Written by / 7/19/2013 / No comments / , , ,

THE CONJURING

year: 2013 cast: Lily Taylor, Ron Livingston, Patrick Wilson, Hayley McFarland rating: *1/2
Horror movies are fun and exciting, like a rollercoaster. They attract audiences who, gathered together like masses at a carnival, are expecting something in particular. And to get truly scared, beyond being jolted by a sudden noise, like a door slamming or, in this case, phantom hands clapping, is what's really important. A good horror flick has to earn the reward of internally spooking the hell out of, or into, a theater who paid for that thrill, or those thrills, to give them their money’s worth. So now, in 2013, THE EXORCIST is even scarier because the scariest thing in THE CONJURING is when (beware of spoilers) our leading lady geist, after causing animals to die and mentally torturing frightened children, finally shows up, looking a whole lot like possessed child Regan MacNeil… with spiderlike abilities. And there’s even a full blown Vatican-backed exorcism at the end, which, as Lily Taylor is thrust around every corner of the cellar, seems more like a Satanic Pro Wrestling Smackdown than a horror film.

The main story centers on a family in the 1960’s, with dad Ron Livingston (OFFICE SPACE), the already-mentioned Lily Taylor (a cult favorite for many years, specializing in the frantic and unglued) and a brood of young daughters that wind up being poked and prodded by an invisible trickster after midnight, but the curious mom gets most of the brunt along the way. The other main characters are real life paranormal researchers Lorraine and Ed Warren, "famous" for their AMITYVILLE case. Sporadic scenes of the couple lecturing college students, right in the middle of the family being haunted, are downright intrusive. And when Elaine takes center stage (her own daughter in jeopardy) we practically forget about the haunted house, now too crowded with an eclectic investigative team... including a macho cop named Brad Hamilton (80s kids will enjoy this reference)... to make us feel vulnerable for when the ghost, who’s more like an escaped convict at this point, decides to open and close more doors, loudly.

And the question everyone asks when watching any haunted house story, “Why don’t they just move out?” is answered by Ed Warren (paraphrasing), “You can't escape it... This ghost will stick to your family… like gum on your shoe.” Well it’s been two hours since watching this overrated, anticlimactic and downright ponderous mess and, to put it simply, there’s no gum… on either shoe.
Share This Post :
Tags : , , ,

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Featured Post

ROBERT FORSTER VS THE JAWS OF 'ALLIGATOR' W/ ROBIN RIKER

Poster art for Lewis Teague's ALLIGATOR Year: 1980 Of all JAWS-clones, ALLIGATOR is the most original, and, the second written by Jo...

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Most Popular Last Year

WWW.CULTFILMFREAKS.COM

WWW.CULTFILMFREAKS.COM
Movie Reviews, Interviews & Pop Culture ranging from White Heat to Blue City

FOR TELEVISION REVIEWS

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK

TOTAL HITS

Popular Trending

FOUNDED BY JAMES M. TATE

FOUNDED BY JAMES M. TATE
RANDOM QUOTE: "Maybe you're too pure, Paul. Too pure for the natural impurities of the law." Arthur O'Connell to James Stewart in Otto Preminger's Anatomy of a Murder

Blog Archive

ETERNAL ART OF FILM NOIR

FAVORITES SHORTLIST

MOVIES 1)THE FEARMAKERS 2)JAWS 3)THE CROWDED SKY 4)HOT CARS 5)RAIDERS FROM BENEATH THE SEA 6)VIOLENT SATURDAY 7)ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD 8)THE MAN FROM LARAMIE 9)CANYON PASSAGE 10)SHARKS' TREASURE 11)AIR PATROL 12)EASY LIVING 13)CURSE OF THE DEMON 14)HARDCORE 15)WICHITA 16)WILLIAM CONRAD'S BRAINSTORM 17)KILLER FISH 18)ANATOMY OF A MURDER 19)WHITE HEAT 20)FALLEN ANGEL 21)AL CAPONE 22)THE SERGEANT 23)THE DEFECTOR 24)CANYON RIVER 25)WHERE THE SIDEWALK ENDS

ACTORS 1)DANA ANDREWS 2)JAMES CAGNEY 3)MARLON BRANDO 4)ORSON WELLES 5)JACK NICHOLSON 6)PETER O'TOOLE 7)TOM COURTENAY 8)CHARLES BRONSON 9)GENE HACKMAN 10)STEVE COCHRAN DIRECTORS 1)JACQUES TOURNEUR 2)RICHARD FLEISCHER 3)STANLEY KUBRICK 4)ORSON WELLES 5)OTTO PREMINGER 6)MAURY DEXTER 7)JOHN GUILLERMIN 8)JOHN LANDIS 9)MICHAEL WINNER 10)SAM PECKINPAH ACTRESSES 1)VIRGINIA MAYO 2)FAYE DUNAWAY 3)SUE LYON 4)GENE TIERNEY 5)MERRY ANDERS

SCIENCE-FICTION STUFF

Popular This Month

OUR OWN CORNERSTONE

OUR OWN CORNERSTONE
Open the door to DANA ANDREWS Cinema

DANA ANDREWS FACEBOOK

BLOGS OF INTEREST

STARING INTO THE SIXTIES

RARITIES & EXPLOITATION

All Time Popular

KICKING IN THE EIGHTIES

TALES AND REFLECTIONS

TALES AND REFLECTIONS
"Really cool and a lot of class." Yaphet Kotto

TARGETING THE SEVENTIES

RETURN TO THE HOMEPAGE