EXTREMELY BELATED REVIEW OF SNATCHED

YEAR: 2017

Here's a double-edged question: Is the first thirty-minutes of SNATCHED weak and flimsy because the characters end up going on a dangerous adventure... Or are these characters so flimsy and weak from the get-go that they have to be thrown into deadly peril?

Well it's 50/50 here. Not much is done to "flesh out" these ladies who are SNATCHED from their balmy vacation, other than showing both are fish-outta-water in a hostile region of Columbia... But who wouldn't be? 

Chunky Amy and Goldie Oldie SCORE: **1/2

The latest Will Ferrell movie, THE HOUSE, uses the comedic device of the lead character accidentally wreaking bloody ultra-violence on bad guys in a better, funnier fashion...

And although this was a few months earlier, and even the opening expository message spoils that our two starlets will provide the most havoc on others, Amy Schumer's new blunt, brash and robust "trainwreck" has little to no reason to surprise the audience with a sudden tough streak. Meanwhile, her mom, played by formerly famous cutie Goldie Hawn, looking somewhat pieced-together but not too embarrassingly surgically-altered, isn't a strong enough "Straight Man" Woman to either annoy or exhaust her perpetually annoyed and exhausted daughter, who seems more like a one-dimensional grouch (she was dumped by her beau) than a heroine to survive with and root for. Then there's Amy's brother/Goldie's son trying too hard to steal the show with neo-nerdy-sarcasm. And, yet, surprisingly enough, for a God-awful team-up, there's enough banal crapola to keep us bad-movie-sadists somewhat intrigued — to see how much worse it'll get. And it does!