SEE NO EVIL

title: SEE NO EVIL

year: 1971

cast: Mia Farrow

rating: **1/2

Terrific build-up has a blind woman, played wonderfully by Mia Farrow, being reintroduced to her childhood home, literally feeling out the location where her entire family will be murdered, bodies strewn here and there, and she doesn't even know it. The peak of Richard Fleischer's direction are the scenes in which Mia's in the dark, but when she realizes the situation and runs for her life, hunted by the mysterious, faceless, boot-clad killer across a not-so-barren landscape, it becomes a tediously exhausting chase leading to a bland, anti-climactic conclusion.

ALBERT NOBBS

title: Albert Nobbs
year: 2011
cast: Glenn Close, Janet McTeer, Mia Wasikowska
rating: ***

Glenn Close, resembling an aged Peter Pan mixed with Levon Helm (Sissy Spacek’s father) in COAL MINER’S DAUGHTER, has some good moments: especially when reflecting on a childhood experience which led to… for means of employment but, as we eventually realize, deeper reasons… becoming a man who works in a 19th century Irish Hotel. But most of the time she’s got the countenance of a frightened deer, and seems too old for the part. And Mia Wasikowska as Helen, the gorgeous hotel maid that Albert loves, is too young – making the age difference feel odd to not only the audience, but Helen as well. Perhaps this is intentional: Albert’s yearning to find her, or rather, his place in the world – and dreams of owning a Tobacco Store – seem as farfetched as landing Helen as a future wife, who’s in love with a brash young drifter displaying all the negative aspects of the male species: including charm! But the best character, and the glue to the entire picture, is Janet McTeer as “Mr. Moore,” a confident freelance painter whose secret mirrors Albert’s. The scenes where both discover their true identity (to each other) are more surprising to the characters than the audience, since they really don’t look like men: but the acting, especially one hilarious scene as both go for an awkward stroll dressed like elegant women, makes it all seem genuine. And the biggest achievement is turning one contained setting – the posh Hotel – into a world of its own: giving each player their own importance therein.

THE GREY

title: The Grey
year: 2011
cast: Liam Neeson
rating: **

Never has a cast of characters so deserved to suffer – they’re just begging for it...

That being a rowdy group of oil drilling roughnecks in Alaska, and one man, played by a brooding Liam Neeson, hired to keep wolves off the premises who, after a plane crash, are all left vulnerable to a surrounding pack: yellow eyes glowing in the dark like a cartoon and growls more befitting the MGM lion.

The camera shakes around so much the fanged antagonists are practically unseen, and thus, not very frightening. It’s basically a wraithlike feeding frenzy of shouting, screaming, and kicking to stay alive.

Eventually the body count dwindles to four survivors, and  a few of the performances stand out beyond Neeson’s maverick: especially Frank Grillo as an existential badass who can’t admit he’s scared to death.

Even the well-acted campfire scenes, as the men expose their soft side in the face of doom, drag so long you'll forget what the movie's about. Till the growling continues and the group ventures further towards… where exactly? Since no one had much of a life to begin with, it’s hard to imagine, or care about, anyone surviving.

But the main problem is the nerve-wracking direction that, with the jangly, documentary style camerawork, does successfully put you into the situation – only it’s not a place you'll want to be for very long. (For a much better film with practically the same premise, rent THE EDGE, where the characters go through hell, not the audience.)

THE DON IS DEAD

title: THE DON IS DEAD

year: 1973

cast: Anthony Quinn, Robert Forster, Fredric Forrest

rating: **1/2

How could a movie starring Anthony Quinn, Robert Forster, Frederic Forrest, Al Lettieri, directed by Richard Fleischer and centering on cutthroat mobsters miss the mark? Probably because there's not much of a target to begin with. Story centers on a brash climber, played by Forster, who, along with two brothers, Forrest and Letteri, attempt to overthrow a newly-made don, Anthony Quinn, playing white knight to Forster's beautiful, and abused, girlfriend who dreams of being a famous singer. Melodrama befitting a TV movie-of-the-week makes for a lotta whistling in the cemetery: and not a catchy tune. There are so many twists (everyone wants to kill everyone) you'll forget there's any destination at all. And although Robert Forster goes from a temperamental jerk to woman abuser that the audience winds up rooting against, he's much more likable than Quinn, a brooding know it all. There are some decent gunfights but way too much exposition in-between.

THE GOLDEN CHILD

title: THE GOLDEN CHILD

year: 1986

starring: Eddie Murphy

rating: **

In 1986, it was time for superstar Eddie Murphy to fully establish himself after three big hits: 48 HRS. where he proved his worth as a substantial actor, TRADING PLACES as a cinematic funnyman, and BEVERLY HILLS COP as both at the same time. (We'll just forget about his strategic guest star turn in BEST DEFENSE). The world was poised to see him again: He was beloved.... He was "it." So for his next role he plays an "investigator" hired to find Tibet's GOLDEN CHILD: a bald boy with magical powers to make Pepsi cans dance and to bring back parrots to life. Eddie battles flying demons, talks smack to a (literal) dragon lady, wields a magic sword, and all the while tries maintaining the street-smart charm that made him so popular. This film is like hobo stew... if you get sick eating it, there are so many ingredients: what exactly is to blame? Either way, it wasn't a wise choice for Murphy... Although he'd make up for it in COMING TO AMERICA.

