Written by / 6/27/2014 / 1 Comment / , , ,

MARK WAHLBERG IN TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION

year: 2014 rating: **
In BOOGIE NIGHTS, Mark Wahlberg sings a wonderfully cheesy song titled You Got The Touch, which originated from the 1986 animated TRANSFORMERS MOVIE…

This is the type of useless pop culture trivia going through the mind of a film freak while watching a reboot of a reboot that piles on everything to make a big budget movie shine, but misses the mark entirely…

Not Mark Wahlberg, who has far more screen time than any of the Transformers put together. Although the entire plot centers on the friendly robots that, in the last movie, defended mankind from immense metal plated goons attacking Chicago...

And now it's all about the humans either protecting or destroying the invaders... Especially Wahlberg’s quirky and bankrupt wannabe Texas inventor Cade Yeager, living in a dilapidated farm with a mature looking teenage daughter who could easily pass as a girlfriend. The overly protected Tessa is so beloved and cherished she’s bound to get kidnapped… And while Cade's gadget-tinkering hobby is intriguing at first, his resilient tech skills don't amount to much when the ball gets rolling...

Not enough Optimus time
But that’s skipping ahead. First we must weather a tacked-on, forced comic relief from T.J. Miller’s surfer dude Lucas, and then Stanley Tucci as an equally jokey and sarcastic scientist named Joshua Joyce, who's a lot more important being that he invented an entirely new consumer-friendly Transformer that can alter itself by (what looks like) flying molecules rather than the usual noisy shape-shifting. Also on board is Kelsey Grammer as a nefarious CIA agent who wants all Transformers obliterated by using Joyce's invention, or something.

The titular heroes do have a decent amount of screen time, holed up in the desert and goading back and forth like seasoned war buddies during a Saturday night poker match... Yet they seem like special guest stars in someone else’s movie…

Shifting from America to Japan – where a host of metallic dinosaurs join the fight against a giant spaceship – all the Transformers do is follow Cade as he attempts to rescue his daughter and before that, having been joined by her young racy boyfriend, the trio’s chemistry is so reminiscent of ARMAGEDDON you’ll expect Wahlberg to become Bruce Willis while an Aerosmith ballad plays: But no matter who the heroic human is, and while it’s nice not having Shia LaBeouf around, those Transformers needed more creative reasons to awesomely morph into earthy vessels (what the source toy franchise was all about)... And during the last of several overlong climaxes, when Prime and his immense foe are about to square off, Wahlberg rushes into the scene for assistance, not realizing that an uninterrupted metal vs metal smackdown is long overdue.
Share This Post :
Tags : , , ,

1 comment:

  1. Great review...The other reviews also have been mostly critical...sloppy story one, dull characters, unbelievable situations, etc...that I think I'll pass. Thanks, James, for the usual astute overview and perfect detail...Kudos. Gar

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

All Time Popular

Featured Post

STRANGE FASCINATION OF 'XANADU' OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN

Title: XANADU Year: 1980 Rating: *** It was almost the end of Disco but everyone was rollerskating. Hell, even the gods. Or in this particu...

WWW.CULTFILMFREAKS.COM

WWW.CULTFILMFREAKS.COM
Movie Reviews, Interviews, Articles and Pop Culture from White Heat to Blue City

RIP ACTOR KEN HUTCHISON

TOTAL HITS

Popular Trending

FOUNDED BY JAMES M. TATE

FOUNDED BY JAMES M. TATE
RANDOM QUOTE: "The dead are happier dead; they don't miss much here, poor devils." Orson Welles to Joseph Cotten, The Third Man

NEO NOIR & FILM NOIR CINEMA

FAVORITES SHORTLIST

1)OTLEY 2)HELL IS A CITY 3)ROBBERY 4)CANYON PASSAGE 5)THE FEARMAKERS 6)VIOLENT SATURDAY 7)HOT CARS 8)JUNGLE STREET 9)ANATOMY OF A MURDER 10)THE CROWDED SKY 11))THE MAN FROM LARAMIE 12)SHARKS' TREASURE 13)SWEENEY TWO 14)RAIDERS FROM BENEATH THE SEA 15)HARDCORE 16)THE SYSTEM 17)WHITE HEAT 18)AL CAPONE 19)TENTACLES 20)FALLEN ANGEL 21)NIGHT CREATURES 22)CURSE OF THE DEMON 23)ASH WEDNESDAY 24)KILLER FISH 25)AIR PATROL 26)DUEL IN THE JUNGLE 27)EASY LIVING 28)WILLIAM CONRAD'S BRAINSTORM 29)FRENZY 30)THE ROARING TWENTIES 1)DANA ANDREWS 2)JAMES CAGNEY 3)JACK NICHOLSON 4)MARLON BRANDO 5)STANLEY BAKER 1)VIRGINIA MAYO 2)SUE LYON 3)GENE TIERNEY 4)MERRY ANDERS 5)FAYE DUNAWAY DIRECTORS 1)JACQUES TOURNEUR 2)RICHARD FLEISCHER 3)STANLEY KUBRICK 4)ORSON WELLES 5)OTTO PREMINGER 6)JOHN LANDIS 7)JOHN GUILLERMAN 8)VAL GUEST 9)JOHN CARPENTER 10)MICHAEL WINNER

BRITISH NEW WAVE CINEMA

RARITIES AND EXPLOITATION

HAMMER HORROR & THRILLER

Popular This Month

WESTERN GENRE REVIEWS

CINEMA OF DANA ANDREWS

PEAKING INTO THE SIXTIES

KICKING IN THE EIGHTIES

TALES AND REFLECTIONS

REVVING THE SEVENTIES

FOR HORROR MOVIE REVIEWS


Reviews for the British series The Sweeney

Most Popular Last Year

RETURN TO THE HOMEPAGE