of the newer IMDb members, if Leo DiCaprio or Johnny Depp didn't star under Christopher Nolan's direction, it just ain't no good, despite what the critics and movie buffs have thought, and known, all these years. But hey, even these kiddos had the right to an opinion, and soon enough, as of February 20th, 2017... since not being able sounds less dictatorial than not being allowed... no one can tell the Emperors of Cinema — from corporation studio bosses to producers to directors to actors — they're stark raving nude and full of sh-t!
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