MOVING

title: MOVING
year: 1988
cast: Richard Pryor
rating: ***

Sure, it's yet another everything-bad-happens-to-the-main-character family film but there's enough going on, at all times, to make this work despite the cliches. Although star Richard Pryor is showing signs of the horrible disease that would eventually end his career, and life, he's got gusto as he loses his job and eventually moves his family to another state. Dealing with crooked movers, obnoxious next-door neighbors (both played by Randy Quaid), a frustrated family and just about everything save locusts and falling frogs, Pryor keeps us both rooting for him (to succeed) and against him (to have more misadventurous bad luck) at the same time.

REPLICANT

title: Replicant
year: 2001
cast: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Michael Rooker
rating: ***1/2

Here’s a really cool action movie that might distract or detract certain viewers because of Jean-Claude Van Damme, known for starring in banal and/or intentionally simplistic kung fu flicks – and at this point, 2001, his star was beginning to fade. But he’s great in a duel-role as a stone cold serial killer (with an INXS hairdo) and a Replicant of that psychopath created by the government to give tough cop, and the true main character, Michael Rooker clues on catching the real thing. The OF MICE AND MEN like chemistry works great between the two leads, reminiscent of CAGE where Reb Brown babysits a brain-damaged Lou Ferrigno: Rooker balancing anger and patience while the initially childlike double becomes more in tune with the situation at hand... as memories return of the previous murders... but the psychopath gets inside his vulnerable mind: turning him, and all his primal strength, to the dark side. Sounds complicated but it isn’t – and with Asian icon (and one of Quentin Tarantino’s main influences) Ringo Lam behind the camera, it shouldn’t be a surprise that this is an action film that could have wallowed in your typical macho simplicity, but keeps an intriguing and involving aura from start to finish.

EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE

title: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close 
year: 2011
cast: Thomas Horn, Tom Hanks
rating: ***

Kids in life-affirming movies usually know way too much for their age – seeming invented by writers who put their own intellectual spin on youth. And here’s the champion of that particular breed, Thomas Horn as Oskar Schell, a brainy, adventurous "inventor" who loses his creative-muse father, played by Tom Hanks, on the infamous September 11th 2001 aka 911. Much of the film is a human scavenger hunt: after finding a key in dad’s closet, Oskar roams (a bit too freely) through New York City to find the person with the last name BLACK, the name written on the key's envelope, to find out what it opens. Going back and forth from the present, a year later, to the dreaded 911 morning serves not only a platform for the kid's emotions, but provides Tom Hanks with a moving performance: and it’s all a voice on an answering machine, trying desperately to reach his son while stranded in one of the ill-fated twin towers. Max Von Sydow plays a mysterious old man who doesn’t speak, aiding Oskar in his seemingly hopeless quest that gets less interesting as the film wares on. Thomas Horn, while being a very talented young actor, seems a bit too theater-trained; and his whining screech gets tiresome. Sandra Bullock provides filler as the put-upon mother with a secret all her own. And the conclusion, intentionally anticlimactic but ultimately making the characters feel good, might not serve the audience who suffered through, and hoped for, a resolution far more... complete. With creative direction and a uniquely suspenseful quest, it’s a decent movie for a first viewing, but probably not something you’ll want (or need) to watch a second time.

CARNAGE

title: CARNAGE
year: 2011
cast: Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, John C. Reilly, Christoph Waltz
rating: ***1/2

In Roman Polanski’s first feature film, KNIFE IN THE WATER, he kept us interested in three people on a small boat. Cut to many years later: four people are bickering inside a tiny apartment consisting of two couples in a particularly uncomfortable situation: Jodie Foster and John C. Reilly’s son was beat up by the son of Kate Winslet and Christoph Waltz, and they plan to work it out. The first half… what should be called a “round”… sticks close to the issue at hand – after which, when the characters get unraveled and eventually drunk, the conversation embodies a broader scope: each neurotic personality shown in the light. Jodie Foster, as the most uptight and opinionated member of the group, fares well as the story's instigator but eventually goes overboard as the stress mounts; while Kate Winslet provides a few good moments but is otherwise limited by the results of a reoccurring stomach flu. Christoph Waltz, as a blunt, metronomic lawyer, is glued to his cell phone, which becomes an important character in itself. But it’s John C. Reilly, as Foster’s working class husband spouting the funniest and most unpredictable lines, who really steals the show. The first round works best – the dialog's lively and fresh with the actors in peak form. But after a while, and a few shots of bourbon, the atmosphere gets a bit too stagey and we forget, like the characters, about the purpose of the meeting. And beware of an extremely… abrupt… ending.

HAYWIRE

year: 2012 cast: Gina Carano, Michael Fassbender, Ewan McGregor rating: ***

A year after Steven Soderbergh directed a searing drama about people dropping dead from a horrible virus, someone must have told him to take a vacation – and here it is: a bombastic “paid holiday” for rogue government agent Mallory, both the hunted and hunter while various co-agents, including Michael Fassbender and Channing Tatum, attempt punching her lights out. Nice try, fellas.

In the lead role, Gina Carano, delivering lines in a constant monotone and not always adding the right amount of glib charm that's essential for endearing action/espionage characters, does kick ass with genuine style and velocity.

