CHRISTMAS VACATION 2: COUSIN EDDIE'S ISLAND ADVENTURE

year: 2003 cast: Randy Quaid, Dana Barron, Miriam Flynn, Fred Willard rating: *1/2

That’s right, a sequel to a sequel where Cousin Eddie, played by Randy Quaid – that endearingly gross white trash slob from the NATIONAL LAMPOON VACATION universe – has his own straight-to-DVD movie, and it’s so awful you might just enjoy yourself.

Eddie works at a nuclear physics lab. He and a monkey are both used for testing and the monkey is smarter. Eddie loses his job and they keep the monkey. He goes back to complain and the monkey bites Eddie on the ass. Instead of pursuing a lawsuit, he gets a free vacation to an unnamed tropical Island. That’s the plot in a nutshell.

Dana Barron returns as Audrey Griswold

Much like Hawaii, there are beautiful brown-skinned bikini girls and… let’s back up a bit. Eddie lives in the snow-laden Chicago based Griswold house from the first CHRISTMAS VACATION film (the third in the franchise).

His patient and loyal wife Catherine (Miriam Flynn) is still around, and instead of an eclectically messy brood of children he has only one kid, an impatient thirteen-year-old boy who actually has a brain. This uptight jerk keeps riding dad on his lack of intelligence, and thus becomes the most annoying character, especially since he wants Eddie to be like everyone else.

Also on board is the original Audrey Griswold, played by the lovely Dana Barron instead of CHRISTMAS Audrey Juliette Lewis... Audrey is frantically brokenhearted over a boyfriend, joins Eddie, his wife, son, and grumpy grandfather (Ed Asner) on the island vacation that soon turns into a Swiss Family Robinson when their boat gets shipwrecked.

Dana Barron and Sun Hi Lee

Eddie has to learn to hunt wild boar and build a hut of leaves, and eventually fly a plane. There are but a few unsuccessfully signature moments that made Cousin Eddie famously sloppy from the previous films, especially because there’s no Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) to act as a Felix to counter-balance Eddie’s Oscar. Plus, this is supposedly a Christmas Vacation, but there’s hardly any sign of Christmas anywhere.

One scene after another, the movie keeps getting worse, and yet, somehow, you won’t be able to stop watching. So let’s enjoy some more pictures featuring Dana Barron… She’s the reason this reviewer paid any attention at all…

Dana Barron's Audrey attempts to console herself with the wrong book

Dana Barron's Audrey helps prepare a meal

Dana Barron's Audrey's in love with an unfit Australian guy

Miriam Flynn and Dana Barron

Dana Barron's Audrey spots a rescue plane

Miriam Flynn and Dana Barron in a crashing plane