FIVE CINEMATIC BLOW-ITS

1) Chevy Chase with Christie Brinkley in NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION

Here's a list of frustrating cinematic situations where a man has a chance to score with a really hot babe, sometimes a sure thing and other times a really good opportunity... And for whatever reason, ranging from guilt to lack of experience to sheer stupidity, he screws things up...

Let's start with Christie Brinkley, the classic rock of supermodels… In NATIONAL LAMPOON’S VACATION her sublime beauty was brilliantly exploited in the form of a rogue highway-driving hottie in a red Ferrari, flirting with put-upon father/husband Clark Griswold and then, later on, when Chevy Chase’s Clark meets Christie's unnamed hottie in a dive lounge, both venturing off into the motel swimming pool area, it seems in the bag…

But Clark suddenly realizes something the blonde skinny-dipping bombshell doesn’t… That the water is cold… Borderline freezing, most likely, given his frantic and extremely loud reaction… Or maybe that’s just Clark with a guilty conscious… Why else would he ruin the hookup of a lifetime?

2) Brian Bakker with Jennifer Jason Leigh in FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH

It's obvious that the nerdy/awkward Mark Ratner’s virginity caused him to duck out while on a date with hot freshman Stacy Hamilton, played by Jennifer Jason Leigh, the true star of FAST TIMES…

Reminiscing through the yearbook was the perfect ice-breaker... But Ratner gets cold feet and leaves Stacy alone, lying in bed… Argh!

3) John Cusack with Nicollette Sheridan in THE SURE THING

How can we have a blowing a sure thing list without THE SURE THING? It's impossible because John Cusack’s Walter Gibson had everything all lined up…

Thanks to Anthony Edwards as a UCLA student/borderline pimp, Gib was gonna score with Nicollette Sheridan... but suddenly gets a change of heart…

Okay, so, with Daphne Zuniga in the wings (possibly... although she was engaged), this is the most understandable duck-out so far… In her own girl-next-door fashion, Princess Vespa's just as lovely as Kojak’s stepdaughter…

4) Paul Rudd with Malin Akerman in WANDERLUST

Thankfully for us, city slicker turned commune dwelling George blows it big time, and with a slutty hippie chick no less, given a free ticket by wife Jennifer Aniston to have sex with gorgeous Malin Akerman...

Because the stuff Paul Rudd's frantic character says to mess up this perfect opportunity – although it can’t and won’t be written on this blog – is downright hilarious and probably improvised…

5) Robert De Niro with Cybill Shepard in TAXI DRIVER

Night owl cabbie Travis Bickle, played by Robert De Niro under the direction of collaborating genius Martin Scorsese, had his share of mental obstacles, yet was able to muster enough guts to walk into the political workplace of Cybill Shepard’s Betsy and ask her on a date…

The first encounter goes alright… The contented duo have coffee and small talk but it’s the important second-date-clincher that goes completely to hell when, of all places, Travis takes the classy young lady to a porno flick… What on God’s lonely man’s earth was he thinking?!

"A Kris Kristofferson album? Sorry Travis, she's already got it!"