A retro soundtrack, seeming as if Quentin Tarantino wound up directing a James Bond film, keeps the pace steady and lean. And while Soderbuergh rolls the camera a bit too long during scenes where Mallory ambles from one dangerous setting to the next, it’s somewhat reminiscent of flicks like BULLITT where downtime serves a necessary platform for each action sequence: which are plentiful.

On the peripheral... Bill Paxton as her novelist father, Antonio Banderas as a cautious connection, and Michael Douglas as the Washington D.C. insider provide filler cameos, but it’s Ewan McGregor’s slick operative who really matters – till our wraith-like anti-heroine, a character deserving of more adventures, moves in, once again, for the kill.

RED TAILS

year: 2012 cast: David Oyelowo, Nate Parker, Cuba Gooding Jr. rating: **

Anyone familiar with the George Lucas Productions of the past fifteen years won’t be surprised the special effects exceed the storyline – although the story itself is a great one because it’s true: centering on The Tuskegee Airmen, a unit of African American pilots given a chance to fly missions during the Second World War.

But there’s no real plot (or plots) within the important history lesson, only one-dimensional characters that, while understandably motivated to overcome racism and prove their worth as pilots, hang around the barracks either complaining about the initially peripheral missions or spouting banter straight from a sitcom, and not a funny one.

Two characters work together the best: Nate Parker as “Easy,” the insecure squad leader constantly attempting restraint on the maverick hotshot pilot “Lightning” (Han Solo anyone?) who, when not part of a superfluous romance with a local Italian villager/supermodel, takes way too many chances in the sky where the film truly belongs, unhindered by wasted side-characters and a quickie subplot involving a German Gulag.

And while the dialog remains cheesy and cartoonish during the dogfights, each battle, replete with C.G.I. but still looking quite real, provides a new challenge for the men – it's just too bad we don’t get to know them better on the ground to make their achievements really matter.

WHITE HEAT

title: WHITE HEAT
year: 1949
cast: James Cagney, Virginia Mayo, Edmund O'Brien
rating: ****1/2

Several stories here: and James Cagney stars in each as "Cody Jarrett," possibly the most sinister and at the same time, endearing gangsters to appear on the big screen One story centers on the leader of a group of thugs who rob a train and and hide out. One is about the demented son of a overbearing, meticulously wicked mother who will protect her boy till the bitter end. One is about the husband of a two-timing gun moll Virgina Mayo, holding out for a taller, handsome thug who wants Jarrett out of the way. One is about a prisoner slowly conned by an undercover cop in the big house. And that's the best story of all. Edmund O'Brien is the "narc" who eventually gains Cagney's trust. Their relationship, as the two bond behind bars, is the highlight. And although O'Brien, after a jailbreak, turns his back on Cody much too quickly during the famous "top of the world" climax, this perfectly solid classic gangster film... the peak of Cagney's tough guy career... is like reading a multilevel book you can't put down. Cagney performance is top-notch and not just when he's suffering from those horrible headaches, causing him to writhe on the ground like a poisoned viper. It's the subtle moments that count, because after all, it's his world we're in: and he's not going down without a fight. Thank God it's two hours in length, yet it could have been much longer.

LADY KILLER

title: LADY KILLER
year: 1933
cast: James Cagney
rating: ***

James Cagney plays a smart-aleck usher at a movie theater: his character’s geared towards the lights, camera and action from the very start. But he’s quickly derailed, conned by a beautiful siren into a rigged card game – but instead of getting angry and kicking ass, he joins, and eventually leads, the group into a bigger heist that lands them in real dough, and real trouble. After his fair-weather friends betray him, Cagney hides out in Los Angeles and soon becomes an extra on a movie lot. This is where the ridiculousness begins – seeing Cagney riding a horse in Indian get-up, with fake scenery moving behind him, is a highlight. Then, as our cocky hero falls for a famous (and humble) film starlet, and soon becomes a top-billed movie star on his own, his unlucky life begins to pan out: but those double-crossing wise guys return and want a piece of his action. A fun distraction in the Cagney crime film canon, and you have to continuously suspend disbelief to really enjoy it: especially scenes showing the fictional movies – or one silly segment as he provides his girlfriend with monkeys and a painted elephant on her birthday. But as a wise cracking con artist beneath the polished veneer, it’s all about enjoying Cagney even in a silly role, because no matter what the part: he always takes it seriously.

BLONDE CRAZY

title: BLONDE CRAZY
year: 1931
cast: James Cagney, Joan Blondell, Louis Calhern
rating: ***1/2

What is it about James Cagney – he brings out the best, and worst, of his leading ladies: the best performances and the worst attitudes – and Joan Blondell’s dealing with Cagney’s conniving “Bert Harris” is half the fun of this 1930’s comedy/melodrama dealing with Harris, a suave hotel employee who sees the right girl is hired: and it’s the blonde bombshell Joan, as “Anne Roberts,” who fits the bill. She’s not only sought after by Harris, but seedy rich guys melt at her feet. Here’s where our climbing antihero sees his future planned out: and together this made-in-heaven match goes from one sucker till the next, swindling relativity small time cash till meeting Louis Calhern, a successful con artist with a big apple for the duo: and a bigger worm inside. One scene involving a horse race and revenge against Calhern is confusing, and not all the con games are too clever, but the chemistry between the Cagney and Blondell, and the hidden desire for his platonic partner that slowly comes to light, is what makes this really shine. A very young Ray Milland plays Joan’s sophisticated new gent – making Cagney realize what, or rather, whom his drive’s been centered. And while a tacked-on “crime will pay” ending is a letdown, the rest works just fine: Especially a pre-Code bathtub scene with Blondell that’s quite… revealing.

