 |
| Unsung Scream Queen Connie Nelson circa 1971 Score: ** |
DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN: The
worst thing about this Al Adamson doozy... involving monologue-driven
mad scientist J. Carrol Naish working out of a carnival fun house with
an axe-wielding idiot man-child, Lon Chaney, sent to kill women for
experiments to give his other employee, a brooding Count Dracula,
eternal life...
All the while reanimating Frankenstein's monster who
resembles a melted cabbage... is that it can be quite boring with
tedious bouts of dialogue, spouted mostly by two love-struck heroes: a
man helping his new girlfriend (after pictured beauty Connie Nelson's killed with Gary Kent) to find her lost sister and eventually
happening upon... everything mentioned, plus Adamson's SATAN'S SADIST biker leader Russ Tamblyn returning on wheels. But, somehow, it can be
surprisingly involving too. And really, really awful... but that's a
given.
 |
| Lon Chaney Jr. with Jill Banner Year: 1967 Rating: *** |
SPIDER BABY AKA THE MADDEST STORY EVER TOLD: Whenever there's a horror film about a backwoods family of dimwitted yet
dangerous loons, it's usually compared to, or accused for stealing
from, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE... but no longer...
This beloved cult curio bordering on savage slasher and old fashion comedy-horror, written
and directed by Jack Hill, stars Lon Chaney as the
caretaker of two lethal sisters and their lanky, lughead brother played
by scene-stealer Sid Haig, is not only groundbreaking and shocking, but
lots of fun. Most of the fear is implied: as outsiders visit the house,
will Lon be able to stop the twisted clan including cult starlet Beverly Washburn and the gorgeous, most lethal and titular Jill
Banner, using knives like spider's teeth... from murdering them?
Although things drag in the middle, it's still a minor classic... albeit a bit often too sporadically silly and cartoonish for its own good, or, bad... either most likely entirely intentional.
 |
| The greatest horror costume ever Year: 1959 Rating: *1/2 |
THE ALLIGATOR PEOPLE: Take
away one scene where Lon Chaney Jr., as a loco bayou local, tries
raping the main character, a woman who's sought out a rural mansion to
where her supposedly dead husband might be hiding out...
This infamous creature feature, about a
man who is turning into an alligator thanks to a (yet another) mad
scientist, is a complete, unsatisfying dud. The makeup is almost as silly as the
sluggish pace, although the climactic creature is worth a few laughs.
But overall this one sinks to the bottom of the swamp: and stays there.
 |
| Beverly Garland does a Home Alone reaction to the gator masked menace of ALLIGATOR PEOPLE |
 |
| John Bloom and Regina Carrol to have and hold in DRACULA VS FRANKENSTEIN |
 |
| The gorgeous Jill Banner as the titular killer babe in SPIDER BABY |
 |
| Richard Crane and Beverly Garland in The Alligator People |
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