TAXI

title: TAXI!
year: 1932
cast: James Cagney, Loretta Young
rating: ***

Begins as a predictable, clichéd melodrama dealing with the haves… a monopolizing consortium cab company… against the have-nots: independent cabbies trying to make it on their own without getting killed in the process. But soon the message peels away into an involving gangster-driven fare with James Cagney, uttering his famous “You Dirty Rat” line despite movie trivia saying otherwise. In one scene he says very loudly: "Come out and take it, you dirty, yellow-bellied rat, or I'll give it to you through the door!" This, to film historians, has been mistakingly condensed into the famous three word motto. But in the beginning of the film, as Cagney’s exciting his cab – sandwiched between two trucks – he does in fact mutter under his breath: “You dirty rat!” (watch and listen closely to the linked video for proof). Now for the movie itself, which gets better as the more stress enters Cagney’s life – thugs from the consortium move in, and every woman, from the good to the bad, annoy the hell out of him: providing the famous firebrand the usual classic tantrums. Cagney’s character… hard boiled cabbie Matt Nolan… is like most of Cagney’s tough guys, he’s angrier here than ever. He's fighting the good fight here and you'll back him all the way, so much so the other characters seem nonexistent when he's on, or off, the screen.

 

WINNER TAKE ALL

title: WINNER TAKE ALL
year: 1932
cast: James Cagney
rating: ***

James Cagney plays a down-and-out boxer named Jimmy Kane who, from the outset, isn’t boxing. Not only has he reached rock bottom but swallows his pride as a crowd of roaring fans during fight night… someone else’s fight… throws him loads of change to get by. Cagney’s manager sends him to New Mexico to recuperate, where he meets former nightclub waitress/single mother who, as fate would have it, is about to lose her home unless she has… the exact amount of money it would take for Cagney to get back into the ring: only he does it without being persuaded. The title of the movie fits this pivotal bout and thus the film truly begins: Kane's back in the city on a winning streak till meeting a conceited, good-for-nothing society girl (are there any other kind?) who takes him for a ride. That ride, for both fans of James Cagney watching the movie and Jimmy Kane fans watching the fights, is very frustrating indeed. Not only does he get plastic surgery to mend his dented palooka puss, but becomes a cowardly “dancing fighter” and worst yet, takes etiquette classes. While not one of Cagney’s best films, it’s great seeing him slugging in the ring with flying fists and the energy of a bionic jumping bean. And his performance as a dimwitted boxer, straying from the usual snarky gangster, has just the right touch of punchy pathos. 

THE COLOR OF MONEY

year: 1986 cast: Paul Newman, Tom Cruise, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Forrest Whitaker rating: ***1/2 

If it’s tough for an audience to put up with an overly cocky Tom Cruise donning a flattop hairdo resembling a greased-up landing strip, and a toothy grin that never ceases, how do you think Paul Newman’s character, a middle-aged Fast Eddie Felson, feels about training him to be a hustler and attempting his own comeback at the same time?

This is what the movie's all about, Felson’s reemergence into the dive pool halls he once frequented in THE HUSTLER, and Cruise, while an important character, is but a cog in that wheel.

Newman gives a performance of a lifetime, mostly in his struggle with Cruise’s egotistical Vince character who has the skills of a pool shark but doesn’t like to lose small to win big. And the road movie aspect... the trio going from pool hall to pool hall while Vince learns the ropes... make for some unrelenting entertainment.

Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, as Vince’s streetwise girlfriend, works better against Newman than with Cruise – and John Turturro makes a few funny appearances as a coked-up player. But the true star is director Martin Scorsese’s direction: the camera gliding with the action of each shot while the sport itself resembles its own majestic religion.

One particular scene, where an underdog Forrest Whitaker subtly hustles the hustler, is a standout. And the entire film keeps a strong pace and, despite Cruise sporadically acting like he’s part of an MTV video, it always delivers as long as you keep your eyes on the main character, Fast Eddie Felson, who reminds us when to feel annoyed or anything else for that matter: it's his ride!

PAPILLON

year: 1973 cast: Steve McQueen, Dustin Hoffman, Don Gordon, Bill Mumy rating: ***1/2

Director Francis J. Schaffner and scriptwriter Dalton Trumbo convert Henri Charriere's riviting biographical novel to the big screen, providing Steve McQueen with a more fleshed-out role than usual and rebooting Dustin Hoffman's minor character in the book to co-star/sidekick on screen. Both have terrific chemistry, especially when they work a swampy chain-gang and eventually plan their escape.

As an examination of the hellish existence in the French penal colonies, and eventually Devil's Island, there's gritty realism held back for mainstream audiences, seeming at times like a television melodrama with some blood and guts thrown in. But as a straight-out adventure flick there's plenty of eventful situations to keep the viewer interested, and completely entertained, in the struggling journey of one tough cookie who refused to stay-put.

THE IRON LADY

title: THE IRON LADY
year: 2012
cast: Meryl Streep, Jim Broadbent
rating: *1/2

During a montage where Margaret Thatcher's rising in the polls and is, for her party at least, on top of her political game, an aggressive punk rock tune blasts over the scene – and it’s against Margaret Thatcher. There you have the underlying tone of this biopic weaving back and forth from an aged Thatcher, hallucinating her dead husband and trying to recall pieces from a jigsaw puzzle life, to the young climber growing up poor, asserting herself as a lone woman amongst the barking men of Parliament, and eventually becoming Prime Minister of England. But we never get to know who she was, what she did, or why she did it; unless you count sporadic jump cuts of mobs protesting against her, which, like that punk song, provides a subliminal cue card to remind the audience how and what to feel, but never why. Now the question: How was Meryl Streep’s performance? Well the iconic actress, donning surprisingly realistic Aged makeup, does a fine job as the older Thatcher struggling to hold her mind together – but it’s impossible to judge her as the historical figure since another actress played the assertive young woman who fought for that place where, by the time Streep takes over, is lost in a jumbled collection of newsreels and pointless monologs... always returning to the old lady suffering the beginning stages of dementia, who, like the film itself, is never quite sure what's going on.

CONTRABAND

title: CONTRABAND
year: 2012
cast: Mark Walhberg, Giovanni Ribisi, Ben Foster
rating: ***1/2

Give us an antihero that’s gonna break the law for a substantial reason and not only can anything happen, but the audience will embrace it with open arms. But prepare to sustain disbelief through this action/suspense yarn involving a freshly retired contraband smuggler who, because of his brother-in-law's involvement in the same trade but with unlucky results, returns to his old life to straighten things out. It’s a piece of cake… with exploding candles… as Mark Walhberg goes from ship to land back to ship: dodging bullets, tricking drug dealers, and getting smashed up… after which the real fun begins. Old school melodrama envelopes the b-story as his wife and two children, vulnerably at odds with grimy, over the top mobster Giovanni Ribisi – but the suspense relies on how the ex smuggler can figure to sneak stuff through without being caught, and most importantly, to save his family as the goons move in. Wahlberg carries the movie with more cool than edge, and even when the story gets mazy and convoluted, he’s a genuine enough protagonist to make everything seem precisely clear: exactly when it needs to be. And welcome back veteran actor William Lucking to a big budget movie, looking perfectly gruff as Walhberg’s imprisoned father.

TRUCK STOP WOMEN

year: 1974 cast: Lieux Dressler, Claudia Jennings, John Martino rating: ***

Right from the start, Mark L. Lester knew how to direct vapid movies with the precision of a genius maverick. Or something.

The often confusing, maze-like plot has a band of truck stop women i.e. waitress/whores running their own trucking company, fighting against the corporate-backed mob (or is it a mob-backed corporation?) who wants to take over their lucrative operation.

While seemingly a Claudia Jennings exploitation film, this really stars Lieux Dressler as the head of the trucker-loving hookers, who doesn't trust her sexy, jealous daughter, Claudia, running around with gangster John Martino ("Paulie" from THE GODFATHER).

After suffering past the first half, so tailor-made for a drive-in audience one forgets to actually pay attention, you'll be drawn in as the good girls vs. bad guys battle ensues: including machine guns, road chases and lots of great explosions.

BUY TRUCK STOP WOMEN ON DVD

LIFEGUARD

year: 1976 cast: Sam Elliott, Ann Archer, Stephen Young rating: ****1/2

A film as laidback as the title and occupation, but for lifeguard Sam Elliott, who seems a part of the beach he protects, there's plenty to do other than "bedding down babes" and looking good shirtless.

At thirty-three years old, with pressure from friends, family, lovers, and even acquaintances, he's forced to deal with the realization he's not a kid anymore.

All this leading to his fifteen-year high school reunion where he gets back in touch with ex-sweetheart and now single mom Anne Archer who runs a successful art gallery, and old buddy Stephen Young, co-owner of a Porsche dealership.

Might Sam be more suited as a husband, stepfather and car salesman than a tan-toned lady-killer lifeguard? This is an entertainment piece mixing comedy, drama, romance, but most of all it's a character-study: each element blending perfectly, mostly thanks to our mustached, deep-voiced star, one of the coolest cats in cinema.

The romance between Sam Elliott and Ann Archer is sweethearted and genuine, but the best scenes have Sam the maverick, not only making it with the ladies but relaxing all alone, watching the beach before anyone else arrives.

Parker Stevenson makes a good sidekick for Elliott, who teaches him, and the audience, the job is harder than you'd think.

So BAYWATCH brought lifeguards to a comic book (although very entertaining) status, LIFEGUARD provides a story where the occupation and the man are one in the same.

ZACK AND THE MAGIC FACTORY

title: ZACK AND THE MAGIC FACTORY
year: 1981
cast: Jim Gatherum, Olivia Barash
rating: ***

Those long gone and sorely missed ABC Weekend Specials, the introduction with the animated wizard conjuring butterflies flying from an open book, snared the attention of many youngsters who, at a certain point on Saturday Morning, wanted something beyond cartoons i.e. real humans and real stories but not without a touch of whim and fantasy:

Like in this creative two-part episode about a spectacle-wearing kid, Zack, visiting his Aunt’s dilapidated magic factory that, while shabby on the outside, harbors cool tricks by two talented magicians.

REPO MAN ingénue Olivia Barash, then a child actress who appeared in TV shows ranging from THE INCREDIBLE HULK to LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE, is a magician’s daughter that joins Zack in trying to rescue the building from a geeky yet sinister tax attorney, who, with the aid of a bitter custodian, tries closing it down for good.

Meanwhile Zack, despite being bullied at school, plans a big magic show in the school auditorium, and with Olivia as his assistant they have but one shot at saving the beloved old factory.

A pretty good storyline and likable characters will keep you interested in the turnout, and best of all, there’s a lotta cool magic tricks.

CHILD OF GLASS

title: CHILD OF GLASS
year: 1978
cast: Steve Shaw, Katy Kurtzman, Olivia Barash
rating: ***1/2

While it's perplexed adults for centuries, the children in Disney films seem to have grasped the Meaning of Life… at least in their eyes: When something needs discovering, discover it! In this made for TV movie, a family moves into an antebellum mansion once owned by a river pirate. The mother and father are about as important as those mushmouthed teachers in Peanuts cartoons – this is all about the curious son Alexander, played by the late Steve Shaw, who meets the niece of a local palm reader. And as the young adventurous "Blossom Culp," Katy Kurtzman creates a memorably quirky tomboy: Donning glasses and dressed like a traveling orphan, she determinedly riles Alexander into seeking the truth behind the mansion's history. But he gets the prime directive on his own with the help of a blue-hued ghost. The daughter of the mansion’s former owner, “Ida Dumaine” died mysteriously and, to acquire eternal rest, provides a riddle that desperately needs solving. Cult actress Olivia Barash, as the lovely little wraith holding a fluffy dog, makes sporadic yet important appearances, and at one point turns human for a heartfelt slow dance during a party, later providing a dog/cat chase to add some lightweight hijinx to the underlying spooky vibe… especially with the dependably villanious Anthony Zerbe on board. But even with the suspenseful chills, it's a great movie for kids, especially creative ones.

BLACK DYNAMITE

title: BLACK DYNAMITE
year: 2009
cast: Michael Jai White
rating: **

In my interview with actress Gloria Hendry, who co-starred in classic Blaxploitation films BLACK BELT JONES, BLACK CAESAR, HELL UP IN HARLEM, ACROSS 110th STREET, and SLAUGHTER’S BIG RIPOFF, she said the demise of that particular genre, immensely popular in the early seventies and putting talented African American actors and actresses to work, had to do with groups that felt Blaxplotation films catered to, and lionized, clichéd stereotypes of the black community. Well here, thirty years later, a movie pokes fun at these traits more than celebrates them. Blaxploitations were low-budget movies that wielded quick zooms and shaky-camera techniques, funky music and piles of melodrama, and not a second goes by in BLACK DYNAMITE that we’re reminded of these particularities: the actors go overboard on purpose, as does the music while the camera struggles to zero in on the action or characters. Musclebound hero Michael Jai White looks great in the role, and there are times, especially during the karate scenes as he takes down every goon in his path… seeking the bad guys who killed his little brother in a drug deal… that it could have easily turned into a genuine action film instead of grasping too tight on the parody template. What the audience, and especially the underrated Michael Jai White, truly deserved was what Quentin Tarantino provided with JACKIE BROWN: a loving homage to the works of groundbreaking directors like Jack Hill and Larry Cohen… and blaxpl-icons like Pam Grier, Fred Williamson, Jim Kelly and Jim Brown… instead of an overlong comedy skit that tries too hard for laughs, forgetting what those movies were really about: great actors, great music, great action, and creative storylines.The bottom line is: BLACK DYNAMITE is a movie that doesn't have a real identity... It's not funny enough to be an AIRPLANE or NAKED GUN, and not interesting enough to be a TRUCK TURNER or... you name it.

BEGINNERS

title: BEGINNERS
year: 2011
cast: Ewan McGregor, Christopher Plummer
rating: **

If Gus Van Sant directed Cameron Crowe’s SINGLES, you’d have BEGINNERS, or pieces of it: like whenever Ewan McGregor, as a brooding thirty-eight year old single artist whose dying father comes out of the closet, contemplates life: making up most of the screen time with an intoxicating art-house rhythm and a bouquet of devises (other than narration) to tell what the main character’s feeling… using photographs, graffiti, or a Jack Russell Terrier’s subtitles… but the ponderous navel-gazing gets tiresome. And while Christopher Plummer turns in a good performance as the dying man embracing his new gay lifestyle (although his own personal situation often branches off into a distracting propaganda), and Ewan McGregor maintains a dependable subtlety taking on a new horizon… consisting of a relationship with an artsy French girl more troubled than he is… they’re not interesting enough characters to make up for a nonexistent plot, which, being so obviously intentional by director Mike Ness, makes sense in its own unique fashion. It's just too bad the characters are too proverbially dressed up to be genuinely fleshed out, making for a visual pleasing but ultimately vacant experience. And yet, as vacant experiences go, this one has a heart beating, somewhere...

ALLIGATOR

title: ALLIGATOR

year: 1980

cast: Robert Forster, Robin Riker, Henry Silva

rating: ****

Robert Forster can make just about anything work, including a b-movie about a giant Alligator invading the streets of Los Angeles. Arthouse guru John Sayles began as a screenwriter for monster movies like this and PIRANHA, both JAWS-like but with identities of their own. Beginning with a baby gator flushed down a toilet, we cut ten years later to a mystery involving nuclear waste and dead stray dogs, leading to the investigation by Forster, a detective haunted by his own past. This first part, before the beast goes to town, is intriguing and involving, and it's Forster, searching through sewers and city streets, that keeps it in line. Not to forget dependable performances by Robin Riker as a reptile specialist/love interest, Bart Braverman as a snoopy journalist, Henry Silva as a Great White Hunter, Michael V. Gazzo as a police chief, and Dean Jagger as the greedy capitalist behind everything. The alligator itself, mechanical and not the computerized stuff modern audiences are used to, still looks cool and menacing... but it's the actors, and the story, that makes this a minor classic. 

THE BOY IN THE PLASTIC BUBBLE

title: THE BOY IN THE PLASTIC BUBBLE

year: 1976

cast: John Travolta, Robert Reed, Glynnis O'Connor

rating: ***1/2

A cute little boy born without immunities has to live in a plastic bubble and grows up to be John Travolta, who not only disco dances with his pet hamster but eventually, wearing an orange space suit, goes to high school and falls in love with the girl next door. One of the most tortuously bizarre television movies in history and a lot of fun. In one scene Travolta is carted in a plastic incubator to a beach party and is riled by fellow teens; another he's discussing masturbation to a cancer patient. Yet despite the high degree of camp value, this classic time-capsule from the seventies is also thoroughly involving, entertaining, and won't bore you for a single moment: mostly thanks to Glynnis O'Connor as Travolta's love-interest, looking beyond fantastic and providing our ailing hero a chance for possible freedom. (And to read my interview with Seth Wagerman, who played "the boy" in the film before aging into Travolta, click here.)

TEXAS LIGHTNING

title: TEXAS LIGHNTING
year: 1981
cast: Cameron Mitchell, Channing Mitchell, Maureen McCormick
rating: *1/2

Exploitation cinematographer turned director Gary Graver's meandering mess about three rambunctious drunken men who go hunting, one of them, Cameron Mitchell, bringing his passive son, Cameron Mitchell Jr. aka Channing Mitchell who, along the way, meets sexy bartender Maureen McCormick (Marcia from THE BRADY BUNCH) and he gets lucky. But she gets unlucky as two of the adults barge in, and its here the film becomes what Graver knows best, exploitation, but without any shock or realism. And even as the suddenly not-so-passive son gets his own style of revenge against the drunkards in the desert, the suspense builds at such a sluggish pace it's like watching paint dry on your eyelids... and with really bad colors.

HIGH ROLLING IN A HOT CORVETTE

year: 1977 cast: Joseph Bottoms, Judy Davis, Grigor Taylor rating: ***

Joseph Bottoms, brother of Timothy (THE LAST PICTURE SHOW) and Sam (APOCALYPSE NOW) and co-star of the Disney science fiction classic THE BLACK HOLE, shines as a talkative lady-killer Carny/Cowboy who, along with his boxer buddy, hits the road in the beautiful Australian countryside. They frolic without a care in the world, get picked up by a guy in a green corvette, and wouldn't you know: they steal it.

A very fun, highly involving road film that keeps rolling as the duo, along with young hitchhiker Judy Davis (in her first role), go from one sticky situation to the next, eventually deciding to become modern-day outlaws. But the guy who owns the corvette, who happens to be a dangerous thug, is right on their tail: and he ain't happy.

Actually titled HIGH ROLLING, but sometimes renames are even better.

BONNIE'S KIDS

title: BONNIE'S KIDS

year: 1973

cast: Tiffany Bolling, Robin Mattson, Scott Brady

rating: **

Two gorgeous blonde sisters, daughters of a long-dead woman named Bonnie, kill their molesting step-father and live with their uncle in a fancy ranch. Big sis ends up on the run with a handsome rogue (and a briefcase of cash) while little sis stays put, dealing with taboo temptation and other bedroom stuff more intriguing than her sibling's town-to-town odyssey: basically a cat and mouse chase against two FBI agents dumber than a box of led. Some great camera shots and hints of a blaxploitation soundtrack (although this is anything but) keep things somewhat rolling... but on a nowhere road.

THE STRANGER

title: THE STRANGER

year: 1946

cast: Edward G. Robinson, Orson Welles, Loretta Young

rating: ***1/2

Orson Welles plays an intense but, on the surface, friendly school teacher about to marry the beautiful daughter of a renown judge in a small town epitomizing post-war America. He's the perfect man: brilliant, handsome, and determined, with only one drawback - he's a former Nazi. On top of which he still believes in "the cause." But he keeps this secret from everyone including Edward G. Robinson (a role originally planned for Agnes Moorehead), an FBI agent posing as an antique collector who soon discovers the real identity but needs proof to move in. There's a lot of melodrama and unrealistic situations, but the camerawork, especially Welle's use of shadows and the climax involving a clock tower, makes this, if anything else, a visual masterpiece: and one of the few box-office successes in the maverick auteur's artistically brilliant but financially unsuccessful directorial career.

SHORT EYES

title: SHORT EYES

year: 1977

cast: Luis Perez, Tito Goya, Bruce Davison

rating: *****

The centerpiece of this, the ultimate ensemble prison drama, isn't the child molester aka "Short Eyes" (Bruce Davison) put into a cell-block of tough convicts who, after finding out his crime, turn the premises into their own courtroom, but a young handsome Puerto Rican nicknamed Cupcakes, played by the late Tito Goya, who has to deal with - or take advice from - these same toughies before, during and after the molester's story becomes center stage. While not the main character, Goya's youthful protagonist provides the core of the boiling pot involving a bevy of eclectic, dangerous cons from a tough Italian (Joseph Carberry), a stubborn black muslim (Don Blakey), a sexually-driven Puerto Rican (Shawn Elliott), two laidback but badass African Americans (Nathan George, Ken Steward), and the film's true star: a good-hearted Rican "idealist," played brilliantly by Luis Perez, who feels called-upon to protect Goya and the molester both. Based on the play by Miguel Pinero, who portrays an antagonistic prisoner, all one can say is: you have to see it to believe it. And a soulful "singalong" with Curtis Mayfield and Freddie Fenders adds soul to the brash proceedings.

THE HAPPENING

title: THE HAPPENING

year: 2008

cast: Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, Betty Buckley

rating: *

To quote the iconic Buffalo Springfield tune, "There's something happening here, what it is ain't exactly clear." These lyrics sum up half the film, where people back East are mysteriously going crazy and soon-after committing suicide. After the cause is known, something having to do with the environment "fighting back," it's a lot of running around... And the once prolific writer/director M. Night Shyamalan seems to have run out of ideas and creativity. Relying on cheap camera work and cheesy dialog, he claims this as a purposeful b-movie liken to the early work of George Romero and David Cronenberg, low-budget classics relying heavily on character-development: something this film has little to nothing of. Eventually the survivors end up in a rural house inhabited by an old creepy woman played by Betty Buckley, providing the only chilling moments that don't last long enough.

DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN

title: DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN
year: 1971

cast: J. Carrol Naish, Lon Chaney, Gary Kent, Connie Nelson

rating: **

The worst thing about this Al Adamson doozy... involving monolog-driven mad scientist J. Carrol Naish working out of a carnival fun house with an axe-wielding idiot man-child, Lon Chaney, sent to kill women for experiments to give his other employee, a brooding Count Dracula, eternal life, all the while reanimating Frankenstein's monster who resembles a melted cabbage... is that it can be quite boring with tedious bouts of dialog, spouted mostly by two love-struck heroes: a man helping his new girlfriend find her lost sister and eventually happening upon... all that stuff already mentioned. But it can be surprisingly involving too. And really, really awful... but that's a given.

MORGAN PAULL: PODCAST INTERVIEW

PODCAST INTERVIEW WITH MORGAN PAULL

Listen to internet radio with cultfilmfreak on Blog Talk Radio

The late Morgan Paull was a great character-actor who played George C. Scott's right hand man in PATTON; a swinging cop in the exploitation gem DIRTY O'NEIL; a troubled scientist in THE SWARM; a mobster in the Mystery Science Theater bashed MITCHELL; a shifty producer in FADE TO BLACK; and he's most known as Holden, the Tyrrel Corporation agent from the intro of BLADE RUNNER. This is Morgan's last interview. He talks about subjects ranging from George C. Scott's temper to working twice with Harrison Ford to advice from Michael Caine about director Irwin Allen. 

With June Fairchild and Tara Strohmeier in DIRTY O'NEIL

In the John Wayne movie CAHILL: UNITED STATES MARSHALL

As Holden in BLADE RUNNER

MY OFFICIAL PODCAST SITE CAN BE FOUND HERE

GAMERA

title: GAMERA

year: 1965

cast: Eiji Fanakoshi

rating: ***1/2

There are so many versions of this giant turtle epic that it's hard to find the actual source: the real thing is obviously the version without the Americans thrown in, giving their input and turning things into a world crisis that audiences that relate with stateside, but what's patchworked together in the movie that's readily available is an intense, terrific man-in-monster-costume ride. A side-story involving a kid who loves turtles provides more color than the rambling dialog of the scientists figuring a way to destroy a beast: who ferociously thrives on whatever weapons are thrown at him. But the savory battles, and the last ten minutes providing the much-mentioned "Plan" to finally rid of "Gammera" (the actual spelling), makes the whole crazy romp worthwhile.

LOUISE FLETCHER: PODCAST INTERVIEW

Many know LOUISE FLETCHER as the formidable Nurse Ratched in ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST. Her steely yet calm persistence to keep the asylum patients in line, whilst battling a jovial roughneck convict (Jack Nicholson's McMurphy), won her an Academy Award. Louise gained recent accolades as William H. Macy's mother in SHAMELESS and provided a great podcast interview.

Listen to internet radio with cultfilmfreak on Blog Talk Radio

MY OFFICIAL PODCAST SITE CAN BE FOUND HERE